


Crush

by Dainonico



Category: Dr. STONE (Anime), Dr. STONE (Manga)
Genre: Affairs, Anal Sex, Angst, Cheating, College, Crush at First Sight, Discord: The Kingdom of Shipping (Dr. STONE), Drama, Dubious Consent, Face Slapping, Falling In Love, First Crush, Fluff and Angst, Hate Sex, High School, Humiliation, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Love, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, M/M, Memories, Oral Sex, Revenge, Revenge Sex, Sad, Sex, Shameless Smut, Smut, TKS, Teacher-Student Relationship, TheKingdomofShipping, Unrequited Love, Verbal Abuse, adding more tags as the story goes, college Senku, high school Senku, triggering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:55:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 68,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24574177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dainonico/pseuds/Dainonico
Summary: Senku couldn't get over his first crush, for four years a stone had been sitting on his heart, he knew he had to move on but life doesn't work that way.
Relationships: Dr. Xeno/ Stanley Snyder, Ishigami Senku/ Dr. Xeno, Ishigami Senkuu/Shishiou Tsukasa, Nanami Ryuusui/Stanley Snyder
Comments: 124
Kudos: 161





	1. First Crush

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!!! Welcome to the new angst, Rohei shared this wonderful idea with me and trusted that I could write some good angst and loving scenary. 
> 
> Hope you'll like it.

Lips kissing in the dark. He trailed his fingers down his neck, Senku was breathless, all the time that had passed between them, the fear of never seeing him again, of never hearing him again and of not feeling him again, but now they were here, lips firm and warm against each other, tempting him until he was gasping for a slight of breath. The blonde didn’t believe in destiny, but sure the wheels of faith were turning at his favor, he never stopped thinking about him and did everything in his power to obtain a scholarship on the university he was now teaching. Of course, he got it; it was easy, the difficult part was convincing Byakuya that Harvard was better than any university on Japan.

He pulled Senku against him and once again pressed their mouths together, possessing him like the blonde always imagined in his wild dreams for all those years; he captured the moans of his mouth and took advantage of his open lips to run his tongue along them, tasting him lightly until Senku couldn’t bear the teasing. He looked adorable, bright eyes like sunlight rays, cheeks champagne pink and swollen red lips for the intense make out session.

“I told you that…” He moaned by feeling the other’s lips against his neck. “You weren’t going to get rid of me.”

“I should have believed you.” Xeno was slowly biting the blonde’s collarbone, his arm was around the blonde’s waist, pulling him further. “But all your insistence has finally paid off.” He held his chin tightly and deepened into another kiss, as if meant to conquer him, but Senku had already surrendered.

°°°

Four years ago, the Ishigami home received an exchange student from United States, the guy was going to stayed in their house for six months in what he studied under the supervision of Byakuya, it was essential for him to finish his bachelor degree in physical sciences.

“Welcome to your new home.” The teacher said while helping the guy carry one of his suitcases. “Here’s the living room, the kitchen, the hall and your bedroom.” He said, giving him the quickest house tour in history.

The room was small but perfect for the occasion, with woven straw mats that measure about one by two meters in size, with built in shelves and desk into one side of the room below the window.

“The futon mattress is folded in the closet; you can take it out and set it during the evening after dinner.”

The guy nodded and let out a silently sighed, he sure would miss his bed back at home, but this was a special opportunity, it was for science. They heard footsteps and saw a teenager with a strange hairstyle of blonde spikes with green tips and bright crimson eyes that peeked out the door.

“Senku.” His dad said. “Come and meet my new student and our new roommate.”

The blonde was instantly hypnotized by the guy’s mien, long white slicked back hair that appeared sharp and sophisticated, his face seemed kind, but his eyes were beautiful, wild, crazy, like some animal peering out of a forest on fire; his appearance demonstrated someone elegant, flawless and possessing of such an strength aura that was disconcerting and utterly attractive at the same time.

“He is my son, Senku, he’s fifteen and in high school.” Happiness could be heard on Byakuya’s voice. “And he is Xeno, a third-year university student, he’ll stay with us for six months. I hope the two of you can get along.”

The blonde swallowed, it happened at the mere instant when their eyes met, he was sure it was right here and now, he was falling hard and Senku could only hope for his dad’s student to be feeling the same way as he.

It was the first time he had fallen in love with someone and it was so strange that it be with a person he just met, it was a sensation of having your throat cut open, just that fast and a cascade of new feelings were pouring down. Girls never interested him and had little time suspecting that he might be attracted to his same sex, but not that it would happen just then. 

Like a poorly written love novel, it was like love at first sight, Senku stayed in the room with them, watching how Xeno was arranging the things from his suitcase, turning that room into a temporary home and how his father kept talking about everything they could do during his stay.

The blonde couldn’t stop looking at the American, all he was aware in that room full of furniture was him, where he was, what he’s doing, what’s he talking with his dad; it was an overwhelming feeling and Senku wanted it gone. When the guy turned to see him, he quickly focused on his phone as if it was the most interesting object in the universe, cheeks slight pink as he was embarrassed of Xeno catching him looking at him.

When Xeno finished arranging the room to his liking, Byakuya proposed something. “We should go out to eat, there’s this ramen place where my boy and I love to go.”

Senku flinched by being called “my boy”, as he felt like a child, he didn’t need Xeno to see him that way, not if he was now his new and dearly crush.

“I’m in.” the American said. 

It was night, the stars filled the sky like diamond dusts shining brightly, like a promise of life in the darkness, one light that guide their way; it was August so there was a slight warm breeze caressing their hair. They walked for ten minutes until they reached the entrance of the ramen place, Byakuya’s phone rang and he signaled the guys to enter without him.

Senku walked ahead of the American and sat down on his usual table at the corner. “For your first Japanese food, ramen it’s a great choice.” He said trying to start a conversation; the blonde was nervous and every breath he took felt like he was trying to breathe through broken glass. All these emotions were new to him and didn’t know how to react or how to move, was he being too obvious?

“It smells nice.” Xeno held his chin with his right hand, glaring directly into the ruby eyes.

Senku kept his hands clenched at the sides to avoid wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans. “You should order the tonkotsu ramen, it’s the specialty here.”

“Sure, I’m fine with whatever you and your dad choose.”

The blonde was trying to find more words, this never happened before, normally he would have some smirk comments to reply at the cold answers of the American, but now his brain was constantly searching for any sign that he was alright, like a phone seeking a signal when out in the woods, but like the phone he’s out of range and was lost with a blank mind.

Byakuya finally entered the restaurant and broke the uncomfortable silence that was flooding the place, he ordered three tonkotsu ramen and explained to Xeno how to eat with chopsticks.

“First you hold the upper chopstick like a pencil, about one-third of the way from its top.”

Senku thought the American looked cute trying, his brow furrowed in total concentration as his hand was trembling holding the chopsticks, clearly not used to eating like that.

“Place the second chopstick against your ringer finger and hold it with your thumb.”

“Nevermind, I can eat with a fork.” He grunted.

Senku’s neurons quickly reconnected and an impulse of electricity ran through his entire body, seeing Xeno making a pouted face while hardly trying to hold the chopsticks washed some of his own nervousness away. “So, you’re going to give up so easily?” he chuckled.

The American smirked. “Now you’re talking.” He was trying to move the chopsticks with his thumb, index and middle finger at the same time. “I’ll keep trying then.”

When the food arrived, Xeno was almost ready, his hand now slightly trembling but he sure had a tough time trying to grab the slippery noodles; Byakuya helped them merged into a continuous conversation, about how the American was majoring in physical sciences, a combination of subjects that completely caught the attention of the blonde: astronomy, chemistry, geology, physics, math and statistics.

“I’m a three-year student, so I’m focused on classes associated with my interdisciplinary field.” Xeno said while trying to slurp some of the noodles. “That’s why your dad is going to be my tutor this semester.”

“In what field are you focusing?” Senku asked.

“Theoretical physics.”

“That sounds exhilarating.”

“It sure does.”

Senku could feel his heartbeat, every single pound dancing in his chest, that guy was studying what he wanted to do since he was a child, a quiet sigh escaped his mouth as he realized he was still stuck in high school. What a dream would be to finally be at university and study what his heart wanted, to achieve his goal of going to the moon.

Setting goals comes from a truthful and soulful mediation with one’s self, a deep sense of what are you going to do with your life and what you wish to give; there really wasn’t an obstacle to Senku’s own success, only his huge desperation to achieve everything in mere seconds; listening to Xeno’s career path was inspiring, it sure added a bit extra to his already strange sudden crush.

After finishing their dinner they returned home, Byakuya said goodbye to the guys and went directly to his room; Senku went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, his throat was feeling dry as nervous butterflies were trying to run away from his body.

Xeno was handsome, intriguing, intelligent and that was making him feel crazy; he just met him and was having a hard time talking with normality and getting him out of his head, it was too much.

“What?” Senku asked, feeling anxious that the American was looking at him, he thought he went to his room right behind Byakuya, but here he was, under the kitchen door, watching him.

“Nothing.” He said, arms crossed and a smirked on his face.

The blonde rolled his eyes and continue sipping the glass of water. “Then, why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because I know you like me.”

Senku almost spat out the water and coughed after swallowing it with difficulty. “Are you nuts?”

Xeno shook his head. “Your body language shows it.”

“That’s a lie.”

He slowly walked up to him, being just inches apart. “You can’t stop looking at me.”

“Nonsense.” Senku avoided his dark eyes and glare at his cold glass.

“You were giving me your full undivided attention for the whole meal.” The American smirked and lifted the blonde’s chin with two fingers. “You’re nervous around me, sweating palms, shaking hands and you just met me.”

“Are you going to kiss me?” Senku blabbered stupidly, his skin tingled when the American touched his shoulders and leaned his head. The blonde’s heart was beating faster and faster as red met black, his lips were puffing, they were just millimeters apart, was this really happening? He had been admiring his beauty for the last few hours but didn’t know if it was right to act on it.

Xeno took a step back and released the blonde while giggling. “You’re just a brat, I’m 22 years old and in college.” His lips edges were pushed up, scrunching one eye up. “Besides, I have a boyfriend back at home, way cuter than you.” He shrugged his shoulders and turned his back to the blonde.

Senku’s stomach was shifting uneasily as he noticed that the hands with which he was hugging himself were pinching into his skin, he released his hands but couldn’t figure out what to do with them. Why did he ask him that?

“I’m going to be living here for six months, so I recommend that we just remained as mere roommates.” Xeno’s lips parted a centimeter, making him looked so seductively, but his fake smile on that pristine face made him appear all too arrogant, he sure was loving Senku’s love interest in him. “I suggest you forget about this nonsense crush. Goodnight.”

Senku was mortified, frozen to the spot as he couldn’t believe that just happened, he sighed, it was just a stupid schoolboy crush, it had to disappear with time, specially now knowing the American wasn’t interested, he was a grownup and even had a boyfriend. The silly crush should vanish by itself, right? Right?

°°°

The clothes were disappearing as Xeno was pinning him down on the bed, they stared at each other in an odd way, as if there existed a silent argument, their glances battling with each other, the sounds of their breaths mingling and the hearts pounding. His hand was fondling the champagne pink cheek, and he leaned in for their lips to meet once again.

A full on, open-mouthed kiss, extremely sexual and Senku loved every second of if, how his small body was slowly melting by the embrace and the touch, the way their lips were fitting like two missed puzzle pieces and his mouth lingering on his, grazing his lower lip, making the blonde shiver endlessly.

“I’m glad you didn’t get over your crush.” Xeno pulled apart as he was taking shaky, shallow breaths.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“You can stop thinking for tonight.” The American was holding tighter the blonde’s body, ready to continue with the intense make out session. “Are you sure you want to go all the way with me? There’s not turning back.”

“Just take off your ring and I’m yours.”

Xeno smirked as he did what he’s asked, placing the golden ring on the bedside table, making a sound that echoed throughout the room. “It’s a deal.” His mouth came down on Senku’s and that was it, all the self-control he’d exerted over the past four years went like water crashing through a broken dam.


	2. Over and Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You didn’t know he had a boyfriend? Taiju asked.
> 
> Of course he knew about the boyfriend, Xeno made a specific comment of that guy being cuter than him and even though Senku didn’t consider himself as cute, he sure know he was attractive and how dare he. Was he jealous of a guy he didn’t even know?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Chapter 2, let's angst together, shall we?

“Hmm, you’re so bad at this.”

Senku double blinked and stopped licking the American’s cock.

“You’re just licking it.” Xeno sighed. “Put it in your mouth.”

The blonde was glaring at the cock, precum was leaking out of it, but if Xeno wanted a deeper touch he could try and do it, he was nervous and looked particularly adorable; Senku tried to put in it in his mouth like he’d seen on various internet videos and ended up instantly gagging.

The American rolled his eyes, he raised the blonde’s face and lean in to give him a little kiss on the lips, then with his right fingers pushed him face up on the bed. “Learn from this.” Xeno was making eye contact with him, the blonde felt an electric passion flowing through his body. “You gotta lick it like it’s your favorite ice cream flavor.” He was flicking the tip with his tongue, then continue to suck it and hold it in inside his mouth, moving the tongue in circles.

Senku’s head was spinning, it was the first time he felt a moist mouth on his cock, his hand was everything he knew and boy! It was so different, so intense, so immediately addictive.

He let out his first sex moans and Xeno chuckled. “You sure are a virgin.” The American lick down all the length, he was caressing his balls with the hand that he didn’t use for writing in an intentional sloppy touch.

“D-do you have… a problem with…t-this being my first time?” Senku gasped, the tongue was making wonders on him.

“Not at all, Stanley wasn’t a virgin the first time we did it.” His hand was going down, touching delicately the white burning thighs, he stopped a second to grab the lube from the bedside table and poured it on his fingers, then he slowly began massaging the blonde’s taint. “I’m excited to pop your cherry.”

“Please don’t talk about him.” Senku shivered from the sudden cold, but he didn’t care, he was glad that the American was giving him so much attention, an attention he craved four years ago.

Xeno smirked, he was introducing the first finger in the virginal tight hole, making a circling motion inside; the blonde was moaning slowly, getting used to the new intrusion. “You’re on our bed and now you care about not mentioning him?” He gently brushed his other hand on Senku’s chest. “Slowly breath, relax.”

There was more pleasure and arousal than pain, but he followed his advice, Senku took a deep breath and listened to the pounding of his heart; it was a strange situation, wrong in almost every sense but there was something in the way Xeno smiled that reminded him of his better self, he fallen in love with his creative mind and brain full of magic and sparkling ideas. So, yes, he had a crush on Xeno since forever, one crush that could last as such gentle admiration does and he wouldn’t regret losing his virginity with him.

* * *

“How’s your dad new transfer student?” Taiju asked, they were on their school break at the rooftop.

Senku was eating a melon pan, his cheeks instantly blushed by the mention of the American. “He’s fine.” He mumbled.

“Fine?” Taiju had just finished his bento box and was sipping a milk bottle. “You sounded very eager to meet him, since your dad was going to be his tutor, you said it would be a great opportunity to talk about science with someone else.”

“Was he mean?” Yuzuriha asked, her eyes showed a gentle concern towards her friend, even though Senku didn’t like to express his complete feelings, she knew something was off.

“He wasn’t mean, he’s just busy.” Senku didn’t want to tell them that he had fallen in love instantly when he saw him, that he thought Xeno was going to kiss him but instead confessed that he has a boyfriend waiting for him in United States.

Yuzuriha offered him a strawberry pocky, which the blonde gladly accepted. “Don’t worry, he just got here, you will have plenty of time to know him.”

“Yeah man, you’re awesome.” Taiju patted him on the back. “He’ll end being your friend pretty soon.”

Senku chuckled, trying to pretend to his friends that he wasn’t bothered by the American’s attitude. “I don’t care if we end up getting along or not.” He bit the pocky. “He’ll be gone in six months.”

Six months he hoped would pass quickly, Xeno had been living at his house for just one week and the blonde couldn’t stop looking at him or thinking about him, it was so tiresome, what was happening with his brain? It was just a silly high school crush, he had to get over him, but how?

“Do you have a picture of him?” Taiju eagerly asked.

“Of course not, you big oaf.” The blonde frowned. “Why would I have a photo of him in the first place?” But now that he was thinking about it, a picture of Xeno stuck on his walled sure sounded nice, he sighed by noticing he was fantasizing about a guy like a high school girl.

“I just want to see how he looks like.”

“For what?”

“I think what Taiju means is that, we’re going to meet him sooner or later.” Yuzuriha said, she was playing with the long curls of her brown hair. “It would be nice to see his face and recognized him the moment we met him at your home.”

Senku’s heart was beating, it was a normal thought of them to want to meet Xeno, but why was he feeling suddenly nervous? They would notice the American’s cold shoulder towards him and quickly ignore him, but maybe he was afraid of them noticing his obvious crush; when Xeno entered a room, the blonde was aware of him, where he is, what’s he doing, who he’s talking to. It was too much.

“I don’t really have a picture of him.” He muttered, hoping his cheeks weren’t as blush as he felt them.

“What’s his name?” Taiju asked, phone on his hand.

Senku swallowed hard, he hadn’t looked at the American on social media, he was right at his home, there was no need to admire him somewhere else. “Xeno.” He almost whispered.

“And the last name?”

The blonde shrugged his shoulders, he really didn’t know and was ashamed of not having that important information.

“Just type Xeno, I don’t think many people share his name.” Yuzuriha said, looking at the phone over the brunette’s shoulder.

“Is this him, Senku?” Taiju asked while excitedly shoving the phone into the blonde’s face.

The blonde grunted, annoyed by the phone’s bright light, he grabbed it and among his stillness was a pounding heart looking to get out of his chest; Xeno’s profile picture was stunning, beautiful wild eyes, dark eyebrows sloped downwards in a serious expression, and a playful smile drawn into a hard line across his face.

“Yes.” He tried to answer without feeling amused.

“You should send him a friend request.” Taiju said, he was smiling by how quickly he found the American’s social media.

“Not interested.” Senku lied and gave back the phone to his friend.

Taiju and Yuzuriha began scrolling down the American’s timeline. “He’s majoring in Physical Studies at Harvard University.”

“I know.”

“He has written several scientific articles.” Yuzuriha said amazed.

“That’s right.” Senku was drinking from his water bottle, wanting to end soon the conversation.

“His boyfriend is cute.” Yuzuriha giggled and Senku spit out the water.

“Let me see.” He said, glaring also over the brunette’s shoulder.

“You didn’t know he had a boyfriend? Taiju asked.

Of course he knew about the boyfriend, Xeno made a specific comment of that guy being cuter than him and even though Senku didn’t consider himself as cute, he sure know he was attractive and how dare he. Was he jealous of a guy he didn’t even know?

His stomach twirled when he saw the picture his friends were talking about, a tall guy was hugging Xeno and his face, his face was so pretty almost doll-like with a beauty that made the billboard princesses look paper thin and insignificant, bright orbs as eyes, flawless skin, a sweet smile that invite you to smile along. He looked perfect and suddenly Xeno’s words of calling him cuter felt like a bucket of ice-cold water all over again.

His heart continue pounding on his chest, the American was his sudden crush and now he was certainly he didn’t have an opportunity to get closer to him, but why instead of giving up he felt the sudden urge to try and gain Xeno’s cold heart?

There is no greater failure except in no longer trying; the worst thing one can do is to not to try, to be aware of what his heart wants and not give into it. He felt the worst by thinking those things, but his mind was set, the crush was so intense and he needed to at least kiss Xeno one time, to know if he was truly fallen in love with him and to test if the American like him back.

* * *

Senku couldn’t stop moaning, Xeno had three fingers inside him, circling and twisting, successfully touching every sensitive nerve inside him, he was relax and ready; he raised his arms asking for closeness, Xeno smirked and fall into the desperate embrace to meet with hungry lips.

The blonde’s body was trembling and melting beneath him, as his mouth opened to welcome the American’s tongue, a moan came from deep inside his throat, he was feeling everything and savoring every moment.

“Do you remember our first kiss?” Xeno asked, kissing the blonde’s cheeks and chin with insistence.

Senku covered his eyes with his left arm and smiled. “Of course, I remembered.”

“You almost forced yourself on me.” He removed the fingers and the blonde whimpered by feeling a sudden emptiness. “After months of trying to ignore you…” He slid his hands across his chest, stroked gently his hips. “Finally, one day, Byakuya said he was coming late at night…” He once again caressed his thighs, Senku’s body was burning up. “You forced me to watch a movie with you, remember which one?”

“10 billion percent I remember.”

“Then tell me.”

Senku chuckled. “Back to the future.”

“Don’t forget you played the part three, and even though it wasn’t my favorite, I sat still during the whole movie…” Xeno positioned his cock in the blonde’s pink void, he was ready. “And just near the end, the Doctor said a quote and you almost jumped.”

The blonde’s heart was racing, his legs were wrap around the American, and he almost screamed in a painful ecstasy when he felt something big inside him, tears began coming down his puffed red cheeks as he couldn’t believe he was finally one with him.

“Your future is whatever you make it, so make it a good one.” Xeno said, he was thrusting into the blonde with a steady and slow rhythm, he was letting him get used to this new feeling and if possible, it would be so good if Senku started asking for more. “And then…” He moaned, Senku was so tight, he was making a new way through. “You kissed me.”

Senku was choosing his future, and in order to fully be happy, he needed to not be afraid to trust an unknown future, this was his gambling for a opportunity of a loving relationship.

Xeno remembered that kiss for those four years, somehow against all reason they were kissing on the blonde’s house and on the blonde’s coach, both closed their eyes and the world around them faded, the TV noise, the pizza aroma, it was gone, because all that matter was the taste of Senku’s mouth; his kiss tasted as delicious and pure as a freshly harvested peach.

At that time Senku was still on high school and even though he wanted to be with him, it felt wrong; Xeno knew that the blonde had a crush on him since the day they met and he found it amusing, he could be so easy to tease, especially when he pointed out to the blonde that he was completely out of his reach.

When the American left, he didn’t even said goodbye to the blonde, hoping both realized their kiss was a mistake and let the door close to try and forget. Xeno quickly got engaged to his boyfriend and spend four wonderful years together as a married couple, Stanley was precious, was seductive, was perfect; he didn’t need anything else, or so he thought.

The first day of the spring semester he instantly recognized those hypnotic crimson eyes and blonde spiked hair with green tips, and he sadly noticed that their desire never died, it was worse, it remained constant for all those years and now that Senku was a grownup, there was nothing stopping them in consuming their love.

And now, he was pushing his cock inside Senku’s tight hole, his voice, his face, his biting lips, his shivering shoulder muscles were all his brain could dwell on; the blonde was like a forbidden fruit and now that he had tried it, he didn’t think there was anything in the world that could make him quit it.

The night was filled with their dance, moans and tears, as their bodies fitted perfectly together like two missed puzzle pieces; Senku sighed everytime Xeno slid out of him, he needed him. “Kiss me.” He whispered. “Kiss me like the first time.”

The American went back in, painfully slow, he was getting an addiction of seeing the blonde gasped for pleasure, and he reached his mouth, softly brushed his lips against the blonde’s lips, there was love and desperation in that kiss, Senku pulled him closer, their chests sweeping together; he was never wrapped around someone’s body like that and the blonde was in shocked and in love at how his body was eagerly responding.

Xeno took his lips away from his love’s puffed mouth and gently began trailing kisses down his neck, something was bubbling inside the blonde’s body, it was spreading towards his lower stomach and groin area.

The American bite his neck and Senku scratched his back, a promise of starlight and brilliant pearls scattered across the blonde’s chest, he could barely breath; Xeno continue rocking his hips back and forth and when he felt the blonde’s hole tighten around his cock, he groaned and abruptly kissed him, in a way to quiet down his insistent moans; his seed was spilling inside Senku and he felt wonderful.

Xeno pulled out and was still aroused by contemplating the mess that the blonde’s body was, his chest was rising and falling slowly, his skin was the smoothest texture, his hair was down almost shoulder length and his cheeks were pomegranate red. It was a perfect picture of a forbidden love, he captured it forever in his mind.

“Can I stay the night?” Senku shyly asked, he wasn’t ready to be alone at his dorm room, not after this.

Xeno sighed as he wrapped his arms around the blonde’s hips, both were facing each other on the comfy bed. “Sure, Stanley doesn’t come back home until the end of the month.”

Hearing that name was almost like feeling a punch to his stomach, Senku was now suffering the easily foreseeable consequences; there should be a happiness within each other after their intense love session, it was his first time but it felt wonderful and was glad he did it with Xeno. They broke the laws of love, but Senku didn’t care, for now it seemed enough to just spend time with him.

“What are we?” He dared to ask, it was better to know now and avoid more avoidable suffering.

The American thought for a second, he gently brushed the blonde’s hair lock behind his ear and kissed him softly on the lips, and Senku strained helplessly in his arms, he had craved this for so long and was finally here, the future he decided to make.

“We’re lovers.” He said and it sounded like a sweet fairy-tale, a tale Senku was eager to participate.

They kiss again, Xeno’s mouth had settled on his lips with intent, firm and insistence and when the blonde gasped by the sudden touch, his tongue slid playfully between his parted lips and teased him obtaining more moans from his throat. They were willing to continue making the same mistake over and over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tysm for reading it, I appreacite all your kudos and comments.  
> You can follow me on twitter for every fic update notice @Dainonico.


	3. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Senku was once again suffering easily for the foreseeable consequences, it was so obvious something like this would happen, but he tried to not give it importance and enjoy the ride while it last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, welcome to chapter 3!!! Let's continue with the angst.

Senku woke up, he needed a moment to shed the sleep from his brain, he rubbed a hand against his tire eye and yawned; a memory ran through his mind and his cheeks were immediately painted pastel pink, he almost didn’t sleep during the night, Xeno didn’t allow it.

He sat up on the bed and rubbed a hand against his fallen down messy hair, it had been almost two consecutive weeks that he had been staying the night, it was almost as if they were a real couple; walked to college together, sat in his desk and listened to Xeno’s teaching, then they would separate during the day, but at the afternoon the American would be waiting for him at the college’s gate and walked together back at _“home”,_ even though it wasn’t his home it sure felt like it.

They would have dinner and talked during the night, Xeno had always been a very interesting man and Senku was excited to be able to capture his attention for several hours straight; then as the routine indicated the blonde would asked “Can I stay the night?” and Xeno would simply nodded.

The blonde felt loved by the American touches, caresses and kisses, his body never got tired of their late-night dances, and he couldn’t avoid moaning louder as the time passed. Xeno would kiss his neck, suck on his pink nipples and brushed his hair while thrusting him; Senku was always hard against him, his needed erection was almost bursting and begging for a slight touch, the American loved to teased him, acknowledge the fact that the blonde deeply wanted him, his body wanted to be claim, and there was no way Xeno would stop.

Senku’s brain was almost lost during the night, the sounds that escaped from his mouths were moans, purrs and the American’s name; his mouth was wet from Xeno’s and his breathing was slightly labored, those deep kisses would have been the only sign of arousal, had it not been for the heat pushing inside his pink void.

“How much do you want me?” Xeno whispered in between trusts, he was whirling his hips, thrusting harder while holding the blonde’s legs over his shoulders.

Senku just continue moaning, grabbing tightly at the bedsheets.

“If you don’t answer me, I’m pulling out.” He said while tugging at one of the puffy cheeks.

Tears began forming on the corner of the blonde’s eyes as he felt the cock slowly leaving him empty, he whined and shook his head.

Xeno arched an eyebrow, almost outside with just the tip teasing against the beating pink wet cavern. “How much do you want me?” he asked again.

Senku opened his mouth alongside his eyes, his garnets getting lost in the beauty of the night, those black eyes were drilling into his soul; he gasped for air. “I want you…” he murmured.

“I know you want me.” Xeno pushed the tip a little bit inside, feeling how the walls were eagerly clamping at him. “But how much?”

The blonde bit his lower lip, he needed to feel full again, the teasing was unbearable. “I want everything of you.” He screamed and got surprised at the ability he sudden got to say it aloud; the tears began falling down his reddish cheeks. “I want you; I want you here with me right now; I want to be with you; I…” He sobbed. “I just want you, since so long.”

The American smiled and with his fingers picked up the tears that were falling down from the blonde’s face, he leaned in and kissed him, pulling him into a deep and moist darkness where there was still too much to feel and Senku hold onto his back, accepting the affection that his lover was giving him.

When the blonde stopped crying Xeno pushed his cock all the way in and continue with the perfect love making, he preferred to see him burst with an intense pleasure rather than see him cry because of him, although the American loved spending time with Senku and feeling that they had a one of a kind strong connection, he knew they weren’t destined to be together.

So, he would enjoy this time together, even if it meant hurting Senku and hurting Stanley, the forbidden fruit was special, addictive, and delicious.

That morning Senku saw his body, Xeno had left love marks in every available part of his white skin, this relationship was wrong, and he knew it, but he couldn’t ignore his feelings, not after all those years. The blonde glared at the other side of the bed and found it empty, it was Saturday, which meant it was a free day for the both, they could stay on bed and cuddle all morning.

Senku yawned once more and pulled the covers away from his body, he stand up and grabbed the black shirt that Xeno tossed overnight on the floor, it was a little big and short, but it covered the minimum.

The blonde was walking through the apartment trying to find his lost lover, he smiled when the smell of pancakes rubbed against his nose, the American wasn’t very emotional, but he had his special moments where he expressed his love and care with certain actions and details.

Senku was at the kitchen’s door frame when he saw Xeno flipping one pancake on the skillet and speaking English on the phone with someone.

“Yes, I’m fine.” He said without taking his eyes off the stove. “I’m going to rest today, tomorrow I’ll grade some works.” He laughed. “Yes, they’re so dumb, but what you’re gonna do about it? I still have to teach them.” Xeno placed the perfectly round pancake on a plate and poured some more mix on the now empty skillet. “Of course I miss you, I can’t wait for you to come home.”

Senku’s eyes were wide open, he didn’t know if it was okay for him to entered and sat down at the kitchen table, no when he was hearing that conversation which was giving him a great heartache; there was pain showed in his crimson eyes, but what he could do? He accepted this strange relationship since his first day on the United States, but nothing had prepared him for what he heard next.

“Talk to you later, I love you.”

_I love **y** ou. _

_I love y **o** u_

_I love yo **u**_

**_You_ **

The blonde’s heart sank, he was never going to hear that phrase from Xeno, he was never going to dedicate it nor tell it to him. It was a phrase reversed for his husband.

Senku was once again suffering easily for the foreseeable consequences, it was so obvious something like this would happen, but he tried to not give it importance and enjoy the ride while it last. A nausea was swirling unrestrained in his empty stomach as his head was swimming with half-formed regrets, he hugged himself and once Xeno finished the call he stepped inside the kitchen.

The blonde sat silently at the table and waited patiently to be noticed, his heart was struggling to keep a steady bit and he passed a hand over his fallen hair in an attempt to distract himself with anything.

“Breakfast is ready.” Xeno said in Japanese while placing a plate with pancakes in front of him, he wasn’t smiling like last night, and that hurt him more.

“I’m not hungry.” Senku lied.

The American frowned his eyebrows. “What you’re talking about?” He sat at the other end of the table, pouring orange juice on two glasses. “We did a lot of exercise last night, you need food. Don’t be dumb.”

Senku accepted the glass with juice and took a sip, it was sour-sweet, just like his love situation; he had a melancholy mood hung over his head like a black cloud ready to pour down the rain, maybe Xeno noticed his hurt look, maybe he knew he listened to his private phone conversation, but if those assumptions were true, it didn’t seem like the American was going to tell him; Xeno just stood up from his seat and took the five steps to stand right next to him, and he brushed his lips against his.

This situation was like his favorite type of candy, a bit sour at first but all the sweetness came overflooding in the long run, and when he felt his lover’s lips, Senku couldn’t controlled himself and kept kissing him, harder, stronger and with a huge desire.

For all of Xeno’s sourness, Senku was forever ruled by his heart.

* * *

“Senku, why don’t you show Xeno around the city?” Byakuya said, it was Saturday morning and they had just finished breakfast; almost one month had passed since the American was living with them.

The blonde winked twice, and he quickly tried to hide the enthusiasm at his dad’s proposal by continuing washing the dishes, but before he could answer he heard Xeno chuckled hard.

“No need to.”

“Yes, you deserve some relaxing time.” Byakuya patted him on the back. “All you have been doing these past weeks is attending some of the university classes, working with me in the laboratory and returning home; you deserve some time for yourself.”

“Then I can rest here and read some books or finish writing the scientific article about quantum renewal processes.” The American was still sitting at the kitchen table, holding his chin with one hand.

“You need to have fun!” The father exclaimed. “I’m not taking a no for an answer.” He approached to his son and touched his shoulder. “Please take him someplace fun, I would love to go with you two, but I have to work today.” Byakuya sighed and brushed his kid’s hair in a playful way, then he said goodbye to both guys, grabbed his suitcase and disappear through the front door.

“We don’t need to go out, we’ll just said you take me to a park or something.” Xeno said after hearing the front door closing.

Senku finished with the dishes and turned to face the American. “You despise me so much?” He tried to say it in a mocking way.

Xeno rolled his eyes. “I don’t despise you, it’s just that I don’t want to go out with a kid that has a crush on me.”

“I don’t have a crush on you.”

The American chuckled and glared directly at the blonde, the two onyx stones were intense and deep; Senku swallowed hard, he was having trouble getting over him, one month had passed since their talked late at night on the kitchen, where he thought Xeno was going to kissed him and instead showed off his cute and beautiful boyfriend.

“Yeah, right.”

Senku puffed. “I don’t have to explain anything to you.” He was walking towards the living room, leaving the American alone at the table. “Okay, let’s do that, let’s tell Byakuya that we went out and had a _great_ time.” He sat down on the couch and turned on the TV, trying to ignore the presence of his roommate.

Xeno walked quickly to perch between the blonde and the television, tilted his body and brought his face closer to Senku’s face, until they were separated by mere centimeters. “Then, proved me that you don’t have a crush on me anymore.”

“How can I prove that?” Senku was having a hard time controlling his breathing and heartbeat, it was lovely to have the American’s face so close to his, he could feel his warm breath and smell his rosewood earthy scent, getting slowly lost onto those black perfect voids and admiring his thick pink lips.

“I won’t move for two minutes.” He said slowly, tucking one of the blonde’s hair locks behind his ear. “Even if you kiss me, I won’t move.” Even though he smiled, for the blonde it was more like an arrogant smirk with just a small pouting of the lips and tilting of his head; he was tempting him.

Senku wanted to unite their lips in a delicate kiss, but he knew Xeno would mock him again, and needed to resist it, so he stood still, biting his lip and looking so deeply into those deep black spheres. 

57

58

59

60

One more minute to go, the blonde was focusing on counting the time on his mind, hearing the beats of his heart like a metronome, keeping a steady rhythm. There was a moment where he even forgot to blink and breath.

117

118

119

120

Two minutes and Senku didn’t kiss him, he sighed of relief by gathering inner strength, one month ago he sure would have succumbed into that proposal.

“See?” He asked, crossing his arms, and arching an eyebrow while biting the edge of his smile. “I told you I don’t have that stupid crush anymore.”

Xeno laughed, it sounded so cold and worthless. “I’m glad.” He leaned in closer to whispered in his ear. “It would be pathetic if you still had that crush on me.” And he retrieved, Senku saw the intention behind his perking lips, the American was trying to poke at him.

The blonde needed to be patient and wait to make a special connection with Xeno; Senku wanted the opportunity to get to know him better, to talk with him about everything and about nothing at the same time and for last, he wished for the American to show a true interest in him.

“Well then, showed me the city.”

Senku sighed and said. “Gladly.” A smile crept as he felt the air grew thick with a tenderness that couldn’t help but make him breath slower, deeper and happier; this was the perfect opportunity for them to start becoming friends and the blonde only hoped that with time that could change into something more, he was sure that for the remaining five months he could make Xeno forget his boyfriend.

He just needed to find the perfect moment to kiss him and showed him once more, his true feelings.

Do you know what it’s like to like someone so much you can’t stand it?

It’s worse when you know that maybe they’ll never feel the same way.

But Senku was going to try.

* * *

Xeno enjoyed walking between the desks while teaching, he talked with a steady and strong voice and had a look of one who had grown too fast in youth.

Senku loved to see him, he felt lighter while a smile was spreading over his face, a smile that surely belongs there, his cheeks were rosy and he tried his best in keep writing what the teacher was explaining, but he couldn’t stopped daydreaming about their last night together.

The only thing he hated the most was that Xeno always wore his ring during classes, he never took it off, and it shone so brightly that it hurt his eyesight.

“Ishigami.”

He heard his name being called, normally they usually tried to communicate as little as possible at the university, but he couldn’t stop blushing when hearing his last name.

“Yes?”

“You didn’t give me your essay at the beginning of class.”

Senku’s eyes open widely as an astonishment look invaded his face. He forgot to do it. How could he forget it? He always tried to get his essays done on time, they were too simple, it didn’t take him long to do them, but…

He avoided the teacher’s glare, this past week he got so lost on Xeno’s touches and kisses that he totally forgot to do the essays for his class; he was feeling so embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I can give it to you tomorrow.”

The American got near him and slammed his both hands on the desk. “You’re a college student, how can you forget something so simple?” He sighed and whispered so Senku was the only one to hear it. “I’ll have to punish you, tonight.” He quickly walked away from the desk and continued walking around the classroom. “I know more of you forgot to deliver this work, deliver it tomorrow first thing in the morning and maybe I’ll give you a barely passing grade.”

The blonde was having trouble controlling his beating heart, he got so scared and aroused at the same time; the hair on his arms stand for attention as chills were marching down his spine. He had to focus more on his university’s classes, a crush wasn’t going to make him start failing, especially when he understood all the information perfectly; he just needed to find a balance between his classes and his new strange relationship.

At the end of the school day, he glanced at his phone and saw three incoming messages: one from his dad, one from Taiju and one from Tsukasa.

Byakuya  
  
How's everything going son? I miss you so much.  
  


Taiju  
  
Yuzuriha and I miss you, let's talk on skype one of these days. Don't forget about us. (ಥ﹏ಥ)  
  


Tsukasa  
  
Hi, hope you’re doing great. Listen, in one month I have a fight tournament on Boston and would love to meet up with you.   
  
As soon as I have the date and times, I will inform you; I hope you can make me a place in your busy agenda.   
  


Senku was walking towards the university entrance, rereading Tsukasa’s message, he hadn’t thought about him since he had come to the United States, a smile formed on his face. He started dating Tsukasa on his last year of high school, he was great, caring and loving to him; they didn’t do more than just kissing once in a while, but he ended everything once he got accepted into Harvard.

The brunette understood and told him to follow his dreams, but now he wanted to come and see him, meet him again. 

He looked towards the entrance and saw Xeno leaning against the brick wall, he was putting his golden ring in his right pocket and extending his hand to motion at Senku to get closer.  
The blonde sighed and kept his phone in his jeans pocket, he would answer the text messages later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy for how well received this fic is, tysm for continue reading it; I appreciate all your kudos and comments. 
> 
> You can follow me on twitter for every fic update notice @Dainonico.


	4. Brightly Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stars filled the sky, like a promise of life in the darkness, but this night he couldn’t enjoyed the sight as brightly tears where running. down his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! Welcome to chapter 4, here, have some angst.

Xeno sipped at his red swollen lips, teasing him with little nibbling kisses along his soft bottom lip, caressing his chest and pinching his strawberry nipples under his green shirt. The American had him sitting on his lap, pressing his body against the blonde, tracing his tongue along the long soft neck, and hearing his lover’s whimpers with every touch he trailed on his body.

“I love to touch you.” He said while spreading his legs open and gripping his thighs; the dark jeans were a nuisance on their intimate touches. “You’re so weak, getting so hard with everything I do to your body.”

Senku chuckled and slightly turned his head back to kiss Xeno’s chin. “This only happens because I showed you all my weak spots.” The blonde wanted to kiss him some more, make out and lay on the bed all night, but the American stopped him.

Xeno grabbed his lover’s hand and placed his fingers on the laptop’s keyboard, they were sitting right in front of the desk in the living room. “I won’t have sex with you until you finish your essay.” He said while biting his ear.

The blonde left out a soft moan and left his head fall back at the American’s chest. “So mean.” He whispered.

“You’re a bad student and I won’t do you any favors.” Xeno couldn’t take his hands away from his student’s body, it was so small, delicate and perfect; he grabbed Senku’s hips and brushed his body once more, making him feel his proud erection. “The faster you finish your essay.” He squeezed his ass. “The faster I’ll reward you.”

Senku’s body was shivering and his own cock was hard as rock, the teasing was unbearable and was having a hard time typing the words; normally he could finish this kind of essays in less than an hour, but Xeno’s body was horribly distracting him.

“Please.” He moaned. “Stop, let me finish really quick and then we can go to bed.”

The American grabbed his chin with one hand and continue licking the smooth neck while rocking his hips up, he loved being a distraction and having that kind of power over the blonde’s body. “I say I’ll punish you.” His other hand continued squeezing his ass. “Now type.”

Senku swallowed hard and do as told.

_Brane worlds are theories with extra spatial dimensions in which ordinary matter is localized on a (3+1) dimensional submanifold._

“Aren’t you going to write about the cosmological constant?” Xeno whispered in his ear, teasing him with his hot breath while touching his lover’s boner over the black jeans.

The blonde slightly nodded, biting his bottom lip in an attempt to control his moans and continued with his essay, he was shakenly breathing, dying to finish his work as fast as possible.

_In this essay we concentrate on the cosmological constant (CC) problem in the context of brane worlds and show how extra-dimensional scenarios may violate Lorentz invariance in the gravity sector of the effective 4D theory._

“Happy?” Senku smirked.

The American kissed him on the cheek, it was sweet, different from the teasing before. “I’ll be happier if you did your work on time.” He took Senku’s face and turned it to meet with his lips, brushing them softly, a peck on the lips. “You’re suppose to be my best student, don’t let me down.”

The blonde’s cheeks were turning a cute pink rose tone, he was loving this kind of special attention, usually the American wasn’t this kind of attentive towards him. “I’ll never let you down.”

“Promise?” Xeno started unbuttoning his love’s shirt, feeling the warm skin underneath.

“It’s a promise.”

“Then, continue typing.” He was slowly caressing near the nipple, teasing the blonde once more. “When you finish, we can do whatever you want.”

“Whatever?”

“Indeed.” He started using circular motions along the white chest, he was slowly getting desperate to yank Senku’s body and throw him onto the bed.

Senku breathe deeply and tried to focus on the screen, Xeno’s body continued pressing against his and he was now playing with his chest, but he could do it, he just needed to concentrate a little bit hard in order to achieve it.

The American was irresistible to him; when he met Xeno he’d already lost his entire world as he was hanging on to something so incomprehensible and pouring his deep love into what he thought was an abyss. But when he was fifteen, they kissed, and it was magical, sweet and deep, a pouring of their true feelings.

Senku thought that maybe Xeno wanted him after the kiss, that he had convinced him to stop thinking about his _cute_ boyfriend, but on the American’s last day in Japan, the blonde never saw him, he couldn’t even said goodbye as he just vanished.

No e-mail.

No phone number.

No nothing

As if those six months and last kiss were all an illusion, he was embarrassed to ask Byakuya for Xeno’s contact information, so he never did, just sometimes typed his name on the computer browser and looked what was he into.

He read about his successful scientific articles, his launching career as an excellent theoretical physicist, his teaching job at Harvard and his engagement to Stanley Snyder. It hurt, he could tell the exact moment his heart shattered into million pieces, but that didn’t stopped him as he needed to face Xeno one more time in their lifetime, to know if their feelings were real, if they could turn into something more, and now they were lovers.

Senku wasn’t fond of the term lover, but he was embracing this new opportunity to be with him; there was something in those black eyes that was so beautiful, so safe and warm at the same time, with just one look he know there was more than just passion and lust. It was a connection, and as if the wheels of fortune had arranged it, Xeno fell for him just as hard; otherwise he wouldn’t be cheating on his husband.

_The apparent violation of causality from the brane observer’s point of view is due to the fact that the region of casual constant is actually bigger than one would naively expect from the ordinary propagation of light in an expanding Universe._

“Done.” Senku stopped typing and lean back onto Xeno’s chest, now he could claim his reward and enjoy the caresses he was giving him.

With one quick movement the American turned his whole body over, making his lover to look directly at him; Xeno’s face was so close to him that Senku could perceive his spicy scent, a delicious mixture of cinnamon, ginger and myrrh, it was a smell that could warm up the coldest nights. Then he felt his lover’s tongue invading his body, it was so insistent and so urgent, and Senku smile, knowing the American was desperate waiting for him to finish.

The blonde hold onto his lover’s neck and wrapped his legs around his waist, Xeno understood the message perfectly and stood up, gently carrying and taking him into the bedroom while they were still sunk in an eternal kiss. Tongues like some writhing sea-shape into their gaping maws, overpowering their senses; then Senku felt the soft sheets on his back and their eyes met, how he loved to looked at Xeno’s face, catching his expression of aesthetic delight.

Senku sighed and pressed the American’s body closer to him, eager for more warmth and as he felt the soft lips tracing marks on his bare chest, he emitted a low moan, also desperate to continue. The teasing had been too much that when Xeno removed his black jeans he saw his underwear wet with precum.

“Eager much?” He teased while gently biting over the fabric, feeling the hot boner between his lips.

“It’s your fault.” Senku sighed.

Xeno pulled down the underwear, freeing the hard-desperate dripping boner, his mouth went down there and began kissing and licking the white thighs. “The fault was completely yours, young man.” It was loving to hear the blonde’s every little moan as he knew he was the sole cause of them.

He continued kissing, fingers wrapping around the small and hot member, Senku was sweet, easy to pleasure and funny to tease, he was perfect in so many ways and he deserved so much more. Xeno knew he couldn’t give him everything he wanted, and that simple thought caused him a deep heartache that he was trying to ignore.

_Do not think about it, just enjoy._

_Do not think about it, just take care of him._

_Do not think about, just **love** him for these nights. _

**_Love him_ ** _._

He was loving him, steady and slow, but loving him by each day and night they passed together, he wanted Senku to be more than his lover, but that mere thought was an impossible reality.

The blonde couldn’t stop the moans that were escaping from his throat, Xeno brought his face closer and gently brushed their noses and lips together, hand still stroking the needy cock.

Senku could still recalled the conversation they had the first day they talked, the American was so mean and disinterested in him, but now it was all different as if they were one since their first time together, inseparable perhaps and embracing a love that would surely destroy them.

Then, Xeno kissed him in a whole different way, softly at first, tasting his cherry lips and then with a swift gradation of intensity that made Senku cling to him, as he was feeling tremors along every nerve of his body; the blonde was feeling as much love for him today, as he ever was since the day they met, possibly even more.

Xeno wanted to kiss him for all eternity, his silken tongue stroking his bottom lip, waiting for the blonde to part his lips, delving inside to taste his sweetness, he sighed into his mouth as he didn’t want this marvelous night to come to an end, the clock was ticking and Xeno made in that right moment an important decision.

No matter his love to his husband, he couldn’t bare the thought of losing the blonde, so he would find a way to have them both, to enjoyed them both and if that would land him in the depths of hell, he’ll learn to enjoy the fire and the slow burn of his soul.

* * *

It was 1:00am at night and Senku couldn’t sleep, he was resting his head on Xeno’s chest, feeling how it was rising and falling slowly; in the darkness their cuddles felt like everything was real, it was a silent way of the American saying _you matter to me._

The blonde wished the night could be endless so they could stay this closer for a longer time, his sleepy face was beautiful and Senku couldn’t resist kissing his barely parted lips; he was loving sleeping every night by his side.

Senku stretched out and reached for his phone on the bedside table, he was so lost and invested in his romance that he had hardly established communication with his friends and father; Tokyo was 13 hours ahead, it should be 2:00pm, a good hour to answer them.

Byakuya  
  
How’s everything going son? I miss you so much  
  
Everything’s great. I’ve been busy with classes and schoolwork, sorry for not being able to communicate as much.  
  
You know I miss you too.  
  
SENKU!! I’m so happy that you answer me. How’s Xeno treating you?  
  
  


Senku’s cheeks turned champagne pink by his father’s question. How he could possibly explain it?

Byakuya  
  
SENKU!! I’m so happy you answer me. How’s Xeno treating you?  
  
He’s only my teacher in one class, we don’t talk too much.  
  
Jajaja, if I remember Xeno, he’s not on the talkative type. When you can, send him my regards; it’s a possibility that one of these days I have to go to USA for a training in Houston, I could go to Boston to say hello and see you for a while.  
  
I miss you very much.  
  
That sounds fine. Call me if you’re here.  
  


_Yes, Xeno is treating me well, in fact right now I’m naked next to him in his husband’s bed, every night he takes care of me and at the same time I’m only able to pronounce his name over and over again._

He 10 billion percent couldn’t say that, he didn’t even know who to talked about his sudden situation, it was a secret and he was afraid of the sudden burden of carrying it alone.

It would be nice to see Byakuya, but in no way he’ll invite Xeno, even though they kept their love affair a secret at the university, he didn’t want to risk his dad in suspecting something; it was extremely dangerous.

Taiju  
  
Yuzuriha and I miss you, let’s talk on skype one of these days. Don’t forget about us. (ಥ﹏ಥ)  
  
Hi, big oaf. Sure, is next Monday okay for you?  
  
SENKUUU!!! YES!! What time? I’ll tell Yuzuriha  
  
At your 21:00pm, remember, on Monday.  
  
Awesome, I can’t wait. We have so much to talk about.  
  


Senku stared at the phone for a slight second, he didn’t know if it was good idea to tell Taiju about his recent relationship with Xeno. He sighed, it was hard having to deal with it alone; it was pretty obvious he and Yuzuriha wouldn’t approved.

They knew Xeno when he passed that semester abroad at his house, but the American never showed an interest in talking with them, he just silently waved hello and disappeared into his room. He was mysterious and reserved to himself, but Senku couldn’t avoid having that immense crush over him and that necessity to get to know him better.

What would his friends say about the love affair? He didn’t know of someone who would understand him or even approve what he was doing; the blonde looked at Xeno and brushed his fingers softly over his cheek, it was so hard to give up on this relationship, he wanted more. Perhaps he would get encouraged to tell them and accept the deserving scolding, it seemed better than continue being quiet about it.

He glared again at his phone and reread the last message, Tsukasa said he will have a fight tournament in Boston and would love to meet with him, the blushed intensified on his cheeks.

Tsukasa  
  
As soon as I have the date and times, I will inform you; I hope you can make me a place in your busy agenda.  
  
Of course we can meet. Send me your schedule and I’ll select my free days.  
  
I’m glad you reply. I can’t wait to see you again. Miss you  
  


Senku smiled reading those words, maybe if he hadn’t pursue his relationship with Xeno, he and Tsukasa’s relationship could have evolved into something unique, pure and romantic; it was hard breaking up with him, but it was the opportunity of his life to get to know if his long life crush will accept him.

Tsukasa never knew about his crush and intentions towards Xeno, another secret to add to his long list, he thought there was no point in explaining his deepest feelings.

That was the right decision, right? Right?

The blonde felt a sudden movement on the bed and in a blink of an eye he felt Xeno’s body on top of him, lips brushing, not in an innocent kind of way, but hot, fiery, passionate and demanding; Senku placed his hands on the American’s chest, trying to pull away before he’ll lose himself, but the lips were so soft and strong and the blonde could no longer think straight.

“Why aren’t you sleep?” Xeno whispered between kisses.

Senku smiled, his heart was pounding on his rising chest. “Byakuya texted me and I answered him.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, why?” He clasped his hands on Xeno’s cheeks. “Are you jealous of who’s texting me?”

The American smirked. “Of course not.” He kissed him softly. “But, if you’re awake, we better take advantage of the night.”

Senku didn’t answered, he just pulled himself against his lover’s body and deepened into another intense and breathtaking kiss; for now his heart belongs to Xeno as he had never seen the craze he was having in anybody else other than him.

_My morning starts with you, my evenings end with you, but for how long?_

* * *

The rest of the week passed and Senku felt more comfortable around the American, beside the love making, he was able to hug and cuddle him anytime he wanted; Xeno wasn’t very expressive, but when the blonde rested his head on his shoulder, out of the corner of his eye he could always saw a small smile barely forming; with each moment they savour the company of the other and felt a sense of peace that comes from feeling loved.

It was sweet, it was deep, it was love; a strange kind of love, but love after all.

On Saturday afternoon Senku asked if they could watch a movie, the American nodded and sat right beside him on the couch, arms crossed. “Which one?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” The blonde was browsing through Netflix’s movie sections. “Thriller, horror, comedy, romance…” he was saying each section out loud hoping his lover would pick one.

“I think a horror movie sounds nice.” He shrugged his arms and took the controller from the young one’s hand.

Senku arched an eyebrow. “You like that kind of movies?”

“Just some.” He clicked on the Alien movie and placed an arm on the blonde’s shoulder, puling him towards his body. “Scary movies help the body release dopamine and adrenaline.” He was brushing softly Senku’s shoulder. “Also, the physical contact barrier goes right out the window.”

“That just happen if I’m also scare.” He chuckled while looking directly at the American, black voids vs scattering lava. “You want me to get scare? You want to protect me?” He teased, but deep down was feeling aroused by Xeno’s words.

“I’ll just thought you wanted a reason to cuddle.” He smirked.

“I didn’t know that I had to have a reason to cuddle you.” Senku got closer to his lover’s body and cupped his face with both hands. “These last weeks you let me approach you in all the ways that I want.” And with those final words he closed the gap between their mouths in a tenderly kiss; Xeno’s lips were so sweet and addictive, he always had a linger taste of bourbon whisky.

Kissing Xeno was like tasting and feeling every color of the rainbow, in a special and sensual kind of way, to feel the softness of his lips, his dancing tongue and his teeth gently biting into his bottom lip; it was a promise of realness, something that tells them that they are connected within and just when Senku was starting to let himself go as he heard the gibberish of the movie, the front door opened abruptly and he felt how Xeno undo the hug, falling backwards onto the couch.

“I’m home.” A voice in English said, quick steps were approaching the living room and Senku’s heart was beating like crazy, was he really here? He was supposed to come home next week.

“Darling, you’re home.” He heard Xeno said as he saw him stood up from the couch, arms stretched out and instantly hugging a taller man, a man Senku had only saw on pictures but that his extremely beauty could be recognize everywhere; bright orbs as eyes, flawless skin, perfect pitch black thick lips. “You’re early, I didn’t expect you until next week.”

“I got bored in training the new snipers.” He said while placing his suitcase on the ground and gently lighting a cigarette. “They’re so bad at shooting targets and doesn’t understand the basic camouflage’s techniques.” Stanley held his husband’s chin and placed a sweet kiss on his lips, smearing him with a little bit of his lipstick. “Who’s he?” Eyes glaring at the blonde who was still sitting uncomfortable on the couch.

“Remember Byakuya?” Xeno asked.

“Your Japanese college tutor.”

The American nodded. “He’s his son, Ishigami Senku.” He signaled the blonde to come near them. “He’s in my theoretical physics class and stayed here some nights.” Stanley continued smoking his cigarette, listening carefully. “Senku enrolled late and had trouble finding a roommate, so his dad asked me to please see for him while his housing situation was solved.”

Senku couldn’t believe it, his lover was blatantly lying, without thinking, without stuttering, it was as if Xeno had already thought everything through; he felt a slight poke on the arm and saw the black eyes glaring at him. He sighed. “Nice to meet you.” Senku said while extending his right arm to Stanley, who loosely grabbed it. “Sensei was very nice to me, he helped me so much during these past weeks.”

A nausea swirled unrestrained in his empty stomach, his head already swimming with thoughts of regrets about his past decisions and his heart was having trouble keeping a steady beat, but all got worse when Stanley teasingly brushed his hair.

“I’m glad Xeno was so kind to you.” The sniper looked around the living room and saw the Alien movie playing on the background. “Did I interrupt something?”

The American chuckled. “None at all, Senku convinced me in watching this cheesy scary movie with him, we had nothing better to do.” He said while shrugging his shoulders.

“I see.” Stanley smiled and patted the blonde’s back. “Now brat, if you could excuse us, I would like to fuck my husband after all these weeks apart.” He continued smoking while saying so.

Senku was lost at words, he was having a hard time replying the tall one, everything was happening so fast, one minute he was deeply kissing Xeno and the second one his husband was telling him to leave them alone. His heartache was like an insatiable fire that continued burning all the oxygen in his body, he could barely contain the tears.

“Sure.” He almost whispered.

“You have where to stay, right?”

“Yes, his housing situation got solved yesterday at night, this was his last day in our home.” Xeno crossed his arms and his cheeks slightly blushed when he felt his husband’s arm around his waist. “Right?” He directly asked the blonde.

Senku nodded and with all his strength muttered his final words. “Thank you for everything, see you on class in Monday.”

“Your welcome, you can come pick up the rest of your stuff tomorrow or I’ll give them to you before class.”

The blonde waved them goodbye and quickly got our of their home, he started walking towards the university’s dorm rooms, since day one he got a place to stayed, but he only went to his dorm during the day to retrieved some clothes and stayed at Xeno’s. Now it hurt deeply to know that was now impossible.

The stars filled the sky, like a promise of life in the darkness, but this night he couldn’t enjoyed the sight as brightly tears where running. down his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tysm for reading it, I appreacite all your kudos and comments.  
> You can follow me on twitter for every fic update notice @Dainonico.


	5. Mercy On His Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stanley’s mouth tasted like mild tobacco with a hint of vanilla, it was his favorite brand and Xeno learned to love it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Chapter 5, we're still aboard the angst train.  
> Special thanks to Rohei for sharing this pretty idea with me and for helping me in every step of the fic development.

Stanley’s mouth tasted like mild tobacco with a hint of vanilla, it was his favorite brand and Xeno learned to love it; they quickly moved to their room and the American was so glad he made the bed that morning, hoping there was no trace of Senku in their sacred place.

They were getting rid of the clothes between kisses, he really missed his husband and maybe it was hypocritical of him to think about it, but even though what he had with Senku was special, Stanley was his Stanley.

The soft gentle kisses quickly became hard and desperate ones, brief brushes of their lips that led to their opening mouths, kisses that seemed could go on for hours, he was enjoying every touch and every taste, the slant of his mouth, the softness of his wild tongue, his fingers desperately tracing his back and the shape of his body on top of him.

“You’ve got an awfully kissable mouth.” Stanley said while tracing one finger across his husband’s now swollen lips.

“Then don’t stop.”

Stanley leaned and brushed their lips together, Xeno was sure he was going to continue kissing him, he could feel his warm breath against his skin; he sighed and looked deeply at those blue eyes that were touched by storm clouds, the American was melting by the raw emotions his husband was pouring onto him, it was making him feel guilty and incredibly aroused at the same time.

Before Xeno could unite their lips into another incredible kiss, Stanley turned him over and raised his hips, he suddenly gasped at the feeling of a cold liquid teasing his muscle ring.

“I’m sorry my darling.” Stanley said while tossing the lube bottle on the mattress. “It has been more than two weeks, I’m kind of desperate here.” He was inserting one finger inside and groaned in delight by noticing how tight his husband was. “You didn’t even touch yourself.” He slapped one round melon, leaving a slight pink mark. “Were you waiting for me?”

Xeno was desperately moaning, the finger wasn’t enough, he needed more inside him. “Of course.” He said while moving back his hips in a slight attempt of feeling the finger deep inside.

Stanley chuckled and introduced a second one, sliding both fingers in and out, it was lovely to see how the American’s body was trembling by his touch and how a symphony of his low moans had just started; the sniper was trying to stretch his man a little bit more and Xeno’s body was quickly heating up from the slight teases and touches, but he needed more.

“S-Stan…” he gasped when feeling the fingers scissoring inside him, it was good, but it wasn’t enough. “Fuck me already.”

“Eager much?”

“I’m always impatient with you.”

“It can’t be helped it, then.” The sniper removed the fingers and Xeno moaned at the sudden feeling of emptiness, he positioned his already throbbing cock at the cleft of the pink void and slowly pushed it inside.

The American let out screams of utterly pleasure, his hole was clenching and anxiously receiving all the pretty manhood his husband had to offer; he lost balance and fall face first into the sheets and then he smelled it, the sweet aroma of Senku still lingering into their bed.

His heart was pounding, like trying to escape from the prison that was his chest, the lovely scent of freshly ground coffee, it was nutty, smoky and herby at the same time, making his head go dizzy; Xeno now couldn’t stop picturing his lover moaning his name, he was in the same position Senku was the night before and it was too much to take into.

Xeno looked behind his shuddering shoulder, he wanted to see and to think only about his husband, just for this moment; no artist could ever immortalized how gorgeous and beautiful Stanley was, how his blue eyes resembled wild shocking waves, his shiny almost marbled like skin and his white hair moving back and forth alongside his continuous movements; Stanley looked radiant like a Greek God of a legend and the American couldn’t believe now everything that he had done in the past weeks.

It was a sin, he made the decision to commit it and lie to his husband’s face, it felt like for the first time in his life Xeno had put his desires first and loose against all ration and conscience, but he still wanted to continue seeing the blonde, he was like an unstoppable monster right now; Stanley rock his hips harder and Xeno stopped thinking about it and that was what he really wanted, to erased all past memories and just enjoyed this moment.

“Turn me over…” he almost whispered but Stanley surely heard him.

The sniper pulled out, quickly lifted and sat him on his lap, Xeno instinctively wrapped his arms around his husband’s neck and met him in and intimate kiss, pressing their lips together.

Xeno closed his eyes, relaxing with the tobacco taste and trying to forget about the coffee scent, and shivered with the touch of the sniper’s fingers touching ever inch of his skin, spreading his legs wide open and caressing his thighs: Stanley positioned his cock just underneath and once again pushed it into the moist hot cavern and the American moaned loudly into their lips.

“Move.” His husband command and Xeno couldn’t do more than to obey.

“But don’t stop kissing me.” He said, framing his beautiful doll like face with his hands and the sniper nodded at the petition.

They continue moving at an incredible loving rhythm, Stanley was holding him by the waist and Xeno mas moving his hips up and down, thrusting himself into the hot swollen cock of his husband, without being able to separate their lips, precum was slowly dripping out of his own neglected cock and then he started remembering those long nights when they used to lie under the cold, frozen but shiny stars, cuddling into each other’s arms while he talked about the space and Stanley just listened to him.

That was why they were together, Stanley was always there for him, he even patiently waited for him when he went to Japan four years ago to study abroad, and the day his plane landed, the sniper was waiting for him at the airport’s entrance with a box of chocolates that he didn’t even liked but fell more in love by his romantic attempt.

Xeno felt something wet on his face and for a slight second thought that maybe it was raining, he broke from the kiss and touched his face, continuous tears were pouring down and he didn’t want to understand why, he just sob-moan and pulled their bodies closer together with his arms once again around his husband’s neck.

“What happened?” Stanley asked, he still was thrusting into him but now at a slow rhythm, his fingers were softly brushing the American’s hair.

Xeno shook his head. “It’s nothing, keep going.”

The sniper lifted his love’s chin and glared him directly at his eyes. “It’s weird for you to get that emotional.”

The American sighed, he needed to tell him something. “I just missed you so much, that’s all.” He wiggled his hips, trying to feel deeper inside the cock, a cute moan escaped from his parted mouth when his husband’s cock started again hitting in all his sweet spots.

“You’re so cheesy, darling.” Stanley chuckled, but after knowing Xeno was fine, he started thrusting into him harder. “You’re so tight, I love it.” He groaned at the feel of the tight heat that was surrounding his throbbing cock, it was almost magical, and he also missed him so much, but didn’t have the courage to said it.

How can Xeno explained that he was crying because he had cheated for several weeks? That it felt extremely good to possess and kiss another body, that he screamed another name for continuous nights and the worst of all, that he didn’t plan to stop.

The love making continued, his legs were trembling and getting tired of lifting and lowering himself up, but riding his husband’s cock was the best feeling of the world as it made his mind spin around endlessly; a bubbling sensation was invading his body, he knew it was a matter of time before he could reached his orgasm.

“Stan...” he muttered between thrusts. “Help me…touch me…”

The sniper was never capable of resisting his husband’s lovely blushed pink face, it was cute to admire his burning cheeks, his brightly dark orbs and his parted swollen lips while asking for release.

“Roger that.” Stanley changed their positions, he quickly lay his husband’s back on the mattress, raised one of his long soft legs and rock his hips harder, brushing his cock against his prostate and with his free hand he began stroking up and down his precum dripping cock.

Xeno grabbed at the sheets desperately, it was too much, it was too deep, he let out a strangled moan and arched his back at the new and intense sensation. “It feels…so g-good.” He tried to say between love sounds.

“Come for me, darling.”

The mentioning of his pet name was the last touched he needed to come fully, a long strip of dazzling stars scattered on his chest, and as he was panting for air he moan loudly when Stanley came inside him as he eagerly clenched his pink void to help him milk inside.

The sniper pulled himself out and cum began dripping down his white thighs, he was feeling so full inside and happy to be with him; they lay side by side on the mattress and Stanley took one blanket and covered their naked bodies. Xeno quickly drew in closer and placed his open hand on his husband’s chest, he loved the hearing of his steady breathing.

Stanley lit up a cigarette and immediately the room was invaded by that characteristic scent. “That brat…” he said while exhaling some of the white smoke. “Where did he sleep?”

“In the guest room.” He immediately answered.

“I see…”

“Why did you ask?”

Stanley chuckled and puffed another blow of smoke. “He stared a lot at you.”

“So?”

“It felt like he had a crush on you.”

Xeno looked up and cupped his hands at his husband’s face, he gently brushed their lips together, savouring the strong smoked scented mouth, and then he pulled apart and smile. “That would be weird, specially since I’m his teacher.”

The American kissed his husband in a vain attempt to stop his questions, he knew perfectly ever inch of their loving relationship, the passion, the feelings, the love, everything. Xeno loved Stanley so dearly, he was his one and true love, he remembered what he’d meant to him since the very beginning, how strong the love felt then, and what it was missing right now.

If there existed a God, Xeno was asking for him to have mercy on his soul, because he knew he wasn’t longer welcomed into paradise. 

* * *

Senku was standing right in front of his dorm room, he was wiping his tears with the long sleeve of his hoodie and deeply sighed before turning the knob and getting inside.

“Yo! Senku!” Chrome said when seeing the blonde, he was laying on his bed watching a movie on the laptop. “What a surprise; I didn’t expect to see you here today.”

The blonde forced a tiny smile on his lips, removed his shoes and threw himself on his bed. “I’m a bit tired, I’m gonna sleep now.”

“What? Are you sleeping here?!”

“Yes Chrome.” He said with an exasperated tone while hugging one of the pillows and curling himself. “It’s my dorm room too, of course I’m going to sleep here.”

“Man, that’s not what I meant, it’s just that…”

“It’s just that what? If you don’t like me as your roommate, I can ask to change dorm rooms.” Senku was extremely tired, angry and sad at the same time, but even though he knew it wasn’t Chrome’s fault, he couldn’t avoid getting mad at him for asking those questions; he wanted to cry himself to sleep as he was feeling smaller and smaller for being so dumb.

Chrome closed his lap and sat on the edge of his bed while glaring at his roommate, he didn’t know him well as this was the first time they had a long conversation; he was getting used to have the room by himself since the semester started, but right now was feeling glad that Senku was finally sharing the room with him.

“Don’t get me wrong.” Chrome said, trying to find the words to approached him as he instantly noticed something happened to his roommate. “I was just surprise; I think this is the first time you’re sleeping here.”

Senku sighed and hugged tighter the pillow. “Since today I’m going to start sleeping here.”

“That’s great” The brunette was smiling and scratching the back of his head. “Hope we could get along for the rest of the semester.”

“Me too.”

“Hey, listen.” He was feeling nervous around him as he wanted to help but didn’t know how. “Are you hungry? We could go grab something to eat and get to know better each other.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Are you alright?” Chrome finally asked, he couldn’t bare the thought of ignoring his roommate’s feelings.

Senku eyes got wide open at the sudden question, his hands were clutching at the pillow as he was trying to avoid in vain the pearl-shaped tears that were rolling down his face, he didn’t want to talk about, his thoughts were rambling and was desperate to fall asleep and maybe forget about what happened today.

When the blonde didn’t answer, Chrome continue insisting. “I know we don’t know each other.” He was playing nervously with the tip of his fingers and now was feeling bad because his question was making his roommate cry. “So, you can tell me why you are sad, and I won’t judge”

“It’s complicated…” Senku hated to mutter those cliché words, but deep down was a bit glad that an opportunity to talk about his strange relationship had opened before him, maybe it was better to confess to his roommate than to his best friends.

“I’m all ears.”

The blonde sat down on the bed and wiped away his tears, a slight cute pink blushed was adorning his cheeks, he glared directly at the brunette’s eyes and felt instantly a bit better, the best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them, so he opened his mouth and started singing.

“It’s a relationship problem.”

“Girlfriend?”

Senku shook his head side to side in a silently no.

“Boyfriend?”

“If you could call it a boyfriend.” He answered with a sad chuckle.

Chrome was slightly happy, he wanted his roommate to feel comfortable with his presence, to cast away the shyness and the awkwardness, when someone is in need of help the best thing the brunette could do was to give them a special piece of advice or a hearing friend.

“So, then what it is? A friend? A crush?”

Senku bit his lower lip, was he really going to said it out loud? His heart was screaming at him to tell someone about his difficult situation. “A lover.” He said while avoiding the glare of his roommate, maybe it was a stupid decision to trust him so early.

Chrome’s face got a slight cute blush, he didn’t expect it but now he couldn’t back down. “So, you were staying at your lover’s place?” He shyly asked. “I won’t ask who he is, though. Don’t worry.”

“Yes, he was letting me spend the night with him…” The blonde took a deep breath. “Until his husband came home today.”

“So...”

“Yes.” Senku hide his face between both hands, tears were coming down again and he didn’t want to face his roommate. “I don’t want to get into details, please.” His throat was hurting as if he had stuck a knot that was preventing him from freely breathing. “I know is wrong, I know I’m a horrible person, but…” His crimson eyes were dripping with tears and the walls that once used to hold him, that make him feel strong, were now slowly collapsing. “But I think I love him so much.” Senku was trembling, he couldn’t stop and was embarrassing for him to be crying like that in front of Chrome, a guy he barely knew.

Chrome stood up and silently walked the five steps and sat on his roommate’s bed, he wrapped both his arms on the blonde’s shoulders and pressed his face to his chest. “Cry it all out.” He said while gently brushing one hand up and down Senku’s back.

It was a weird feeling, but it sure felt nice, to be able to cry like that with someone and even though he didn’t want to tell Chrome the whole story, with just those words he understood everything.

They stayed like that for a while longer, until Senku felt better and the tears slowly stopped coming out, he just sobbed in his roommate’s chest and was embarrassed by that, but he was glad to have him by his side.

“Thank you.” The blonde said while letting go of the embrace, he stood up and looked in his closet for a clean t-shirt, which he passed to Chrome. “Here, I’m sorry I drenched yours.”

“Don’t mention it.” The brunette answered, he took off the tear stained shirt and quickly changed. “Love is difficult.” Chrome continued before Senku could say something. “But you should fall in love with someone that doesn’t make you think that love is hard.”

The blonde hugged himself and tried to gently smile at his friend. “I know, it’s just that…”

Chrome nodded and stood up, patting the blonde’s shoulder. “It’s fine, you can’t control who you fall in love with.” The brunette was walking towards the door and looked at Senku from behind his shoulder. “It’s Saturday nigh and I’m hungry, I’ll go grab some ramen at a place near here, wanna come?”

“Sure.”

The blonde smiled genuinely sweet and followed his roommate, when they were walking down the stairs Chrome paused and said. “We can talk about everything, not only your love problems.”

They continue walking and Senku felt the cold breeze of the night playing with his hair, it sure felt nice and even though it was the same night that a few hours before had seen him cry, he somehow felt a bit relieved of sharing a part of his inner thoughts; it seems this was the start of a strong friendship.

“I would like that.” He chuckled. “I can also listen to your love problems.”

Chrome’s face turned a cute tone of pastel pink as he was brushing his own hair. “Well, there’s this girl…”

* * *

It was almost 3:00am when Xeno’s vibrating phone woke him up, he reached for it at the night stand table and blinked several times, uncomfortable by the bright screen.

Dr Stone  
  
Can we talk?  
  


Xeno turned off the phone and continue to lay on the bed with his eyes opened, he turned his body over and saw the sleepy figure of his husband, he caressed his strong chest with one hand and sighed; the American loved Stanley deeply, but his feelings for Senku weren’t going to leave him so easily.

He curled beside Stanley, trying to force himself to sleep, Xeno was having trouble thinking straight, he wanted both but new it was an impossible wish.

Was he sabotaging their future together? He didn’t know and he didn’t care to know at the moment, he just wanted to be with Senku one more time.

* * *

Can we talk?  
  
**Read** 3:05 AM

Senku was hurt by not receiving an answer from Xeno, and he glared for some minutes at the “read” message, but just when he finally decided to fall asleep, someone caught his attention.

Tsukasa  
  
Why are you up? It's pretty late on your side of the world.  
  
I kept myself awake finishing some essays.  
  


He lied.

Tsukasa  
  
Are you going to sleep now?  
  
No if you have something interesting to say.  
  
I was just relaxing at home and watching some Doraemon.  
  
Which episode?  
  


And they talked all Senku’s night and all Tsukasa’s day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can follow me on twitter for every fic update notice @Dainonico.


	6. The Unthinkable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do you know what it’s like to want it, even though you know it’s wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! Welcome to chapter 6, I'm sorry I took a little more time in uploading it but it was in order for prepared a better angst!!!  
> Tysm for continue reading it, I deeply appreciate all your kudos and comments

I haven't heard from you  
  
**Read** 8:48 AM Are we over?  
  
**Read** 2:15 PM Ok fine. Don't answer me.  
  
**Read** 7:36 PM

It was Sunday afternoon and still Xeno hadn’t answer any message Senku had sent him; the blonde felt bad as if he didn’t matter, as if all those nights they spent together were now meaningless.

The blonde was really suffering the consequences of his unwise actions, why did it occurred to him that it was a good idea to maintain a love affair with a married man? It was obvious the husband was going to come back and break the illusion at any time.

Xeno’s touches, kisses and caress were like an addiction to him, as an hallucinogenic dose that he never dared to admit he deeply wanted, but their affair was like a an exciting rollercoaster, an emotional speedball and a thunderous love, and Senku was now craving that intense attention from his teacher, with a hungry obsession like any simple junkie.

Seeing the unanswered text messages were deeply hurting his heart and he didn’t want to cry next to Chrome, his friend didn’t deserved to attend and mend every broken piece of his heart, but his head was swimming with half-formed regrets; Senku had to see Xeno at class on Monday and pretend that everything was fine between them, because it was a secret, no one but them should know of their relationship, that’s if there was still something to call it a relationship.

He could stay the rest of the Sunday crying for an impossible love, but his cellphone vibrated constantly and Senku smiled just by taking it out and reading the incoming messages.

Tsukasa  
  
Sunday is my rest day, until tomorrow I'll continue my training sessions.  
  
You sure are working hard.  
  
Of course, the fight tournament on Boston is an important one. I can get more sponsors  
  
I'm sure you will get them, you're one of the best fighters I know.  
  
You know another fighter?  
  


Senku was goofily smiling while texting him, it had always been very east to talk to Tsukasa and let himself loose in their conversations; a part of his heart was wondering, what would have happened if he hadn’t decided to change countries? If he wasn’t so invested in Xeno…maybe their blooming relationship could have evolved into something beautiful and normal.

Tsukasa  
  
You know what I mean  
  
I know, I'm teasing you.  
  
Listen...  
  
I can't listen, I'm reading the texts.  
  
😳😳Maybe here is not the best place to write it...  
  
🤔?  
  
Senku, I really miss you.  
  


Senku’s heart started pounding like crazy, those written words were meaning something important to him and maybe he also was missing Tsukasa, because the blonde was missing a special part of him that he shared with the brunette on his las year of high school; he felt normal and that love was possible, that he didn’t had to hide and scream his feelings to the universe, but all that time Xeno was still swirling in his mind and he couldn’t let it go.

And even after breaking everything up and for him to seek a love affair, Tsukasa still wrote that he “miss him”, did he really deserved that pure affection?

By missing Tsukasa, Senku was also missing how the brunette made him feel, so loved, so appreciated and so cared; so he decided to type an answer.

Tsukasa  
  
I miss you too...  
  
🦁❤️  
  
The tournament is on September 11, it's a Friday.  
  
Got it, I'll write it on my agenda and I'll go see you.  
  
You will go?  
  


Senku chuckled, wasn’t it an obvious invitation?

Tsukasa  
  
Of course, I won't missed it.  
  
I'm buying the plane ticket, should I arrive on September 4  
  
That's a week before the fight.  
  
I know  
  


The blonde’s cheeks were turning a slight cute pink tone as his heart continue pounding inside his chest, he was feeling again like when they started dating, unsure, nervous and excited at the same time.

Tsukasa  
  
I'll love to see you and spend some time with you. Is that ok?  
  
Sure, I'll love that.  
  
I can't wait to see you again.  
  
Me too, I'm excited.  
  


The blonde was really excited, and he could almost start jumping on the bed, but then Xeno’s face appeared once again inside his head and sighed, he really missed him and was wondering why he didn’t even deserve an answer.

“What’s wrong?” Chrome asked.

“Why you asked?”

“You’re changing moods.” The brunette giggled. “You looked very happy while texting and now it seems you want to cry again.” He was on his side of the room typing an essay that was due for Sunday’s midnight, but he couldn’t stop glaring at his roommate once in a while.

Senku sighed deeply and let himself fall backwards on his bed. “It’s complicated.”

“You know you can tell me.” Chrome closed his laptop; he could take a little break. “Does your mysterious man finally answered you?”

“No.”

The brunette arched an eyebrow and hum. “So, who did you text?”

Senku smiled, there was something about Chrome that inspired him an immediate confidence. “My…ex-boyfriend.” He muttered.

“What?”

“I know.” The blonde was rubbing his face with both hands. “He’s in Japan and I broke up with him to come study here…and…” he sighed. “And he’s coming on September and wants to see me.”

“That’s great isn’t it?”

“Well yes, but...”

“But you’re still thinking about your lover, right?” Chrome brushed his own hair and sat and twisted his mouth.

“How can I stop thinking about him when only one day has passed?”

“You’re right, but you sure had looked at yourself.” Senku arched an eyebrow when hearing that comment. “You were truly smiling when texting the other guy and now you’re sad by thinking on your lover.”

Senku sighed again, he was feeling desperate and truly without not knowing what to do, if pain must come now, please let it come quick, because Tsukasa was coming his way and he had a life to live and not start suffering for a married man; he was scared but maybe it was time to make a choice.

The blonde decided to wait until Monday and see what would happen when meeting Xeno during class, because he will either wait a little bit for him or entirely forget him.

Senku knew Xeno was with Stanley right now, but it sure didn’t feel fair to be completely left out of the equation without them talking about it first 

* * *

Stanley was holding tight Xeno’s bruised hips, thrusting harder into his abused pink void while sucking on his chest and leaving red marks all around it; the American had an arm covering his tired dark orbs and was moaning helplessly with every sweet movement of his husband.

They hadn’t left their bedroom since Stanley got home, dancing every possible song on their bedsheets, with every gesture, every caress, every touch and every glance the sniper gave him Xeno felt like dying and being in heaven; his husband knew every secret to wake up his body and to bring happiness to his inner self, it was a celebration of their love and the American couldn’t get enough.

He hadn’t even charged his phone, the battery had run out and for that weekend there was nothing more important that could catch his attention; the sheets no longer smell like him and even though Xeno missed it, he was grateful that he could be hopelessly devoted to his husband.

“Darling…”

Xeno’s body shivered with the mentioning of his pet name, he felt so vulnerable and wanted every bit of affection from his husband.

“Look at me, darling.”

The American removed his arm and stare at his husband’s beautiful face, his eyes shine with a strong passion in ice and Xeno loved it, loved them, he cupped both hands on the sniper’s face and unite their lips in one of their trendy eternal kisses.

Even on their first meeting at high school Xeno knew that Stanley would be his friend for life, he didn’t know that their love could be so strong and that they would end up marrying each other; it was like a dream come true that the most popular guy on school set his eyes on the science nerd.

Stanley was thrusting harder and faster and their kiss turn from sweet to savage, as it was their primal instinct to devour each other’s mouths, the sniper was matching his husband’s movements with his lips, tongue and teeth and capturing every sigh and every moan with his mouth.

After several intense moments of their sensual battle, the American wrapped his legs around his husband’s body, trying to feel him deeper inside, his pink void was clenching desperately the sniper’s hard cock; Xeno was sweating profusely and moving his legs at the thrusts rhythm, his ass was wet with lube and cum and occasionally quivered.

Stanley broke for a moment the kiss and looked into the black orbs that were sucking his soul. “Darling.” He kissed his puffy pink cheek. “Darling, you’re so perfect.”

“Stan...” Xeno felt like crying again, he was feeling incredible but so guilty at the same time, but before he could said anything, he moaned louder when feeling his husband’s cock just touching his prostate and a stream of pearls touched both of their chests.

The pink abyss clamped around Stanley’s cock and he groaned louder, rocking his hips one last time before milking all his seed inside, Xeno hum at the feeling of the warm liquid invading his body for the millionth time that weekend.

The sniper pulled out and a flood of cum came pouring down the American’s hole, wetting his thighs completely. “I need a smoke.” He said while standing up and walking completely naked out of their room.

Xeno stayed lay on their bed, panting for air, his body was hurting for all the intense physical activity they had been doing for hours on end; he looked up at the ceiling and try to sway away his thoughts, why was it that after every orgasm he would think about Senku?

Even with all the effort he made to ignore him, when Senku kissed him for the first time it was like the gates of hell open before him, he knew he needed to escape and fled the country without saying goodbye, but the blonde looked for him after four years and stubbornly became his lover and the worst part was the Xeno was loving it.

Before, Stanley was the first and only person that had access to his body, but now Senku knew him too, just in a totally different way where the American had the absolute control; Xeno had to be careful of love as it’ll continue to twist his brain around and leave him thinking that up is down and right is wrong.

Stanley returned and stand on the door frame while puffing out the smoke. “Ready for another round, darling?”

Xeno smiled and lifted his arms like asking for his husband’s touch; he needed the sniper to make him forget about his little lover, even if it was only for that magical weekend, because on Monday he would have to see Senku again and the American didn’t know what his heart and body were capable of doing.

The American was sleeping and waking up with his student’s picture in his mind, Xeno missed him but sure couldn’t say it.

* * *

On Monday morning Senku sat on his desk and heavily sighed when he glanced at Xeno on the front of the classroom, their eyes immediately met but neither of them could articulate a word outside the class theme; for now physics was their only vocabulary and the blonde didn’t felt like interacting during the two hour session.

“The conversation law states that a particular measurable property of an isolated physical system does not change as the system evolves over time.” Xeno said while writing his explanation on the white board, if wasn’t normal for him to write everything, but he didn’t feel like facing his students and more importantly, he didn’t feel like loosing himself on those shiny crimson eyes.

The two hours sure felt eternal for both of them and when the bell rang by the moment Xeno turned around, Senku wasn’t on his desk anymore; he quickly grabbed his portfolio and walked with quick steps in search of the blonde.

Senku wanted to get away from the class as soon as possible, his teacher didn’t respond any of his text messages and his intense heartache was keeping him from breathing normally; he climbed the stairs and entered into the third-floor restroom.

All the reasons of why his love affair was wrong came flooding in as he was rinsing his face in a vain attempt to stop the tears from coming out, he surely felt how a soft panic was growing inside him while thinking. _“It will fade if I back away, it will fade if I back away._ ” But then his lips tremble by the thought of having to do this all over again, to sit the next day and the next day on Xeno’s classroom and being totally ignored by him.

The bathroom door suddenly opened with a loud thud and Senku gasped when he saw at the American standing just on the door frame, black met red and in a blink of an eye, the blonde felt a tight embraced and some sweet lips brushing against his.

Senku couldn’t believe it and held tighter into his lover’s body, sharing once again one kiss and one breath, the kiss came out of nowhere, and tears began falling down the blonde’s pink cheeks as he felt the American’s hand clasping gently into the back of his hair, pressing in softly.

The blonde shyly parted his mouth and Xeno accepted the invitation by sliding his tongue inside, loving the taste of strong coffee but loving more that Senku couldn’t resist putting his arms around his shoulders; their tongues touched and both felt like floating among the universe as if they were completely alone.

After a few seconds they broke the kiss and smiled.

“What was that?” Senku asked, he couldn’t believe it and his heart was pounding uncontrollably inside his chest.

“A kiss, dumbass.” Xeno said while caressing the soft cheek of his little lover. “I just had to do that; I couldn’t resist.”

“You didn’t answer my texts…”

“I couldn’t.”

“Because you were…”

“Yes.”

Senku could thank the universe every day for the opportunity to lose himself into those deep black eyes as they reflect the beauty of the night and the reflection of tiny shiny stars. “Then…” The blonde was holding his lover tighter. “What would happen with…us?”

Xeno’s hands began caressing the blonde’s back, even going beneath the shirt to touch his silky-smooth skin. “We can continue were we left.”

“What about Stanley?” Senku didn’t really want to say his name, but it was necessarily to know everything beforehand.

“He doesn’t have to know…” Xeno lifted with two fingers the blonde’s chin. “He didn’t know before; he doesn’t have to know now.” He got his face as near as possible, they were inches apart from each other’s lips. “I tried, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“I couldn’t stop either.”

“Then, let’s be together.”

“How?”

“Right here, right now.” And Xeno kissed him again while pushing him into one of the stalls, locking the door behind them.

“Now?” Senku asked without letting go, his glazed eyes were staring at the American without believing what was happening, he was just getting used to the idea of them not being able to continue seeing each other, but his body was already used to his teacher’s touches and caress that it was only natural to let himself go.

Hardly anyone walked through the third floor, it was an area reserved for conferences and long sessions, Xeno hoped to have luck at that time and that there wasn’t something scheduled that could ruin their moment.

The passionate kisses continued, the American was gently sucking at the blonde’s tongue, rasping the end with his own; both were unzipping each other’s shirt and just when Xeno slid down the blonde’s shirt, exposing his beautiful shoulders and chest, Senku gasped and stopped his hands movements.

“What’s wrong?” The American whispered.

“Your chest…” Senku took a step back and stumbled against the toilet seat, he knew it was possible, he knew it was obvious, but seeing and realizing how truth it was, was hurting him deeply.

The blonde could hardly blame him, and wild thoughts were running around his mind, were they ruining each other by being together? Xeno’s chest was completely marked by Stanley, the hickeys were shinning proudly on his skin as a reminder that his husband exist, that they existed as a couple and Senku was the one meddling into their dynamic.

Xeno touched his own chest softly. “You don’t have to look at them.”

“There everywhere…”

The American sighed and turned over his lover’s body and quickly pulled down his black jeans and underwear, he didn't want Senku to stop or have regrets because of the love marks; the blonde gasped by the feeling of being completely exposed, but his own body was commanding him to bend over the toilet seat. 

Xeno got on his knees and spread open the blonde’s ass cheeks to stare at the lovely pink void, although just a short time had passed, he sure missed it; the American started licking the blonde’s taint and he chuckled when feeling the other’s body was trembling by his touch.

He was slowly licking its way down to the eager void, his tongue was circling around the rim of muscles and soft moans started escaping from Senku’s mouth. “Try to be quiet, someone could hear you.”

“D-don’t you mean us?” The blonde was trying to keep his hips up, but his legs were shaking, he was supporting his whole weight with his open palm hands on the toilet’s seat.

“I’m not that one making sounds.” The American teased while licking and kissing the hole, he let his tongue play inside, savouring every inch and every throbbing muscle, he was activating all of Senku’s nerves and just when he could sense his lover was about to loudly moan, Xeno would give him shivers by resting his tongue and blowing his hot breath against the pink void.

Xeno continue licking and curling his tongue inside the cavity and just when he felt it was wet enough, he stood up and unzip his pants, letting out his hard member; the American positioned himself behind Senku and started sliding his cock inside the tight cavern and biting his own lips while trying to stop the moans that wanted to escape his mouth.

It felt great, the tightness and warmth around his cock was making him crazy, the blonde sure was provoking him to feel totally different things than we he was with Stanley, he wanted both, dammit.

“Pl-Please move.” Senku said, tears were slowly running down his cheeks as he was struggling to understand what was happening with him; the blonde knew it was totally and completely wrong but he couldn’t help but feel love and attraction to Xeno. His heart was dancing with an immense happiness of being able to make love to him again, even if they were sneaking in the university bathroom like two high school lovebirds.

Xeno began thrusting while holding himself onto the blonde’s love handles, seeing his cock disappear into the soft and plushy cheeks; both of them were in an intoxicated dance where the music had to be shut down.

A warm wave of intense pleasure was invading both of their bodies, it was a strong connection that they longed for that day apart, and even though Xeno didn’t stop making love to his husband, he also couldn’t help but think when would be the next time he could be with his lover.

“I missed you.” He said between thrusts.

“What?” The blonde asked, did he really say that? Wasn’t he dreaming? Xeno missed him.

“You cannot imagine how much I miss you; I miss this.”

“Only one day passed.”

“I know…but I…” Xeno didn’t know what to say, even in his mouth it sounded absurd, what was he going to say? That he became addicted to his student’s body?

“I want to see you.” The American didn’t answer and just pulled out of the warm cavity, the blonde turned around and wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him into a needy kiss; Senku’s exterior was showing a hidden power and boldness. “I can’t believe you say you missed me.”

“It’s the true.”

“I love the true.” Senku was kissing a man he knew he couldn’t breath without, it was as if the American was oxygen and he was dying to breath. “Sit on the floor.”

Xeno was loving this new part of the blonde, to see him so sure about himself and about his needs, so he did as told, and sat on the cold restroom floor with his back against the stall door.

Senku immediately pushed himself into the hard cock and moaned loudly, not caring anymore if anyone heard them; the blonde started moving his hips up and down, loosing himself into the American’s lips, kissing eternally and not knowing when one kiss ended and when the next one started. “I miss you too.” He gasped, feeling how the cock was touching every sweet spot inside him.

Both were on the lowest of all desires, it was a degrading need and even though right now Senku didn’t want anyone but Xeno, he had decided to leave his mark on his lover’s abused body, so he broke the kiss and while thrusting himself harder, he approached his swollen lips to the American’s sweaty neck and desperately started sucking on it.

Xeno gasped but he couldn’t stop him, the tightness around his cock was feeling amazing and he didn’t care now about the unthinkable; Senku was sucking him in for everything that he has.

Xeno have never wanted anyone but Stanley…but now he knew how Senku’s body was like…

Do you know what it’s like to want it, even though you know it’s wrong?

And as they continued to fuck into each other with the promise of continuing their forbidden romance, Senku’s phone was vibrating inside his jean’s pocket.

Tsukasa  
  
I really love talking with you.💖  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can follow me on twitter for every fic update notice @Dainonico.


	7. Hickey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well yeah, you leaved a trace of hickey’s all around my body.” He teasingly smiled at him. “Of course it’s a hickey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! Welcome to chapter 7, tysm for continue reading the story.

Senku was a mess, he was dying inside and couldn’t stop moving his hips up and down, Xeno’s cock felt like it was twice its size, his hands were shaking and every time he moved a loud moan escaped from his swollen red lips. The blonde didn’t want the American to know how close he was, just from the excitement, he could close his eyes and silently orgasmed.

“You missed me?” He asked, barely breathing with every self-thrust.

Xeno was sucking one pink nipple and twisting the other one, losing himself into his second favorite body, it was beautiful, unforgettable, and utterly addictive; he let go of the nipple and looked into the crimson eyes. “I miss you everyday.”

“Then, we should see each other more often…”

“You know I can’t.”

“But…”

“Shh…” Xeno traced his middle finger on the blonde’s lips. “Let’s enjoy our time together and worry later about the future.”

“Kiss me?”

“You don’t have to ask…just do it.” The American grabbed some of the blonde’s messy hair and pulled it in into a kiss.

Xeno’s kisses always seemed to go on for hours, soft gentle kisses that quickly turned into hard and desperate ones; they were together in this madness, after their restroom reunion they ran towards the nearest hotel and got rid of every sort of fabric that was getting in their way.

Only one day had passed but they were completely addict to each other, both felt an intense heartache when not being together as one, because their bodies remembered everything, the way they tasted, the slant of their mouths, the movements of their limbs and the shape of their bodies.

The hotel where they were wasn’t the most romantic in the world, but it had a comforting fragrance swirling around the room, like lemongrass with coconut; the sky blue sheets were tangling between the blonde’s legs and Senku could see through the window how the sunlight was dimming and the weak moonlight began to illuminate their sinful silhouettes.

Senku was tired but that didn’t stop him from continuing receiving Xeno’s cock into his now swollen pink void; every few minutes they swift positions, trying to find the perfect combination and for the blonde to feel his lover deeper inside; the blonde leaned his head back when the American finally touched his sweet spot, getting thrills and feeling how his hole was clenching around his lover’s cock.

“I-I’m almost there.” He gasped while wrapping his arms around Xeno’s neck. “Please…I’m feeling…too much.”

Xeno smiled and rocked his hips, thrusting harder and faster while mixing their love sounds, he wanted to please him, with every sound, with every touch, with every brush of their lips, and as their lips were meeting and their hands were sloppy touching every inch of skin, a tickling and bubbling sensation formed on Xeno’s groin and he moaned while biting the blonde’s bottom lip, pouring deep inside his seed.

Senku followed him by arching his back and scattering their chests with a shiny string of white pearls; both fell into the bed while their lungs were looking for a slight of air to breath normally.

The blonde tried to cuddle with him, resting his head over his lover’s chest, it was calmly to hear him breath. “I’m going to miss sleeping with you.”

“It’s not like we used to sleep together before.”

Senku pouted. “I know…but still…” He was tracing circles on Xeno’s sweaty chest, it hurt so deeply to know they had to leave this safe space and go to their different destinies. “What will happen to us?”

Xeno sighed and brushed gently his lover’s blonde locks. “We can continue seeing each other like this…” He thought his words for a second before saying them. “And when Stanley leaves for work…you can return and sleep by my side.” The American couldn’t believe how selfish he sounded right now, he wanted everything from life, to continue pursuing the relationship with Senku and slowly stabbing Stanley’s back.

He was never going to confess it, but the first time he saw Senku a spark inside his heart ignited something he thought was impossible, so his only alternative was to be distant and rude in a vain attempt of push him away.

The blonde insisted four years ago and insisted now, and Xeno was weak for him, he couldn’t controlled himself and the second time they met, he immediately accepted the dreadful deal; he didn’t exactly flirt with Senku, but the craving for his virginal small body was too much.

Now he was caught in the flames of their passion and for the first time in his life he skipped work to run to a nearby hotel and fuck the brains out of each other; Xeno couldn’t bear to let his lover go, he needed him as much as he needed Stanley and he felt sick to his stomach for feeling that way.

“We can’t continue to avoid our responsibilities by coming here.” He said while standing up from the bed. “We should have special days to see each other, it won’t be daily, but that way we can still be together.” He wanted to start dressing but his whole skin felt sticky.

“Which days?” Senku asked, he was still laying on the bed, not wanting the fantasy to break right before his eyes.

“I’m free Tuesday’s and Thursday’s afternoon.” He was scratching the back of his head, this discussion was really happening, he never thought to be that kind of person who needed to organize his life between his husband and his lover. “So, we can meet up here those days.”

“Tomorrow’s Tuesday…” The blonde was on his back, head on the puffy pillow and narrowing his eyes while thinking about their future encounters. “So, we'll see each other tomorrow.” He said with a wide grin on his face. “I’m free after 4pm.”

Xeno chuckled. “Yes, tomorrow’s fine.” He was making direct eye contact with his lover, his tired, sweaty and blushed body was to die for. “Aren’t you satisfied?”

“I’m never satisfied.” Senku said while lifting his bare legs and spreading them open, showing the American his dripping pink hole. “Specially from you.”

It was difficult to make Xeno blush, but the blonde was now and expert in doing so, he got near the bed and leaned down to kiss those addictive lips, to savour them for a last time before parting goodbye, he sighed, if they were at home, they could continue fucking until the sunrise.

Then Xeno noticed that he thought the word _home_ , as if he shared that with Senku, but his home was with his husband; the American didn’t know how he was going to live with that remorse day by day, but it seemed lust was more powerful than his conscience.

“Let’s take a bath before…”

“Before returning to our own normal?”

Xeno nodded. “We no longer have a normality.”

“Then what do we have?”

“We have a mistake for which I’ll never ask for forgiveness.”

Apologies don’t mean anything if you keep doing what you’re sorry for…but the problem was that Xeno wasn’t sorry for.

* * *

At 10pm they shared a goodbye kiss on the hotel’s elevator, Xeno framed the blonde’s face with his hands and pressed their lips together, then the doors open and they walked out as complete strangers.

Senku took the long path towards the dorm rooms as he wanted some lonely time to think about what he was doing with a married man, the moon was his only companion on that brightly night, it never leave him as it was always there, watching and keeping a steady fast pace along him; the moon was the only one that knew Senku in his light and dark moments.

When he entered into his dorm room, Chrome was on the floor, his back against the bed, having dinner by himself, he was slurping the hot steamy noodles when their eyes met. “Want some?” he asked. “I have another cup of instant noodles.”

The blonde nodded and cheerfully accept the offer; inside the dorm room they had a small bathroom, a small kitchen cabinet with a microwave, mini fridge and a coffee maker, each of them had a desktop where Senku usually eat, but his roommate preferred to stretched out his legs on the floor, so for this time he was going to accompany him.

“You’re smiling, how was your day?” He asked while sipping some cold water.

Senku had just set the timer for three minutes in the microwave when he turned to faced Chrome. “Today was a good day.”

“How some?”

The blonde didn’t know if it was right to answer, deep inside he knew everything was wrong, but he couldn’t stop doing it, it felt right, it felt great, it felt like love.

“If I tell you…” He said while opening the microwave’s door and holding the steamy cup of noodles. “You can’t judge, I know all the pros and cons of what I’m doing.”

Chrome arched an eyebrow. “Deal.”

Senku sat down on the floor right in front of him, and with a fork started stirring the noddles. “I was with my lover.”

“What!!”

The blonde’s cheeks turned bright red. “We meet again today, and we both decided that…” He sighed; it really was embarrassing to say it out loud. “We’re going to continue seeing each other.”

“And are you ok with that?”

“I’m fine, I know he was feelings for me.” He was slurping the noodles. “And I don’t want him to leave his husband, it’s just that we can’t stop touching each other.” The blonde shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know how to explain it, but it feels like we’re bound to each other.”

“I won’t say that you should stop doing what your doing.” Chrome said. “But you should be careful with your own feelings, you didn’t see at yourself on Saturday night and all Sunday.” The brunette said while placing the empty cup of noodles on the floor. “Just be careful, don’t forget who you are and more importantly…” He said this while smiling, he really was wishing the best for his roommate and even though he thought being in a relationship with a married person was wrong, he was happy that Senku was trusting him. “Don’t ignore your friends, don’t put your lover above your friends and family.”

“Why are you saying all that?”

Chrome sighed. “Your friend Taiju called at 9pm, something about you having a skype meeting with him.”

Senku’s eyes opened wide and he double blinked, he totally forgot about talking with Taiju and Yuzuriha, he had even passed him the dorm room’s phone number in case his phone ran out of battery; his phone!

He took it out his jean’s pocket and he gasped when noticing all the missed calls and unread text messages, he didn’t look at it since he met Xeno on the college’s restroom. “I-I…I can’t believe I forget it.”

“Don’t worry man, I told him you probably got stuck with some labwork.” Chrome crossed his arms and glared directly at the blonde. “But now that I know where you were, I feel is my duty as your friend to tell you this; please be careful, when we’re in love is common to ignore the people around us, but when you’re heartbroken those people are the ones that would take care of you.”

“You’re right…” Senku was rubbing his face with is hand in exasperation, how could he be so stupid and senseless. “I have to talk to him.” And also, to Tsukasa, as he noticed the fighter also send him some messages. “I just don’t want them to know about my relationship with my lover.”

“That’s ok man, I’ll keep the secret.”

Senku couldn’t finished his dinner, he felt so ashamed of himself, how could he have forgotten Taiju? He always protected him, listened to him and was by his side since elementary school; the blonde sighed.

“I’m sorry Taiju, I’ll just lie to you this time.” He said before answering the messages.

Taiju  
  
Senku, how are you? 😃  
  
Ready for our skype date? Hahaha, I know you hate that I called it a date.  
  
Are you busy? 😟  
  
Whenever you’re ready man, Yuzuriha and I can’t wait to see you on the screen.  
  
Your roommate told me that you were busy with some schoolwork, don’t worry man. We can talk another day.😁😁  
  
Taiju, I’m so sorry, my battery died and I just got to my room. Chrome told me that you called, I’m so embarrassed, can we talk another day?  
  
I also excited to talk to you guys, don’t think I’ve forgotten about you.  
  
Senku!! Don’t worry, I know you have a lot of work and science to do. We can talk another day.🤓  
  


Senku sighed in relief, he knew Taiju wasn’t going to be mad, he needed to explain why he missed the skype date, even though it was a complete lie; Chrome was right he couldn’t forget the world around him just for being with Xeno, but it was difficult to think about something else when they were together.

And then he read Tsukasa’s text message and his heart ache

Tsukasa  
  
I really love talking with you💖   
  


He received that message right when he was fucking Xeno, and Senku didn’t understand why he felt like he betrayed Tsukasa; he really had fun texting with him during Sunday, and he remembered how well the fighter treated him back at Japan.

Senku was confused, was he really in a relationship? If Xeno had Stanley, then he could continue talking with Tsukasa, right? It only seems fair, but he also didn’t want to give the fighter false illusions.

It was horrible to be in love, so many different emotions swirling around the blonde’s mind, it opens your chest and it opens your heart, only meaning that someone can get inside and mess everything up, and maybe that was Xeno, but Senku couldn’t let him go.

Texting Tsukasa make him feel normal, like he didn’t have to hide from anyone, like he could talk about him and no one would give him a dirty look, and he wanted to continue feeling that way.

Tsukasa  
  
I really love talking with you.💖  
  
I also love talking with you  
  


Tsukasa is typing...   
  
  
  


Senku noticed that Tsukasa was immediately replying, and his heart skip a beat, was this some kind of love? He sure was feeling like a high school girl, and it shouldn’t be wrong; if Xeno was at home with his husband, then Senku had all the right to text his ex-boyfriend.

Tsukasa  
  
I missed you during the day.  
  
I’m sorry, got busy with schoolwork.  
  


He had to lie, but it couldn’t be helped it.

Tsukasa  
  
Don’t worry, I’m counting the days to finally see you again.  
  
We’re almost there  
  
Can I hug you when we see each other?  
  
Why are you asking that?  
  
When we were dating, I used to hug you a lot, I don’t know if I’m still allowed  
  
You can hug me as many times as you want.  
  
💖🦁  
  


* * *

“How was work?”

Xeno sighed after closing the door behind him. “Really tired, I got swamp with checking my student’s assignments.” He said while stretching his back.

“I made dinner; your dish is on the kitchen counter.” Stanley was watching an old black and white movie on the TV while smoking a cigarette, it was the only addiction he had and Xeno never mind.

“Great, what did you do?”

“It’s just eggs with ham.” He blew his smoke up. “You know I can’t cook anything else.”

“I don’t mind, your eggs with ham are delicious.” Xeno took his plate and sat next to Stanley on the couch.

“Aren’t you going to warm that up?”

“I like it cold and I’m too tired and hungry to wait.” He said while eating a mouthful of eggs.

Xeno didn’t know how he got so good at lying, he never tittered nor thought, the lies just came out of his mouth and his husband believed every word he said; it was wrong, it was mean, but what else could he do?

After the American finished his late dinner, Stanley took his hand and led him to the bathroom and prepared him a warm bath, he poured some lavender sea salts and waited for the tub to be filled with warm water.

“You looked tired, let’s take a bath and sleep for the night.” The sniper said while testing the water’s temperature with the tips of his fingers.

“I’ll love that.” Xeno said with great relief, after spending all the afternoon with Senku, he really was tired and didn’t think he could endure a sex round with his husband.

“You can ride me all tomorrow night.” The Sniper said while winking at his husband. “I’ll let you rest just for today.”

The American chuckled. “Should I be grateful for that opportunity?”

“Of course.” Stanley said while approaching his husband, he wrapped a hand around his small waist and lean in to brush their lips together. “There’s no better cock than mine to filled you up.”

Xeno’s cheeks blushed deeply and he accepted the loving kiss, they kissed for about the thousandth time and it was wonderful; Stanley was helping him get undressed, the clothes were slowly falling from his body and suddenly, when he was just in his black underwear, the Sniper stopped and stared at him with a confused expression.

“What do you have on your neck?”

The American freeze and stared into the blue eyes with his raised eyebrows. “What do I have?” He dared to ask.

Stanley touch it with his right-hand fingers and traced them all along the neck’s length. “It looks like a burn…or a hickey.”

Xeno breath deeply and tried to follow the conversation while unbuttoning his husband’s shirt. “Well yeah, you leaved a trace of hickey’s all around my body.” He teasingly smiled at him. “Of course it’s a hickey.”

“I never leave them on your neck.” The sniper tiled his head to the right. “You hate them there.”

“You were so passionate last night that when you latched your mouth on my neck, I didn’t stop you.” Xeno was sliding down Stanley’s shirt, he wanted to finish this conversation as soon as possible, his heart was pounding desperately inside his chest.

Was he getting caught?

“I’m sure I didn’t even kiss your neck.”

“Then what are you saying?” Xeno frowned his eyebrows. “That I’m a whore and someone leave a hickey on my neck? Is that what you’re saying?” It hurt to say those words out loud because it was the truth, was his world crumbling down? Was everything over?

Stanley sighed. “No, of course I’m not saying that…it’s just that…”

“Shh…” Xeno placed a finger on the sniper’s puffy black lips, he always loved the lipstick he wore daily. “I love your love marks, that’s why I didn’t mind you leaving them in all my body.” He was caressing the soft skin of his shoulders and slowly kneel down to unbuckle his husband’s pants. “Now let me leave you some love marks here.” He said while taking out the semi-hard cock, the American traced his tongue up and down along the whole length, it was a matter of seconds for the member to be fully erect.

Xeno took the first two inches of the cock inside his mouth and wrap his hand around the shaft, Stanley always lose his mind when being jerk and suck at the same time and the American loved to hear every sound coming from his husband’s parted mouth.

The water was still running, the lavender scent was filling up the room, and Xeno was sucking on Stanley’s cock to stop him from thinking in the cruel reality.

_Is it really love if you’re hurting the one you love?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoy the work I create, you can come say hi on my twitter and check when I'm uploading more chapters and one shot fics @dainonico.


	8. Missed you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I missed you.” Xeno always whispered the truth between their love sessions.  
> “I missed you too…” It was getting harder for Senku to return all alone to his dorm room, but every time he met with his lover it made him feel that it was somewhat worth it, never feeling this kind of strong connection with anyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! I'm sorry for the late chapter updating, I have some issues during the weekend. 
> 
> Tysm for continue reading it, I appreciate all your comments and kudos.

“Why are you wearing those collars?” Stanley asked, it was Tuesday’s morning and he was sitting at the kitchen counter sipping a hot mug of coffee when his husband got out of their room, hair slightly wet for his recent shower. “You haven’t used them since high school.”

Xeno approached him and kissed him gently on the forehead. “And do you remember why I used them?” He was pouring himself a mug of coffee.

“So, I wouldn’t be able to leave you hickey’s on the neck.”

“That’s right.” As long as there was freshly ground coffee, how bad could things be? That’s what Xeno wanted to think that morning, as he knew that every passing day he was digging his grave deeper. “Since you leave me a new hickey on the neck, I need to start using my collars again.”

“I…” The blonde was glaring down at his black steamy drink. “I don’t recall even kissing your neck.” He had a strange feeling on his gut, like something was weird but he couldn’t know what, he was certain of it; Stanley had years without touching or kissing Xeno’s neck since he hated the marks to be visible.

“Then who kiss my neck?” Xeno asked while arching his eyebrow.

The blonde deeply sighed and took a sip of the coffee, he shook his head. “Forget that I mentioned it.” There was no point in continue talking about that, there was no evidence to prove otherwise, but something inside Stanley made him believe he still had some doubts. “You looked cute with the collars on; you should wear them more often.”

Xeno smirked and walked around the kitchen counter, his husband was sitting on the stool, their faces were at a more equal level and the American pulled at his top collar while winking an eye. “I know, right?” He brushed their lips together and the sniper immediately accepted the kiss. “I can wear this on our room.”

Stanley’s hands were holding tighter the American’s hips as they were sharing small and multiple kisses. “You sure would look lovely just wearing that.” The sniper tried to concentrate himself in that lovely Tuesday morning, he had a deep trust for his husband, trust for his marriage and trust for his love and although there were some bubbly doubts hanging around his head, he hoped that there was nothing that could betray his trust.  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


As the days passed, they turned into weeks. Xeno and Senku continued their weekly meetings at the hotel near the university, they didn’t even had to talked about it as both knew that they should meet in the hotel lobby at exactly 4pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays; both would walk as complete strangers that casually entered the same elevator, but once the doors closed, their lips were joined as if attracted by powerful magnets.

Inside the room the clothes would easily slide down their bodies and once on the bed, Xeno would instantly take the lead, moving slowly towards his lover and kissing him softly on the lips; it was a lovely ritual to start making out, their lips brushing together, their tongues dancing at an equal rhythm. Both were instantly hard, brushing their erections against each other and Xeno always loved to run his hand through the blonde’s hair strings.

Senku moaned with every new part of her back and shoulders that Xeno touched; the blonde’s soft groans of intense pleasure only added to the American’s increasing arousal.

“I missed you.” Xeno always whispered the truth between their love sessions.

“I missed you too…” It was getting harder for Senku to return all alone to his dorm room, but every time he met with his lover it made him feel that it was somewhat worth it, never feeling this kind of strong connection with anyone else. There were empty spaces in their deep bond as they let the winds of the heavens to dance between them; each time Xeno returned with his husband, Senku need to fill that space with a different distraction and even if it hurt to think about it, Tsukasa was the perfect person to help him overcome the loneliness.

The American took him out of his sudden thoughts, sliding his cock inside the already lubricated pink void, nibbling at his cherry nipples and touching every inch of available skin; Senku should had knew it better, it was impossible to think about any other stuff when being in bed with Xeno.

The thrusts, moans and shouting of their names continue during the whole afternoon, jus resting a few minutes between afterglows just to retake the dance once more; it was better to make the most of the little time they could spend together and they didn’t lost it in vague conversations; their sex was unique, pure and magical, Senku was so in love with Xeno and he couldn’t believe he was just realizing it.

The American almost never leaved his mind, always there, always present, mentally if not physically; it was a strange feeling that stretched throughout his whole body. It was overwhelming, yet it was making Senku to feel strangely complete.

And as their danced continue, the blonde’s hole clenched and unclenched around Xeno’s cock, eating away the ecstasy from his body, and letting their little secret to continue flourishing.  
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Then without neither of them realizing it, they were already living the first days of September, fall was coming, the summer just barely ending. Another fall, another turned page, there was something in Senku’s soul after a month of being in a relationship with a married man, as if this mistake they were sharing was getting bigger as the time passed.

“What do you mean you can’t make it today?” Xeno arched an eyebrow when the blonde sat at his office, he didn’t like to receive him in that space inside the university, but sometimes it was necessary to hide appearances since they could attract more attention if they talked carelessly in the hallways. “Do you really are going to miss our _study session_?”

“I need to pick up a friend from the airport.” Senku was picking his ear with his little finger, he was getting more used to talk to him like any other student, just between the sheets was where he submitted his whole body and devotion to his lover.

Xeno leaned into the desk, holding his chin with his right hand. “And who’s this friend?”

“Jealous much?” The blonde chuckled, in fact he thought Xeno wouldn’t care who he was meeting.

“None at all, I’m just intrigued who’s so important that you’re going to miss our _study session._ ”

Senku couldn’t help but grin, of course the American was showing slight signs of jealousy, maybe he also got a little bit of power over him. “His name’s Tsukasa, he’s my friend from Japan.” The blonde omitted the fact that the brunette was also his ex-boyfriend, the guy he tried to spend time with, in order to forget about his immense crush over Xeno.

“And what he’s doing here?”

“Aren’t you asking a lot of questions, _professor_?” Senku felt a heat bubbling in his chest and stomach, he was getting slightly aroused by thinking of a jealous Xeno, maybe this would mean that they could spend more time together, more than just two days a week. Then a question pop on the blonde’s mind, wasn’t Stanley satisfying him? Perhaps Xeno was preferring his company and body over his husband’s.

Senku also noticed that since the day he left a hickey on his lover’s neck, the American hadn’t stopped wearing two black collars around his neck, was it to stop the visible hickeys? Was it a punishment from Stanley? A sign to mark him as his own, but the second option wasn’t very plausible to the blonde, since he was mostly sure that the sniper wasn’t suspecting anything funny between them.

Xeno sighed and leaned back on the chair. “Fairy well, see you on Thursday, then.”

The blonde nodded and stood up. “See you on Thursday.”

“Have fun with your friend.” The American quickly winked to his little lover and after Senku left the room he puffed and rolled his eyes. He always looked forward to Tuesdays to spend time with him, now he needed to tell Stanley that his job meetings got cancelled for the day.

An attachment had grown up towards the blonde, but what did that really mean? It seemed as the most difficult of all the human relationships to explain as it was so vague in nature; it had all the good points of a type of love but at the same time there was a greed to possessed his body and a huge surge of passion. Xeno brushed his hair backwards, every passing moment he felt like drowning, like his lies would get exposed, that he’ll lose it all, but there was an ache in his gut preventing him from stopping.

The depths of hell could wait a little longer for his soul.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


That September 4th when Tsukasa got off the plane and walked out of the baggage check glass wall, his heart skipped a bit when he noticed Senku in the middle of the colorful crowd right outside the waiting hall.

Tsukasa couldn’t control himself and as he dropped his suitcase on the floor he run towards the blonde and tightly embraced him while lifting up his small body; the hug was stronger than anything Senku remembered as if been hold wasn’t quite enough, he could feel every ounce that Tsukasa was pressing into him.

Their eyes met, and the blonde was remembering every feeling during their midnight texts, every moment they passed together back at home and every sweet kiss they shared before his departing. In that mere moment, Senku was feeling so close to him, awake somehow, more alive than this past month.

Tsukasa’s eyes were like the forest and the autumnal leaves that were glaring at the blonde in these fall, Senku felt strange, connected and longing for something he didn’t know he missed, then as if time had stopped and even thought they really hadn’t shared any words, Senku leaned his mouth closer and closed the gap between their lips.

The blonde ran a finger along the edge of the fighter’s hairline, tucking a rogue lock of hair behind his ear as their lips kept brushing against each other; it wasn’t a long kiss and certainly it wasn’t the kind of kisses someone sees on movies, but it was unique and wonderful on its own way, and all could Senku kept thinking during the moment their lips were touching was that this new memory would last forever.

Then he paused and broke the kiss softly, pulling his face back and admiring Tsukasa’s eyes once more, feeling a deep confusion running down his body; Senku’s breath exhaled on a half laugh. “I wasn’t expecting this.” He said while he was touching the floor again.

“Me neither, I’m surprised that you kissed me.” Tsukasa was happy, giving the blonde a smile that just seemed so genuinely sweet.

“Well, you lift me first.” Senku was a bit shy for his action but at the same time he was feeling an unexpected warmth that was rushing through his body, but this set the things clearer for the blonde, something he thought for a second while they exchanged texts but that now it was crystal clear, Tsukasa wanted to regain their relationship, the one the blonde broke off in order to pursue his strange relationship with Xeno. “Where are you staying?”

Tsukasa gave him a peck on the lips, sending more fuzzy feelings on the blonde’s body. “At the Waterfront Hotel, it’s downtown.” Tsukasa picked his suitcase up and began strolling it beside him as he walked, Senku was right by his side. “Do you want to come with me?”

“Wasn’t that the sole purpose of meeting you at the airport?”

“Well yes, but I don’t know if you’re busy afterwards.”

“I’m free all afternoon.” Senku shrugged his shoulders, he sure had cancelled his weekly meeting with his lover to spend time with the fighter.

“That’s perfect, then I’ll leave my things at my hotel room and then we could grab something to eat.”

“Aren’t you tired?” He was glaring up to see at the brunette, he didn’t remember how well Tsukasa made him feel, how love and care, but he tossed everything up as soon as he saw the opportunity to see Xeno again. “You just came from a long flight.”

“I slept during the flight and besides…” Tsukasa hold the blonde’s chin and forced him to see him; Senku could feel getting lost in those earthy hues where the fighter’s soul rested. “I missed you so much…” he said before kissing him again, Tsukasa’s lips were so soft and the blonde could taste the sweetness of the chocolate pudding he had on the flight; the fighter curled his fingers on Senku’s hair, as he’d wanted to do since he first saw him between the crowd.

Senku was getting confused by the second, but he was getting used to being carried away by his emotions and not taking importance on the crucial consequences; Xeno was able to kiss and fuck his husband all day and night when they weren’t meeting, surely he had the right to enjoy Tsukasa’s company, so the blonde deepened into the kiss, not caring that they were just outside the airport and that people were looking at them.

The blonde felt as if he wasn’t kissing a secret, he could kiss the brunette whenever and wherever he wanted, and it was normal, pure and beautiful.

* * *

After Tsukasa leaved his things inside his hotel room, he met Senku on the lobby and both decided to have lunch at the Renaissance Restaurant just inside the hotel; they sat at a table near the window and both order a cheeseburger with fries and coke.

Since the moment they met again they couldn’t stop talking about anything and everything at the same time; as in the best conversations one couldn’t even remember what they talked about, but how they felt. Senku was talking with Tsukasa on public on what appeared to be a first date, he didn’t need to hide nor to meet him in a secret place, away from the glares of the people, knowing that his relationship was wrong in every sense.

Then the blonde stopped munching on his fries and glared directly at the brunette. “Tsukasa…” he said, knowing well the answer he’ll receive. “You don’t know how much I’m enjoying your company, but what do you really want from me?

The brunette grinned and took a sip from his cold beverage. “I thought I made myself clear during our texts, and even more during those last kisses.”

“I…” Senku wasn’t sure on how to continue the conversation, he was slowly losing his words when gazing at the hazel eyes.

Tsukasa’s hand reached for the blonde’s and he held it softly, kissing the back of it. “I missed you, I missed us.” He was whispering it. “I know that if you had stayed in Japan, our relationship would have continued.”

“To be honest.” Senku deeply sighed, his cheeks were blushing a cute tone of champagne pink, he didn’t know how much Tsukasa meant for him back then and now. “I also thought that…but now…” He shyly looked to the side, it seemed he really needed to tell him, but was afraid of Tsukasa running away.

“Now what?”

“I need to be honest with you…” The blonde couldn’t hold his tongue, he didn’t want to lie to the brunette as it was against his nature to deceive the person he used to liked so deeply and that now was making his heart beat like crazy. “I’m in a sort of strange relationship with someone.”

“What do you mean?”

Tsukasa wasn’t afraid of asking questions and Senku would like to hear them, as in the questions there existed a part of him, a part that needed Tsukasa. “I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help it…” Would he run? Would he leave? Would he block him from every social media? “I’m seeing a married man…”

A brief silence invade their table, Tsukasa was just staring at him, but their eyes seemed different, more soft than the hazel eyes he already know; the eyes of the professional MMA fighter were gone and instead there were those eyes that were showing a sweet kind of love. If he were anyone else, Senku would have drop his gaze, but with Tsukasa, he was drawn in closer.

“Is this a serious relationship?”

“No...”

“Why not?”

“It feels more lustful and carnal…even if a feel something else, I don’t think there’s love…” Senku was getting embarrassed by sharing that.

“Do you love him?”

“I still don’t know…” The blonde didn’t dare to say it out loud, but it was true that his relationship with Xeno was confusing him by the second, even more when Stanley returned from his work abroad.

Then Tsukasa said the words Senku needed to hear. “I want you, Senku.” He kissed again the back of his hand. “I let you go once, and now after sharing those kisses I saw you also cared about me.” The blonde’s cheeks were burning deeply, turning from pink to a cute tone of red. “I don’t want to let you go again.”

“Even if I’m with that man?”

“You’re not with him…you just enjoy his touches, you said it, that it was pure lust.” There was something in Tsukasa’s spirit that danced like fire giving just the right amount of warmth.

“I don’t know how to stop it.”

“Let me help you stop it.”

“How?”

“You can be with me and slowly forget him…” Tsukasa let go of Senku’s hand and lifted his chin as he leaned closer on the table. “Do you want to try and forget him? I can give you my total love and devotion. Turn that man into a silly crush and turned your true feelings towards me.” Their lips were only inches apart, Senku could almost taste him. “I know you and I know us…”

The blonde sure remembered his brief relationship with Tsukasa, the kisses were everything and even though they didn’t pursue their love and he ended up losing his virginity to Xeno, here was Tsukasa, right in front of him, asking for a chance to make him forget his lover.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Just accept me…”

Senku could feel the little sparks of magic dancing around his skin and without further hesitation he nodded and his lips pressed against Tsukasa’s, with love and affection, this kiss was different than any kiss he shared with Xeno as it was lacking passion and lust; it was a perfect kiss where two loves were reuniting.

It was wonderful when Tsukasa kissed him. And it did mean a thing or two.

The blonde could easily get used to showing true love in public, no more hiding, no more secrets, but deep down he knew it was going to be difficult to let Xeno go.

* * *

Dr Stone  
  
How was your day?  
  


Hours had passed since Xeno had sent the text without getting an answer, where the hell was Senku?

He wasn’t jealous, the American just wanted to know what was so important about his friend that he decided to cancel their love meeting; Xeno sighed deeply as he tucked the phone inside his pant’s pocket.

Stanley was making them dinner, spaguetti pomodoro with meatballs, and even though he was happily having a conversation with his husband, he couldn’t stop thinking what the blonde was doing with his friend as he had never heard that friend’s name before.

Could it be that they were now lovers? That Senku was fucking that friend instead of him?

“Darling, are you all right?” Stanley asked while adding the tomato sauce to the spaguetti.

Xeno was startled, he didn’t notice he was loudly grinding his teeth and that his jaw was clenching. He sighed when he noticed the sniper’s concerned look. “I’m fine, just having some issues at work. I don’t want to talk about it, though.”

“That’s fine.” Stanley placed a plate before him with the dinner ready and he sat on the opposite extreme of the kitchen counter. “I’m glad we can expend this time together, since I’ll be back to work at the end of the week.”

“Really?” Xeno was twirling his fork around the pasta threads. “You didn’t tell me.”

“This morning my boss called me, I had to train the new military who want to be snipers. I’ll be gone a week or two, they still don’t know how much intense training they’ll need.”

That was perfect, the American would take advantage of the time his husband wouldn’t be at home to spend more time with Senku, he sure missed getting to sleep right beside him after a night of intense love making.

Xeno reached for the sniper’s hand and hold it tightly as he glared intensely into the deep blue sea. “I’ll miss you…so much.”

He was drowning on the sea of his decisions, and every passing day, Xeno couldn’t care less.

_To hurt someone is as human as breathing._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can follow me on twitter for every fic update notice @Dainonico.


	9. I Fall in Love So Easily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just on Saturday he’ll have to make a decision, but for now he could try to forget about Xeno and focused on Tsukasa’s sweet lips.
> 
> Don’t be so nice to me; I fall in love so easily…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Chapter 9!!!! I'm so glad and happy that everyone likes this story. 
> 
> TYSM for all your kudos and comments.

“You didn’t answer my text.” Xeno whispered, he was walking right beside Senku. The university halls were full of students and teachers ready to go home; it was the end of the day, almost 7 o’clock, a common hour for most classes to finish, letting the students to finish some schoolwork and rest for the next new day.

“Sorry, I got busy.” The blonde was trying to talk with his teacher without looking suspicions, luckily there was enough chatter and whispers around them. No one would notice they were exchanging words with each other. 

“With your friend.”

Senku chuckled softly, covering his mouth with his right hand. “Well, of course with my friend but you already knew that, don’t you?”

Xeno couldn’t do much as to roll his eyes, he was still bitter by the lack of answer in the text message, and now his lover wasn’t being very talkative with him; the American felt a hard pound on his chest and a sudden thought popped into his mind, was Senku tired of their little arrangement? They hadn’t been lovers for too long, but each one of their encounters had been intense, lustful and passionate, who would get tired of that?

The American softly brushed the blonde’s shoulders and nodded towards the staircase, in a clear signal for Senku to follow him; he left the sea of students and climb up to the restroom on the third floor.

Xeno didn’t know what he was doing, he didn’t understand his sudden feelings, but he also didn’t want to stop. True love was what he got with Stanley, but the intense passion, so strong and addictive like a drug was the true nature of his relationship with Senku. He turned on the water tap and washed his face, as if trying to erase all the strange thoughts that were swirling in his mind, then he looked at his reflection and noticed how tired he looked, how dark his circles beneath his eyes had become.

He was starting to get exhausted of having a double life, to constantly lie, to have this horrible secret and to start feeling confused by these sudden new emotions. The restroom door opened and Xeno saw Senku through the mirror reflection; rarely anyone walked on the third floor, even less they used that restroom. It was late and hardly anyone was left wandering in the building.

“You didn’t answer my text…” Xeno whispered, he didn’t want to accept that he was hurt by that.

“I’ll repeat what you say to me a few weeks ago.” Senku leaned on the sink, arms crossed and looking at his teacher. “I couldn’t.”

“Yes, you could.”

“I’m telling you. I couldn’t.”

“Are you with him?”

“With whom?” The blonde arched an eyebrow, was the American jealous? It was sure strange to see him acting that way, but at the same time is was intriguing to noticed him so desperate and annoyed by the lack of communication for one day.

Xeno sighed with a huge desperation. “With your friend!”

“I don’t know…”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” The American stopped looking at his reflection on the mirror and turned his face to glare at the crimson eyes; he couldn’t admit it, he didn’t want to admit it, but there was something boiling right inside him, an angriness and bitterness of feeling as if someone was stealing Senku away from him.

“It’s…it’s complicated.” Senku tried to explain but he was avoiding the dark orbs, that blackness that swallowed his whole soul and body, his heart was pounding hard against his chest and he could hear it so clearly…duh-duhn, duh-duhn. Deep heavy breathes were leaving his lungs, he didn’t want to look him directly at his eyes.

Xeno grabbed the blonde’s chin and lifted it, forcing him to face him, forcing those red eyes as scattering lava to face at the black abyss. “What happened Senku? We were great together…and now your friend appears, and you don’t know? What is what you don’t know?” The American rested his forehead against the blonde’s, waiting for an answer.

Senku cupped his lover’s face between his both hands and closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling, his love towards the American was so big, was so bright and so powerful; it was more than a simple crush. “I got confused. Since Stanley came back, we have to hide more…” He whispered. “And we see each other less and less…with Tsukasa…”

“So, his name’s Tsukasa…”

“Don’t be jealous.”

“Why not?” Xeno didn’t know himself if he was indeed accepting those green dark feelings, but the mere thought of other set of hands touching his lover’s smooth silk skin was driving him crazy.

“You have Stanley…” Senku softly brushed his nose against Xeno’s, looking him with so much love and pain in his eyes. “I also need someone who’ll be always there with me.”

“I’m with you.”

“You’re with Stanley.”

“Not right now…”

“What do you mean?”

“That I’m here with you…” Xeno puts his hands on either side of the blonde’s face and suddenly the restroom fell apart. He wanted to get lost in that kiss so badly; the American’s heart kept missing beats and his hands cannot brought Senku closer enough to him. He savoured his sweet mouth and it tasted like freshly ground coffee, realizing that he had been starving since the beginning of the week.

Xeno had kissed Senku before, but it didn’t feel like been burned alive. It was maybe the fear that their strange relationship could come to an end. Xeno didn’t know how long the kiss lasted, how longue their tongues dance with each other and how long they hold onto their faces to keep their bodies closer; maybe it lasted some minutes, maybe it lasted an hour. All he knew was that eternal kiss, and how soft Senku’s skin felt when brushing against his, and that even if Xeno didn’t know until now, his heart couldn’t be apart from his young lover.

When their lungs required air to breathe, they pulled apart, Senku’s cheeks were a cute tone of champagne pink and his lips were beautifully swollen for the intense make out session.

“Can we keep our deal?” Xeno asked, not wanting to let go of his lover until he got an answer.

The blonde’s crimson eyes were dilated and shiner than usual, he just shyly nodded. “Yes…” He whispered. “But I have to be with Tsukasa for the rest of the week.”

“Why?”

“He’s visiting and leaves in two weeks. Remember he just arrived yesterday.”

“So I won’t see you on Thursday?”

“I’m afraid so…”

Xeno kissed him again, he wanted to impose his kisses and caresses on Senku’s skin, so he wouldn’t forget him while being with the other guy. It sounded so sick on his mind, but he just didn’t care. “Stanley’s going to leave the city on Saturday. He needs to go back to work.” Senku arched an eyebrow and listen carefully to his lover’s words. “You can stay at my place again.”

“For how long?”

“I still don’t know if a week or two, but it’s something.” His hands slided down to touch the blonde’s shoulders, breathing in his lovely aroma and leaving small pecks on his puffy lips. “Do you remember how much fun we had? We can have that again…”

“But Tsukasa…”

Xeno interrupted those words with his lips as he didn’t want to hear the other guy’s name; Senku was under his full control, their desire and passion was so intense that it was unbreakable. They were dancing around one of the seven deadly sins; they couldn’t get rid of the powerful lust. “You can be with Tsukasa by day, but on the nighttime your mine.”

“On Saturday?”

“Yes, my love.” A pet name escaped through Xeno’s lips, but he couldn’t resist it, Senku looked so cute and vulnerable under his black gaze. “On Saturday we’ll be together again. Keep the memory of these kisses until then.” They kissed for a little while longer, feeling fireworks and different kinds of explosions on their hearts and skins, it was like a blissful oblivion, the perfect representation of lust in the world.

They broke apart the kiss along with the illusion, but with the promise of continuing their love session on Saturday night. They got out of the restroom and Xeno walked a bit behind the blonde, there were hardly any person left in the building, the echo of their steps could be heard and Xeno couldn’t take the eyes off the blonde’s body, his small silhouette, his perfectly standing hair with shiny green tips and his small but strong shoulders, trying to communicate some self-security.

When they left the building, before them was a stone walkway, with strong trees swaying their leaves in the wind and at the front the university gates that lead to the city streets. Suddenly Senku walked faster and Xeno didn’t understand why until he saw him; a tall and strong brunette leaning against the stone wall right beside the gate, arms crossed who when seeing Senku he opened wide as if waiting for a hug.

Xeno’s stomach twisted at the image before his eyes, his student, his blonde, his lover in the arms of another man; the American kept walking, trying not to pay attention to the sickening lovely picture and as he was about to passed them he heard a voice.

“Darling!”

Xeno quickly turned his head to the other side, his dark orbs locked on the deep blue sea, wide and wild, and his nostrils flared. Shock, pure shock flashed across his features and he stumbled towards his loving husband. “What…are you doing here?”

Stanley flicked the remaining of his cigarette on the ground. “I wanted to surprise you, but you sure took long to come out.” The blonde met him halfway and gently hugged him, sliding his hands across the albino’s back. “Where you with that brat?”

The American was thankful for his quick thinking, and as he glared at the loving couple on the other side of the gate he said. “Yes, Mr. Ishigami had some doubts about the class, and I answered them all in my office; we just finished. Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“That’s ok. You didn’t know I was gonna come and pick you up.” The Sniper kissed his husband’s forehead and slide his hand down his arm to hold his hand tightly, interlacing their fingers with each other. “Is that his boyfriend?”

Xeno shrugged his shoulders not wanting to give them importance. “I don’t know…” It hurt to mutter those words. “It seems so.”

The Sniper chuckled. “I’m glad for him. I swear that brat had a crush on you.”

They started walking towards the exit, ready to go to their home and as they passed right beside the embracing couple, Xeno could swear the brunette was staring at him; those hazel eyes were burning with a strong fire inside and a smirked was forming on his lips as he lifted Senku’s chin to freely kiss him without caring about anything.

The American’s black orbs opened wide and his lips were trembling; Senku didn’t opposed to the kiss, in fact the blonde wrapped his arms around the brunette and unite their lips into a soft kiss, a lovely kiss that looked like an endless bliss. That image made Xeno’s gut to painfully twist and the worst part of it all is that he couldn’t say a thing nor a word; he couldn’t interrupted that brushing of lips, that hand that was curling into the blonde locks and those hazel eyes that didn’t close.

Xeno was sure the brunette was telling him _“He’s mine”_ and right now he was right; it hurt as if a hot iron bar was pressed against his chest. They had to walk as if they were mostly strangers, just a teacher and his student, without knowing anything about their private life.

“What’s wrong?” Stanley asked while lighting a cigarette; the night was slowly falling over their shoulders and the blue haze of the day was lifted to reveal a trail of stars; Xeno always felt like the night knew all his deepest secrets.

“Nothing. Long day at work.” He leaned his head over the Sniper’s shoulder. It felt wrong and everything around his second life was so utterly wrong and sick; Stanley didn’t deserve it nor deserved someone like him by his side.

Even if it hurt, Senku also deserved someone who could gave him all his care and attention, without having to divided between two different lives, but he didn’t want to let go anyone of them. It was a though decision, one decision he shouldn’t be making in the first place because he should had remained faithful to his wedding vows.

The gold ring on his finger shined so brightly that it hurt his eyes for all the lies that it had witnessed.

Xeno stopped his tracks and the Sniper felt how his hand was pulled to stand still; the blonde turned around and arched an eyebrow to his husband. Xeno didn’t say a word, he just walked the two steps between them and kissed him, his eyelashes were covered with silvery tears and he wanted to bathe in the warmth of Stanley’s lips and breath; to roll around his body until his heart started beating for only him, for his husband, for his true love.

They kissed under the starlight, lips blossoming like flowers and souls burning with a strong desire. “Do you have to go again?” he lowly whimpered as he truly knew what he was capable of doing the moment he felt alone on their home; both feet were already deep in his grave.

“Darling, you know how my work is.”

Their noses and lips were brushing with such tenderness. “I know…” Xeno grabbed the blonde’s back tightly as if he was suddenly afraid of letting him go. “I’ll wait for you…”

“I’ll be back before you know it.” Stanley threw his cigarette on the floor and curled his fingers between the silver hair strands. “Let’s enjoy the rest of this week together.”

“I’ll love that. I can get off sooner from work.”

Getting home sooner from work meant ignoring Senku until Saturday night; Xeno needed that weekend with his lover to set things straight, to enjoy his company and fall victim to his huge desire, but also it could be the perfect opportunity to say their goodbyes.

It wasn’t fair that he continued cheating on Stanley and it was messing with his head that he was starting to feel jealous about his lover’s new sudden relationship. It only took one day for that tall guy to appeared and to mess with his and Senku’s feelings, but those intense hazel eyes, does he know about him? About his relationship with Senku?

It sure was dangerous for a third party to know about their secret love affair, it could ruin everything with Senku, and Xeno would never allow that.

They got home and their clothes quickly disappeared, they didn’t reach their room as Xeno pinned his husband down on their couch, kissing him so deeply and so desperate in love; Stanley wrapped his arms around his smooth back and in one gentle pull their bare skin touches against each other. Their lips never pulled apart from each other as they start moving like partners in a dance that was written in their DNA; their bodies fit just perfectly together, their throbbing boners brushing with one another, noticing the obvious side difference.

Stanley was working his fingers inside the pink void, stretching him out, getting him ready to received all his love and devotion; they locked eyes for just a moment, the black abyss melting into the deep blue sea, feeling safe with one another.

Xeno’s back was arching with anticipation, knowing fully well that Stanley’s fingers were looking for his sweet spot. “I love you.” He whispered against his husband’s lips. “I love you more than a thousand stars…” _and I’m so sorry, he thought. I’m so sorry for what I did and for what I’m about to do._

Saturday night would be his last time with Senku, he really wanted it to be their last time, to slowly forget about his sweet addiction and entirely focus on his one true love.

_One last time…_

_One last touch…_

_I’ll meet with my lover and then he’ll be gone…_  
  
  


* * *

“Was he your lover?” There was not a better way to asked it and Tsukasa wanted to get things clear before going further.

Senku sighed. They were walking while holding hands on the street, looking for a good place to have dinner. “Yes…how did you know?”

The brunette chuckled. “By the way he looked at you. He was dying with our kiss.”

“Is that what you want? To make him jealous?” Senku arched an eyebrow, he thought Tsukasa kissed him only because he wanted, to feel his lips, to feel his touch.

The brunette leaned and gave a peck on the lips to his little sweetheart. “I want you, and I want you to be entirely with me.” Another peck, another sweet brush; the dark ends of his long hair was brushing feather-light against the blonde’s face.

“I need to work things through with him…”

“And I’ll wait for you.” Tsukasa crossed his arms around the blonde’s tiny waist, pulling him closer to his chest. “If that means we can be together, I’ll wait, and when you give me the opportunity, I’ll help you forget him.”

The night was so quiet as silence felt so fragile around them; it was a perfect moment. Senku’s heart felt warm, high and tingly inside his chest, he felt just for a second like a baby in a womb, feeling so protected by the brunette’s strong arms as if nothing mattered in the world right now.

“This week we can be together. Just on Saturday I’ll meet him.” It was hard to said it out loud, but he hoped Tsukasa would understand. “I need to meet with him and set things straight.”

“Whatever choice you make, know that if you give me the opportunity, I’ll be here with you.”

“I want that.”

Both smiled and kiss one last time; Tsukasa touched his puffy cheek to slow down the kiss, holding Senku’s mouth on his so they could feel every place where their lips were touching and every place where they pull away.

They continue walking hand in hand and decided on a place to eat. They were walking outside, and having dates without the need to hide.

Senku was easily getting used to this.

Just on Saturday he’ll have to make a decision, but for now he could try to forget about Xeno and focused on Tsukasa’s sweet lips.

_Don’t be so nice to me; I fall in love so easily…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can follow me on Twitter @Dainonico for every new fic update.


	10. Run From This Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the week passed so quickly, Senku was having so much fun hanging out with Tsukasa, just like when they used to date. Always behind the blonde’s slightly pursed lips was a smile just waiting to be tempted out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Welcome to Chapter 10!!! Thank you so much for continuing reading this story, I appreaciate all your kuddos and lovely comments

The rest of the week passed so quickly, Senku was having so much fun hanging out with Tsukasa, just like when they used to date. Always behind the blonde’s slightly pursed lips was a smile just waiting to be tempted out; he liked Tsukasa, he always liked him, and Xeno’s image was slowly being pushed to the back of his mind. When their glances met, Senku didn’t have to try to smile, it just came naturally; in those moments he would blush ever so faintly, and he even imagined being Tsukasa’s boyfriend. How silly it sounded.

They used to date not long ago and Senku cut everything with him to pursue a forbidden love, one that he was having such a hard time leaving, but Tsukasa’s lips were making everything better. The blonde felt bad with himself, why did the brunette think he was worth the trouble and the wait? But with every word and every touch, the fighter achieved to flicker something in his crimson eyes, a sign that invited him to continue further with this love interest.

Those days Tsukasa took him out on what seemed like small dates, to walk around the park, share some ice cream together and have dinner at night. It was like a perfect flow of love in the vein of this new and strange kind of relationship, if one could call it that, but they were genuine with each other and Senku didn’t have to hide his painful truth.

During his last month with Xeno, they never went out of his home or the hotel, it was just plain lust between their souls, so being able to walk under the sunshine side by side to the strong fighter, it felt as something beautiful and unique; Senku really did miss that.

The blonde’s hand glided down the brunette’s arm and folded over his hand, his fingers lacing with each other, palms kissing. They stood together, but Senku was afraid of moving forward as he was ashamed that Tsukasa knew he lost his virginity with another man.

“I don’t care about that.” Tsukasa said on Friday night. “I don’t want to force you to do anything.” He kissed the blonde’s hand. They were sitting inside an Italian restaurant; it was beautiful and lavishly decorated combined with a low lighting that gave it a romantic atmosphere. Classical music was echoing through the speakers, a vase with red roses and a dripping candle were decorating their table while they waited for their food order.

“I just don’t know how to end things, that’s all.”

Tsukasa arched an eyebrow. “So, you’re thinking of ending things.”

“I-I think is for the best…right?” Senku always knew that relationship was a mistake, but he was the one that sought Xeno, the one that couldn’t forget him after so many years and after finally having him, the blonde realized he wanted more, more of a commitment, something serious, something more than real. And that was impossible with Xeno being married.

“The best is what makes you feel more comfortable.”

Senku ran a head through his spike hair. “Maybe it is rude to talk about these things with you.”

“None at all.” Tsukasa smiled and kissed his hand once more. “I think it is important that you express your feelings; it doesn’t matter that in the end you don’t choose me.”

The blonde’s red eyes opened widely, and he felt how his guts twisted; he was in pure shock for the brunette’s words. “Why do you say that?”

The waiter came with their order, a spaghetti pomodoro and a four formaggio pizza for the both of them to share, along with two white wine glasses, it took a while for Tsukasa to answer him as he was properly thanking the waiter. “It’s gonna get cold, please serve yourself.”

“Tsukasa, why do you say that?” Senku insisted.

The brunette just slightly chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, it’s just that…” He sighed without letting his smile vanish. “It’s just that you didn’t choose me the first time, and I’m the one here that’s still insisting for something impossible.”

“It isn’t impossible.” Senku quickly stood up and walked the few steps to be right in front of Tsukasa, he cupped both hands on the brunette’s face and pressed their foreheads together. “I’m just…”

“Confused?”

Senku nodded, tears forming on the corner of his crimson eyes, he was feeling so sorry and more aware of his own ingratitude and his own selfishness; Tsukasa’s face looked so hurt and he didn’t even realize it until now. He couldn’t understand how Tsukasa still wanted him even after everything he had done; Senku wasn’t ashamed to weep and the fighter’s strong arms embraced him so gently and so sweetly that he cried even more.

The brunette wiped his tears. “You don’t have to cry, even if you don’t choose me, I’ll wait for the moment you do.” He sat the blonde on his lap, not caring that people were looking at them, for which he now knew that Senku needed these signs of public affection.

The kiss started slow and uncertain, but quickly evolved to soft and smooth; Senku looked into the brown eyes, those pretty eyes that were like the forest and the autumnal leaves, the soil in the summer and the hot cocoa in his warm mug, and he felt immensely helpless as he was drowning in them.

Senku pulled apart and wrapped his arms around the fighter’s neck. “I just need to see him tomorrow…”

“I told you, it doesn’t matter what you chose.” Tsukasa brushed his nose against the blonde’s. “If you need me by your side, I’ll stay and wait for you…I’ll only go if you really want something serious with your lover.”

“There can’t be anything serious.” There was no point in lying. “It was just my stupid stubbornness and I felt prey to the lust fire.”

“I don’t care whatever you did with him…” Tsukasa wanted to hold him forever and to never let him go, but he couldn’t meddle in the blonde’s love decision. “But if you want…” He kissed his lips, softly small kisses to show him how much he cared. “I can do whatever he did to you, if you let me…” This he whispered in his ear. “I know I can make you forget him…”

Senku’s body trembled by the warm breath against his ear and he hid his face in the brunette’s shoulder. “Just let me talk with him and…” He sighed, pulling himself closer, feeling the beating of their both hearts. “I’ll accept…I think I’m ready to forget him.”

“Don’t rush anything for me.” Tsukasa kissed his forehead and teasingly brushed his hair. “I’ll be here, there’s no pressure at all.”

Senku didn’t want to get down the brunette’s lap and as he nodded, he asked. “Can I eat here?”

The fighter chuckled and kissed his lips once more. “Of course, if I could you would never get off my lap.”

* * *

Xeno smiled when feeling the Sniper’s kisses on his face, he slightly opened his eyes and hummed as there wasn’t a sunrise as beautiful as the sight of his husband’s pretty face and lips waking him up. “Morning.”

“Morning, Darling.” Stanley slid his hand across the albino’s leather necklace. “You don’t even take them off to sleep.”

“That’s because you don’t let me take them off.”

Stanley chuckled and continued kissing his eyelids, nose, cheeks and jawline. “That’s the only thing I like you to wear while in bed with me.”

Xeno was letting out little whimpers of anticipation while the Sniper worked his way back to his tender and smooth lips; it was an early Saturday morning make out session as it was also their goodbye for the time being. The couple danced between the sheets the night before, proclaiming their love through every corner of the room and moaning loudly until their throats felt dry.

“At what time do you leave?”

Stanley kissed him one last time, as a kiss was a lovely trick designed by nature to stop any kind of speech when someone wasn’t in the mood to hear certain words as he was going to miss his husband so deeply. “I love you.” The Sniper muttered without breaking up the kiss and Xeno held him dearly.

Even if he was just going to be gone for two weeks, Stanley wanted to remember every inch and every little aspect of the albino’s body; he already was picturing himself, laying on the cold bed, feeling extremely lonely as he dreamt of his arms wrapped around his husband and smelling his beautiful aroma, a warm and earthy scent mixed with chalk and old books.

Stanley always dreaded to part ways with the man he loved, but was happy to have someone special waiting for him at home. When the last kiss finally ended, the Sniper answered. “In two hours.”

Xeno was giggling for all the cute and extra attention, he always felt like a lovesick schoolgirl when being around his husband. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I know, darling.” He kissed the albino’s forehead. “But I’ll be home soon, so don’t worry.” Stanley stretched out his arms and cracked his neck before getting up from the bed, walking completely naked towards the bathroom.

Xeno lay in bed while his husband was getting ready to leave, he was more sure now than ever about his decision to have a last passionate time with his lover and then letting him go as he couldn’t stop feeling guilty around the blonde by the fact that he hurt their relationship in so many horrific ways.

He couldn’t do it anymore; Stanley didn’t deserve that.

He was a monster. The fact of shame was significant, Xeno felt spontaneously ashamed of himself, of his body and of his life’s decisions; it was a sign and the best was that he needed to stop, to stop before it was too late.

Stanley got out of the shower, kissed one last time Xeno’s puffy lips, grabbed his suitcase and disappeared through the front door with the promise of coming back in two weeks or less if everything worked out well. And Xeno was lonely inside their home; he lay back on their bed and curled himself to sleep, that Saturday morning he didn’t feel like getting up and ready, maybe later, when it was time to meet Senku again.

* * *

“What do you have to think about?” Chrome asked while seeing how his roommate was getting ready to spend the night somewhere else.

Senku was sitting on the floor right in front of the closet, carefully putting inside a small suitcase his clothes, pajamas and underwear. “I just need to see him one last time before making my choice.”

The brunette sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose. “So, what I understand about this is that you’re in love with Tsukasa, your ex-boyfriend that’s willing to take you back after everything and you still need to go see your lover to set your feelings straight?”

“Basically, thanks for listening to my constant blabbering.” The blonde got up and went inside their small bathroom to retrieve his toothpaste, toothbrush and everything he deemed necessary for a one night stand, he chuckled, he sure felt like a whore when thinking about that.

“That’s not what I meant.” Chrome was getting desperate. “I don’t think it is a good idea that you go back there.”

“Why not?” He tossed everything inside the suitcase and carefully closed it. “I need to know and I need to be extremely sure about my feelings before getting involved with Tsukasa.”

“Senku, but that’s not the way.”

“Chrome, please don’t meddle in my affairs…” Senku grabbed the handle of the suitcase and deeply sighed before opening the room’s door. “I know no one can understand my actions and I know that most of my recent decisions are wrong, but it’s something that I need to do before moving on.” His lips were trembling and the grip on the handle got tighter. “I couldn’t forget that man for four years, it was basically impossible and I did everything to come here to the other side of the world in order to see him again.” The blonde felt like crying at any moment but he didn’t want to look so pathetic right in front of his friend. “If I still have feelings for my lover, then I can’t be with Tsukasa…”

Chrome stood up from the bed and pressed his hands on Senku’s shoulders, in a last attempt to stop him from crossing that door. “You can have feelings for two different people and that doesn’t make you a bad person.”

“I don’t want to cheat on Tsukasa…” All the tears he tried to suppress were in vain. “I can’t hurt him that way.” The silvery tears couldn’t stop falling down his cheeks and chin as it hurt to say those words out loud. “I need to know, I’m sorry Chrome but…” There was a dry knot in his throat. “I really need to know how stronger the feelings for my lover are, I can’t move on without knowing…”

“Senku…”

The blonde shook his head and wiped away the tears that couldn’t stop falling and he sadly smiled at his roommate before walking out the dorm room and closing the door behind him. If he stayed in the room for a while longer, he wouldn’t have the courage to leave.

This was something important to him, something to set his feelings straight.

Tsukasa already knew he was towards Xeno’s house and he just gave him a big tight hug in the morning after sharing breakfast together; the least Senku wanted to do was hurt the fighter.

As night fell the blue haze of the day lifted to reveal the shiny stars above his head; Senku felt as if the stars were closer to the truth of his heart and as he continued walking he felt more connected to those bright far away beings, perhaps sensing the own fragility of his heart. Senku sighed deeply and knocked on the door, he was already there, in front of the door where a few weeks ago he left crying after Stanley returned.

The door opened and he was met with the same black orbs that made him feel something similar to love some time ago; those eyes were the deepest shade of the richest abyss and they reflect his own crimson eyes.

They stay silent for a few seconds, just intensely glaring at each other as if any of them were afraid of making the first move; was Xeno also confused about his feelings? There was something in his orbs, like a slight hesitation, like a small regret, but like magnets their bodies slowly started moving towards each other.

Senku closed his eyes just when Xeno’s lips brushed against his, and then the spark woke up from it’s tiny slumber; they didn’t want to kiss goodbye-that was a hell of a lot of trouble-they wanted to kiss good night, and that was a lot of difference.

The door closed behind them and Senku let the suitcase fall to the floor; they didn’t talk, just continued kissing and Xeno lifted him up. The blonde’s arms wrapped around his neck and legs around his waist as he let his lover take him to their sinful bed.

It was as if their bodies were on fire, and as Xeno lay his body on the soft mattress, the moonlight was lining their silhouettes and when they broke off the kiss to take away each other’s clothes it felt slightly different.

Xeno’s kisses were lustful, passionate, a hungry mouth trying to eat him alive, but Senku couldn’t stop picturing Tsukasa’s sweet and soft kisses, as if wanting to take care of him with every press of their lips and to make him feel so cherished. Everything felt so wrong, his heart started aching like an insatiable fire that burnt all the oxygen in his body, leaving him listless and kind of empty inside.

Then he opened his eyes and stared at the black abyss, there was again that weird silence longing between their naked bodies; Xeno was something else, was his lifetime crush, his dear lover. Senku’s arms came up around the albino’s neck and pulled him against his torso; his hands flattened against his soft back and all self-control he’d try to exert over this moment went like water crashing through a broken dam.

The blonde clung to his lover more tightly, knotting his hands in the silvery hair, trying to tell him, with the press of his mouth on his, all the things he couldn’t say out loud:  _ maybe this is our last time, maybe this is our farewell, maybe this wasn’t meant to be _ .

Xeno on the other hand wanted to make this time count as something special, Senku’s shivering body under his touch was to die for, a sight he never wanted to forget, but every time that he closed his eyes, the American couldn’t stop thinking about Stanley, about how his husband thrusted so much in him and here he was, breaking every possible wedding vow for a whim and for an unbridled passion.

The albino shook his head to try to erased his love’s memory, this was supposed to be a special moment between he and his lover; Xeno reached for the lube on the bedside table and squeezed some onto his fingers, gently caressing the blonde’s throbbing hole, sliding a finger inside and hearing his lover’s sweet mewls.

“I missed you…” Those were the first words Xeno said after seeing each other again.

“I missed you too…” It wasn’t a lie, he really did miss his lover, but Senku now couldn’t stop thinking about the brunette and how he felt like cheating on him just to prove a point to himself. Xeno pushed a second and third finger, knuckle deep and he moaned louder; the American really knew how to make him feel special and how to help him reach the stars. Couldn’t he have both? Xeno had both him and Stanley and looked fine, it was possible, right?

When Senku was already stretched out, the American removed the fingers and smiled when the blonde spread his legs wider, leaning his back against the pillows and glaring at him with the sweetest blushed face. Xeno teasingly slid a finger along his lover’s hard cock and Senku whimpered by the touch.

It was a moment full of passion, lust and an intense desire.

As the blonde submitted, the hair on his arms bristled, and he wondered if it was the sharpness of the cold air swirling through the open window or the feel of Xeno’s soft warm skin on his body right when he pushed his cock inside. Senku gasped, he went almost a week without feeling filled inside and it was marvelous, breathtaking and somehow special to be treated this way by his lover; the last of his worries faded and the sensations of his small body took hold.

A great excitement was growing inside of him, and he mewled by feeling the cock in and out of his pink void in a lovely steady rhythm.

“You feel nice…so tight as always.” The American whispered while leaning and kissing the blonde once more, what a sweet and delicious torture was to kiss each other; to taste every sleek little hollow of Senku’s mouth, every damp, tiny crevice of his tongue.

“Fuck me…fuck me harder…” The blonde whimpered and as his lover smirked and did as told, Senku knew he was already losing his mind.

_ We have tried to run from this mistake, but our souls crave this magical fire.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can follow me on twitter for every new fic and chapter update @Dainonico


	11. Being Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> None of them speak of their true intentions. Once their bodies were connected they couldn’t stop; they were at square one and it felt as if they didn’t pass any time apart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! We continue with the angst!! Tysm for continuing reading this story.

None of them speak of their true intentions. Once their bodies were connected they couldn’t stop; they were at square one and it felt as if they didn’t pass any time apart. 

The crimson eyes were the most powerful tool the blonde had, with one look he could relay the most intimate message; a connection was made and words cease to exist. They didn’t dress during the whole weekend, there was no need as they were hungrily touching each other; they fucked a flame into being. 

Xeno was a bit toned and fit; his muscles were moving with a grace Senku hadn’t noticed before, he was hard and sticking straight out. The blonde couldn’t help but look at his cock, so pretty and pink that so easily slid into his now abused pink void; a steady rhythm as they eagerly changed every book position, mouths attached to each other. Xeno loved to sipped at Senku’s lips, teasing him with little nibbling kisses along his soft, full bottom lip before taking his mouth in a deep passionate kiss that weakened even more his already trembling legs. 

And the rare moments when they weren’t fucking like little bunnies, they lay on the bed, fingers interlaced with each other as they talked about science and space, like the couple they were meant to be if they had met in different circumstances, if Xeno wasn’t married and Senku was interested in starting a serious relationship with someone else. 

It was now Monday morning, Xeno took the day off and Senku didn’t feel like attending that day's classes, after such an intense love making weekend, he really needed some rest. The American sat up on the bed and stretched his body while yawning and rubbing the sleep away from his eyes; all his hard thinking and planning about doing it one last time with his lover fell overboard, the passion and forbidden love were stronger and a knot formed inside his throat when he think how once again was hurting Stanley in such a painful and undescriptible way. 

“How’s your boyfriend?” Xeno asked while brushing the blonde locks of hair. Senku was sprawled on his stomach, naked save for the white sheet that had wrapped itself around one beautiful white snow calf; his loose blonde green tip hair slid over, framing his petite face as he tirely exhaled. 

“He isn’t my boyfriend.” And how would Tsukasa be? After spending the whole weekend with his lover and not answering any of the brunette’s text messages. He wanted to cry after thinking straight once again, he surely was a monster that was trapped in a bottomless and unworthy relationship. “And after this weekend I bet he’ll never be.” Senku hid his embarrassed face on the pillow, puffing loudly and feeling extremely asshamed of himself. 

Xeno couldn’t stop smiling, if Senku remained single then they could keep their lovely agreement. Then he gulped, Saturday night was supposed to be their goodbye, but how could he avoid touching his lover’s body? It was perfect, slim and so soft; Xeno loved Stanley dearly, he was the love of his life and dreams, but there was something about possessing a young body that he couldn’t stop doing it. Senku was his little dose of drug. “And do you want him to be your boyfriend?” The American thought it was rude to ignore the blonde’s small tantrum.

Senku sighed and sat on the bed, knees down on the mattress and hands resting on his lap; he looked at his lover through hooded eyes and quirk his thick lips. As if he wanted him all over again, but he shook his head, knowing everything was wrong. “I would really like it.” He chuckled. “I don’t know if I told you but I even broke up with him before coming to America.”

Xeno arched an eyebrow. “Really? Didn’t know.” 

“Yeah, that’s because we don’t talk much...we just…” Senku’s brain was telling his small cock to shut up and stop using up so much blood or he could get hard again.

“Fuck.”

A deep blush invaded the blonde’s cheeks as he tried to avoid the dark glare. “Well, yes.” 

Xeno got a little bit closer and placed his hand on the blonde’s cheek, kissing his forehead and embracing the thin body. “And you don’t like it?”

“I love it, that’s the problem.” Senku’s arms slid up and down his lover’s back, inhaling deeply and resting his head against Xeno’s chest. 

“I love it too.” 

“But you have Stanley and I have no one.” 

“So you only want a boyfriend to not feel lonely?” 

“What?” That comment hurt the blonde deeply, that’s not how he thought about when being with Tsukasa. “With Tsukasa is different, we can go out in public, have dates and kiss even if people are watching us.” He pulled back from the embrace and glared at the black abyss, a bit hurt by the words but mostly by what he was losing by being with Xeno. 

Xeno sighed deeply. “You knew how things were going to be since we started this.”

“This.” Senku was getting mad. “I knew how things were, I know I accepted this deal.” He was feeling so ashamed of his past decisions and as the tears began dripping down his puffed cheeks, hands turning into fists and his shoulders began shaking. “But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.” 

The American rested his hands on the blonde’s shoulders, not really knowing what to do. “You know I want you, it’s not a secret I tried to hide.” He wiped some of the silvery tears but they were too much. “I know you want me.” Xeno lifted the blonde’s chin, forcing him to face him once more. “You know our hands are tied.” 

“Your hands are the ones tied.” Senku furrowed his eyes. “Every time Stanley is at home you get out of reach from me.” He kept crying, it felt as if his soul was wepting and no matter what the blonde did, there was no way to stop the tears. “You’re here deep in my heart and I don’t know what to do.” 

Xeno was at a loss of words, he barely expected that something like this may happen, that Senku would receive attention elsewhere and that doubts started clouding his mind. “You are not obliged to be with me.” 

“Don’t you think I know that?!” A low wail left his throat and he pushed Xeno’s chest away from him, getting free from his grip. “You think it is easy for me? I came here on Saturday with the idea of ending this and you…” He felt Xeno’s lips against his own and how the American was pushing his back against the mattress. 

Senku sighed into his mouth, eager for more, desperate for the kiss as the tears kept rolling down his face; Xeno pressed closer to him, eager for his lover's warmth and as a ribbon of fire curled in his stomach, he emitted a low growl in the back of his throat. He had though exactly the same as Senku, to end things after a last goodbye sex session, but his thin body was so addictive that he didn’t want to stop during the whole weekend and now by knowing that his lover also wanted to end things, something within their soul was trying to avoid it. 

_ Things couldn’t end this way.  _

Senku was still crying but receiving the kiss and touches so complying, it was a weird mixed of emotions. Xeno knew that there was nothing more for them, this is the most they could get out of their forbidden relationship, for it to continue being a secret behind closed doors and to meet on certain days during certain hours. Nothing more, just that. It was plain and simple, but was it worth it?

A phone rang. 

“Wait, don’t move.” Xeno said while breaking the kiss to stand up and grabbing his phone from the bedside table. “Hi, no. I’m not busy.” 

Senku sat once more on the bed and his lover’s voice was just confirming what he had previously though. This wasn’t worth it, Xeno could promise him the moon while they were alone, but once Stanley returned to his life, the American would always prefer his husband over him. 

He just felt so stupid at the moment, to traveled to the other side of the world to be with a man that only was devoted when it suited him, of having given the American his virginity and lovely devotion; it hurt, his heart ached so deeply, but maybe it was a good sign to have a broken heart as it meant they had tried for something even if that something was impossible. 

Senku needed to move quickly before having more second thoughts. 

The blonde didn’t wait for Xeno to finish the call, he just got out of the bed and quickly dressed himself with Saturday’s dirty wrinkled clothes. If he could glare at himself in the mirror, he would see what a mess he was; messy hair, blushed cheeks and swollen eyes from all the crying. 

Xeno was still lost in the phone call, beautiful smiling and even giggling at everything his husband was telling him. Senku’s stomach twisted just by that image and he whispered goodbye before sneaking out the front door. 

It was early in the morning, he didn’t even have breakfast nor a bath during the whole weekend as both didn’t want to get separated from being afraid of breaking the illusion, an illusion that shattered like a ruined mirror the moment Stanley called. The blonde was walking outside the street, hugging himself and not really knowing what to do, he couldn’t complain to Xeno, that was useless and just a foreseeable consequence of their sinful actions. 

Addiction was the hallmark of their strange and vain attempt at a love story; it all began as seeing Xeno more than a crush, an object of utter adoration that made him hallucinate about a possible future together full of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Senku was craving his lover’s attention and devotion as if it was a hungry obsession of any junkie and when Stanley came back and Xeno’s love was withheld, he promptly turn sick, sad and neglected; that was until Tsukasa came and kissed him so tenderly while listening to his constant whining and professing such a pure and noble love. 

_Tsukasa._

Senku rubbed his face between his hands as he knew that he had been wrong in all his love decisions; the blonde didn’t answer the text messages, he was being held and thrust by Xeno that the world around him disappeared. Could he do it? Did he have the right to talk to Tsukasa? 

It was better that continue wandering the streets alone as he also didn’t want to return defeated to his dorm room and face Chrome, tell him about how stupid his decison was and even if that weekend felt magical, he now was feeling more hurt than before; perhaps because now he knew that Xeno’s door was open, but only as a lustful relationship, not as a serious and long lasting love. 

Senku took his phone out and glared at the brightly lit screen and swallowed hard before texting. The wind was blowing and it felt as if the air was singing to him, to stir his emotions and brought sweet memories of his time with Tsukasa back at home and all the hopes for a good future ahead. Maybe it was still possible, he’ll have to try; the wind was reminding the blonde that he was here in this present moment and he could still change his future. 

Tsukasa🦁  
  
I'm sorry  
  


The wind was rustling in the trees all around him, he kept walking, now towards the Waterfront Hotel; Tsukasa was still staying there, this was the brunette’s last week before returning to Japan. 

Tsukasa🦁  
  
I'm sorry  
  
For what?  
  
For disappearing this weekend. I don’t even have words to express myself, we had so much fun on Saturday and I just went to talk to him at night but…  
  


It was hard to keep typing. What he would say? That he fucked Xeno? It was pretty obvious. 

Tsukasa 🦁  
  
Where are you?  
  
Outside the hotel, I'm sorry. I just started walking and ended up here.  
  
Come to my room. Fifth floor, room 512.  
  
Are you sure?  
  
Never been more sure in my life  
  


  
  


Senku felt like breathing again, more tears were running down his cheeks, but now he wasn’t ashamed to weep, it was his right to grieve for a forbidden love and to give himself an opportunity with another kind of love. They say a wounded heart can heal in time and when it does, the memory and love of what it could be is sealed inside to comfort us by showing what we gain in return. 

The blonde stepped inside the hotel and almost ran towards the elevator, the doors opened and he was panting for air, pressing a button in the wall and the elevator lurched into action with a vibrating groan that Senku felt all through the bones in his feet. He was feeling nervous as the floor numbers were changing and he almost contained his respiration when the elevator suddenly stopped on the fifth floor. This was it. 

They say that when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same; Senku walked down the hall, looking for the room number and before he found it a door opened on it’s own and Tsukasa peeked his head outside, smiling at Senku and running towards him, holding his slim body in a tight embrace and swirling him in the air. Maybe it was possible that Tsukasa was missing him as much as he was missing him right now; how horrible the blonde felt and new silvery tears dripped down his chin as he wrapped his arms around the brunette’s neck. 

Senku held tightly into the embrace, legs also wrapping around the fighter’s waist. “I’m sorry.” He wailed and Tsukasa walked them towards the room, closing the door behind them. 

“You’re here now.” 

“But I…” Tsukasa’s lips interrupted his words and Senku felt even bad; he was sure Xeno’s taste was still lingering inside his mouth. “I don’t deserve this…” He said while breaking off the kiss. 

“Don’t say that.”

“I was with him…”

“I know.”

“And you don’t care?”

“I care that you’re right here with me.” Tsukasa kissed him again, but this time it felt different, like a first kiss with the person that would change your life. When their lips touched after being apart, the earth felt like it stopped moving, but at the same moment the world was spinning all around them. It felt like fireworks in the night sky, like a bright light in the darkness of his soul; Senku’s heart was beating faster and when they pulled apart and the brunette left his feet touching the floor, he opened his eyes and got lost into the autumn forest. 

* * *

Senku was taking a bath. The steam was floating all around the bathroom and he was letting his body sink into the warm perfumated water; he knew what his body wanted to do and how eager Tsukasa was to continue with their kiss, but it felt so wrong to let the brunette touch his used body. He grabbed a washcloth and tried to remove every kiss and every caress that Xeno left in him during that weekend; Senku didn’t want to cry more about his lover, but it felt like getting rid of something so dearly important for him. 

Sometimes when Senku looked at the American’s sleepy face, he felt like gazing at a distant star, dazzling and beautiful in every single way, but his light was from tens of thousands of years ago and that star had a different owner and even if that light seemed more real to the blonde than anything else, he knew that it wasn’t shining for him. 

The blonde sighed and got out of the tub, wrapping a towel around his waist and exiting the bathroom. When he opened the door he saw how Tsukasa was laying on the bed, watching an action movie on the TV screen but turning it off the moment Senku was crawling on top of the mattress. 

“We don’t have to do this right now.” Tsukasa smiled and brushed his hand on the blonde’s burning cheek. 

“I want to.” Senku got a little bit closer, leaning into the touch. 

“You don’t know how much time I waited for this moment.” The brunette was brushing his nose against the blonde’s, smelling the violet perfume that was now lingering on his recently clean body. 

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting.”

“It was worth the waiting.” 

One kiss can change things, but if it’s done right, a kiss can change everything. Tsukasa’s hands started working their way all around Senku’s body, savouring and feeling every inch of his warm skin, he removed the towel and the blonde opened his legs on command, exposing his small hard cock. Tsukasa got rid of his own clothes and both glared at each other’s body, it was the first time they were admiring every muscle and every lunar. It was slow and tender, how their mouths were molding to each other and how Senku was already receiving every single kiss and sensing every slight caress. Soft gentle kisses that were turning into hard and desperate ones, brief brushes of their lips that seemed to go on for hours and it was totally different from what he had experienced with Xeno; less lustful, more lovingly. 

Tsukasa’s hand cupped around his cock and Senku leaned back moaning in ecstasy; the fighter buried his tongue deep inside his mouth as his hand was giving slow hard strokes. “I had only dreamed of touching you.” and the blonde mewled by the sweet words, he was literally melting into his power.

The fighter coated his fingers with some lube and pushed one inside the throbbing hole, and then two and then three, not being annoyed by how Senku was already stretched out; there was no point in talking about that, Senku was right here with him and he wouldn’t change that for anything in the world, Tsukasa only hoped that at their next time he would be the one to fully prepared the blonde’s body. 

The heat in the room seemed to climb a few degrees and Senku took a deep breath, looking for Tsukasa’s hand and interlacing their fingers together. He couldn’t believe he was doing this right here and beneath his ex-boyfriend; the brunette swore softly beside his ear. “You’ll be mine.” and Senku moaned when the hard cock pushed inside his pink void

Tsukasa’s eyes were open, watching the blonde’s flushed face and his ragged breathing; Senku was trying to stop himself from making embarrassing noises, but the brunette begged him to continue with his sweet symphony. It felt so intimate and pure the way they were touching each other. 

Senku clinged into him; nails digging into the brunette’s back as his thoughts were splintering and the single last thing inside his head was that maybe he could finally forget about Xeno, that he was liking Tsukasa's attention and that he was feeling important with every single touch. 

The fighter’s hips were rocking against his hole, both of them were lost into their own new world while the slapping of skin and lovely moans were filling every corner of the room. Senku’s cock was bouncing freely against his stomach and Tsukasa was outlining his perky nipples. 

Senku stole a quick red glance at Tsukasa; his searing brown gaze sent a huge warmth spreading through his body and their faces meet once more, kisses growing in intensity; his chest was moving with heavy breaths, knowing his orgasm was near. Kissing Tsukasa had left his lower lip moist and swollen and a slight smile crossed his face as Senku let out a loud whimper, scattering a string of shining stars that dirtied their stomachs and his hole clenched around the brunette’s cock as he was feeling the warm milk filling him so good inside. 

Their gazes remained connected and small kisses were shared, drinking away every soft breath of Tsukasa. This moment was perfect, one of a kind and as their bodies rolled over on the bed to be laying right next to each other, the soft kisses continued while their hearts tried to stop beating so hard against their chests. 

Senku’s phone had been vibrating since he entered Tsukasa’s hotel room, but he didn’t hear it nor did he want to look at it as he preferred to be lost into an autumn leaf forest.

_ I think I’m done being broken, because when I look at you all I can see is only joy. _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can follow me on twitter for every new fic and update @Dainonico


	12. The Heart was Made to be Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn’t a long walk towards Xeno’s home but it sure felt like it. Heart pounding hard against his chest while ke shyly knocked on the door; a door a few months ago he was eager to cross and meet with his lover’s lips and gentle touches, but now after living a whole pure relationship with Tsukasa, Senku was finally getting that he deserved much more than a secret between four walls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! Welcome to Chapter 7, tysm for continuing reading the story. I really appreciated all your comments and kudos

The sunlight was outlining his warm naked skin; a soft breeze from the opened balcony window caressed his nipples and played with his small hard length. It felt as if the world wasn’t moving inside the hotel room; just in the distance, on the street, Senku could hear the passing cars, the monotonous songs of the birds and how the wind was playing with the tree’s leaves.

His hand palms were resting on Tsukasa’s chest, caressing every inch of skin as his excitement mounted his new lover’s cock. Senku arched his back, feeling each bounce stronger than the last one, heavily breathing and cheeks blushed in a cute tone of champagne pink. He was at the complete mercy of the fighter, strong hands carefully positioned on his slim waist as they both enjoyed the strange enchantment of the situation; two people that fell in love a few time ago that even if the relationship was broken, there was still some space for a new love. 

Senku was wishing that the moments where he stood naked against Tsukasa’s body would never end; each bounce caused his cock to leak strings of precum against the brunette’s stomach. The moans were eagerly mixing with the street sounds and Senku giggled when the fighter rolled their bodies and lied his back down against the blankets and puffy pillows; Tsukasa always procured to take care of him, covering the blonde’s body with his own to meet him halfway in an unending kiss.

“I like you.”

Senku’s mouth was parted, warm breath against each other’s lips. “Tsu…” The cock was filling him so nice and good; his body was trembling with every new thrust and his legs wrapped around the brunette’s waist to pull him closer and hands reaching to cup Tsukasa’s cheeks. “I still don’t...Ah!.” He closed his eyes for an instant after feeling another thrust. “I still don’t know why you like me.” 

Tsukasa chuckled and kissed those swollen pink lips, pressing his forehead against Senku’s. “I like your body.” One kiss. “I like your way of being.” A second kiss. “I like how you melt with my affection.” A third kiss. “But mostly. I like every single bit of you, every small fragment and atom of what your perfect body is made of.” The fighter was having a hard time going slowly, cock teasingly pulling out and in to feel every spasm of the blonde’s body and to drink every moan that escaped from his lips. “Be with me Senku and I’ll give you everything that you ever wanted.” 

“Tsukasa…” Senku felt as if he didn’t deserve those lovely feelings, not after everything he had done to the brunette, breaking up with him and disappearing into another country to pursue a forbidden love, but now he was finally realizing that perhaps here in Tsukasa’s arms was where he was supposed to be since the very beginning. 

Senku still missed Xeno and still longed for his teacher’s touches, but Tsukasa was more real, more devoted and more willing to make him part of his life and that meant the world to the blonde. He didn’t realize it before, but he was getting tired of the four walls, the secrets and the constant feeling of being Xeno’s second choice. 

Stanley was and is Xeno’s first and only love, there isn’t a space for him inside the albino’s heart, just moments of lust and blind passion; nothing more and perhaps even less. 

“I also like you.” Senku answered after allowing Tsukasa to lay his lips against his and pushing his hot tongue into his mouth, to kiss him until the blonde couldn’t breath. 

Those words were all it took for the fighter to embrace tightly the body beneath him and to rock his hips fiercely against the pink void, groaning with how every sweet movement was causing Senku’s inner walls to clamp around his cock. The beautiful submission of the blonde’s body was intoxicating to the brunette.

Tsukasa reached his peak and he moaned loudly as his milky seed poured right inside the blonde’s wet pink void and he got excited when Senku followed him through, hole trapping the fighter’s cock, trying to milk him for everything he was worth while mewling with a high pitch and losing himself into the shiny hazel eyes; his pearly seed splattered against their stomachs and the blonde felt how the air was slowly returning to his exhausted lungs. 

The fighter was treating him like a natural beauty, one that once you met you have to treat them as if it was the first and last time, just now, Tsukasa promised himself that Senku wouldn’t escape from his hands again. He waited so much for him and was patient with the blonde’s love problems and indecisions and he couldn’t believe that Senku had accepted to be with him instead of with his lover. 

Senku whined the moment Tsukasa pulled out his now flaccid cock and he let out a loud sigh when the cum and lube started dripping out of his swollen hole. “It feels so good inside me.” He wasn’t ashamed of doing so lewd talking, cheeks still deeply blushed by the way Tsukasa kept admiring his slim body. 

“And for me it feels so good to be inside you.” He teased, tucking the golden locks behind Senku’s ear. 

They say you need to be in love with how your lover loves you, with their strong consideration and emotional warmth, with their need to care for you and listen to your soul deeply. And Senku wanted to shred tears of joy because Tsukasa was that and more; that only helped him feel every bit worse with himself, like a whore and like a lustful slut. 

Tsukasa rolled his body and lay just beside him, strong arms wrapping around his body, pulling him closer to the fighter’s chest and Senku was only wishing for the brunette to never stop squeezing him, for spending their lives together as he was liking the feeling of being slightly crushed by someone who loved him. 

And Senku did love him back. 

The rest of the week they established a lovely routine, one that the blonde could easily get used to. They woke up late, normally Tsukasa would kiss his whole face and Senku would giggle and open his eyes to stare so hopelessly in love at the autumn leaves, cuddling to the fighter and nuzzling their noses against each other. Then they would have breakfast inside the room, and while Tsukasa went training, Senku would rest and read some scientific articles in a vain attempt of not falling behind everyone at class; classes he didn’t attend for the whole week as he was afraid of bumping into Xeno and how not? If he was also his teacher.

At night Tsukasa would take him out on a date, choosing different restaurants, walking in a nearby park to enjoy each other’s company by holding hands and kissing under the stars down the Boston dim light streets. And right after returning to the hotel room, the clothes would eagerly disappear and they would dance between the sheets as Tsukasa would kiss his eyelids again, then his lips and trail down his jawline and neck; continuing the kisses past the point where he usually broke them off, pulling a slight away just to engulf completely the blonde’s small cock. 

Senku would moan Tsukasa’s name into the night; both getting used to a slow, rhythmic, gentle moving of their bodies. Senku was nothing but pure body beneath the brunette's lovely grip, there wasn’t pain just a sweet spasms that went through his body and they would continue until their bodies were all sweaty and exhausted; ready to cuddle together during the whole night, feeling each others heartbeat and letting their breath to mingle in the air.

It was Tsukasa’s last week in America and it was in Senku’s thought to spend every single day together; the brunette’s important fight was set to be on Friday night and the blonde wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world. 

Senku tried the hardest to ignore the continuous calls and incoming text messages from Xeno; that day he just left his home without turning back, but his guts twisted by the idea of answering him. Were they still lovers? Or was everything over now?

That Thursday afternoon, Senku was laying in bed while waiting for Tsukasa to come back from the intense training when he noticed his phone kept constantly ringing. He deeply sighed and glared at it.

Dr X   
  
**Monday** 10:15 PM   
Please don't ignore me.   
**Tuesday** 9:05 AM   
Hello? Where are you?   
Are you going to answer me?   
I’m sorry. I know I can’t promise you more than just being lovers but it’s what I got.   
**Wednesday** 8:23 PM   
That's fine, don't answer.   
You haven’t even attended lectures. Don’t fail the semester for our strange love problems. Love huh? Was there any love?    
**Thursday** 5:33 PM   
Senku, you forgot your IPad at my home. I now know that you don’t want to answer any of my messages but if you don’t pick it up I’m tossing it. I don't really care about it right now.

Senku wasn’t going to answer the last message, but then he sighed deeply and desperately brushed his hair away from his face. He really needed that IPad since he had important documents saved there and it was too expensive to just toss it in Xeno’s place; the blonde thought about it for a moment, knowing fully well that the moment he knocked on the albino’s door a fight or discussion will ensue. 

Senku had already tried to cut ties with Xeno the moment he kicked him out of the apartment when Stanley returned from overseas, he was already hurt and slowly realizing that perhaps the relationship didn’t had any future, but the moment Xeno followed him into the college’s restroom, he succumbed to the touches, kisses and caresses to only set the strange deal on meeting some days of the week to fuck like wild bunnies behind Stanley’s back. 

The blonde’s sigh was softly deflating; it was as if a tension had sort of lifted from his shoulders yet it left him with a melancholy instead of relief. It was something he needed to do in order to recover what it was and to close that chapter of his life. 

Tsukasa 🦁   
  
I'm going to his house to recover my IPad.   
  
What IPad?   
  
I forgot it at his place. I need it back.   
  
Want me to accompany you? I can get off my training   
  
No, I know it’s important for your upcoming match. It won’t take long.    
  
Please trust me. ❤️   
  
I trust you. ❤️❤️❤️   
  


Senku was feeling bad enough, but he didn’t want to leave the hotel room without Tsukasa knowing about his whereabouts. It was better to be honest and try to finish this once and for all as he now knew that his happiness was right at the brunette’s side.

Tsukasa 🦁   
  
Thank you. I won’t take long.   
  
Please tell me when you’re back at the hotel   
Of course. Enjoy your training   
  
Haha, I’ll try. It’s getting tough.   
😘.

* * *

It wasn’t a long walk towards Xeno’s home but it sure felt like it. Heart pounding hard against his chest while ke shyly knocked on the door; a door a few months ago he was eager to cross and meet with his lover’s lips and gentle touches, but now after living a whole pure relationship with Tsukasa, Senku was finally getting that he deserved much more than a secret between four walls. 

He chuckled to himself when rambling around those thoughts as he was sure he was the sole reason for the development of that strange relationship with Xeno. Senku was the one who had the initial crush, the one who first kissed Xeno and the one who set the roots for their odd kind of love; even if Senku dreaded to admit it, he did love the American and he really wanted to be forever by his side.

The blonde had to get over him. For days a stone had been sitting on his heart, he’d shed a lot of tears for the albino, but immediately Tsukasa lighted the way and Senku didn’t feel as lost as before. So he was trying to move on as life would be hell if he didn’t shake loose the grip Xeno had on his heart.

The door opened and Senku sighed. “Hi.” 

“Come in.”

“I just came for my IPad.” Senku definitely didn’t want to keep feeling this way, alone in a love affair where Stanley received all the love and devotion while he was only a fun time for the American’s spare time.

“I know, but I also think we have to talk.”

“I-I can’t...please give me my things back.” Senku pleaded, knowing fully well that his heart and body were weak. 

“We can’t end things like this.” Xeno was glaring at the crimson eyes and noticing the sad demeanor. “You just left and didn’t even explain why nor answer any of my calls and messages.”

“I know you still want me.” Senku took a deep breath before continuing. “But we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen, I know this is all my fault for being a nosy brat who didn’t get a no for an answer.” Tears started running down the blonde’s cheeks, even if he had already prepared his words and wanted everything to be over, he couldn’t forget the fact that Xeno was his first in everything and wanted him deeply, but Tsukasa was the true love of his life, not just a crush.

Xeno took a few steps to embrace the blonde, missing the contact that they used to have and Senku continued crying, feeling the pain that he thought he could imagine how much it was going to hurt when ending things with his lover, but he was totally wrong. It was worse. 

Their eyes were glaring at each other, millions of doubts filling their minds and how they always said or thought the same thing, that this was the last time, that they should finish the affair, that they should respect their loved ones. But what if this really was the last time?

Xeno pulled Senku a little bit closer and the blonde didn’t resist the embrace. “Why?” Senku asked. 

The American just slid down one hand on the blonde’s slim waist and the other behind his neck, lowering his lips on Senku’s and the blonde closed his eyes, melting as his whole body was being consumed in that kiss. Xeno was nothing. Xeno was everything. And Senku cried harder into the kiss as he was afraid of never being able to escape from the affair that he longed since so many years ago. 

Chills were running over the blonde’s skin as a passionate fire was burning deep inside. Their bodies pressed closer together and Senku couldn’t avoid his arms to wrap around Xeno’s neck; the American’s lips were warmer and softer, just how the blonde remembered them from every lustful night that they used to spend together. Senku was responding hungrily, tightening his hold on him; fingers sliding down the back of Xeno’s neck, tracing its shape and every place they touched was electrifying. But perhaps the worst part of all was that Senku felt an intense and painful guilt, he constantly loved to analyze the world around him and in that moment, in Xeno’s embrace, Senku stopped thinking. Again.

And it was glorious. 

At least it was until Senku started thinking again. Right after hearing a shocked voice behind them. 

“Xeno?”

Both lovers stopped making out; the American’s brain stutters for a moments and his black orbs were taking in more light than he could expected, every part of him goes on pause while his thoughts were trying to catch up; eyes filling with thousands of tears, his lips were trembling and he almost pushed Senku out of the way. It was a look of pure and horrible shock; a look that the blonde had never seen before.

Stanley was just a few steps away from them, feeling a great impact that knocked every wisp of air from his lungs and he stood there struggling to inhale, to exhale, to do anything. He was feeling dumb while trying to remember how to breath, unable to speak and totally stunned as the image of Senku and Xeno passionately kissing bounces around inside his skull. 

The sniper dropped a bouquet of flowers. “I got promoted to major…” He dryly coughed. “And they let me come home early…”

“Stan...I”

“SHUT UP!”

“Stan...I can explain it…” Hot tears were running down the albino’s face. 

Stanley covered his quivering mouth with one hand as those painful pictures from the past were finally making sense. Senku living in their house, Xeno getting late from work and showing up with a hickey he swore Stanley gave him, the strange looks, the suspicious calls...everything was making sense now. And as painful tears were dirtying his face he angrily glared at Senku. “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE.”

“Stan…” Xeno cried. 

Senku didn’t know what to do, his legs weren’t moving and he yelped when Stanley slapped his face. It was a whiplash, square on the face; the smack of flesh striking flesh echoed around them. 

“I won’t say it again brat, get the fuck out.” 

The blonde started running, leaving Xeno behind with a hurt and angry husband but Senku couldn't do anything, just cry while he started running back to the hotel. He had gone on a mission and once again committed a huge mistake, ruining the American’s love life and possibly his own with Tsukasa. 

  
  
  


_The heart was made to be broken._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on twitter for every new fic and chapter updates @Dainonico


	13. Broken Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can’t believe you did this to me...to us.” The sniper was crying, hot big tears streaming down his cheeks as he shoved his husband inside their home. When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them, but how to comfort the other person when you’re also crying and without a clue on how to solve the freaking mess you’re into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg welcome to the angst.

“Stan…”

“I can’t believe you did this to me...to us.” The sniper was crying, hot big tears streaming down his cheeks as he shoved his husband inside their home. When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them, but how to comfort the other person when you’re also crying and without a clue on how to solve the freaking mess you’re into?

“Please…” Xeno sobbed as he was being dragged through the house and tossed face first into the bed. “Let me explain…”

Stanley got on top of him and screamed. “SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP” A horrible mix of emotions were swirling inside his mind, a dreadful sadness, sense of betrayal but overall an intense anger. “What are you going to explain? That it was a mistake? That you didn’t mean to do it? That it was a one time thing? THAT I WAS ALWAYS FUCKING AWAY?” The sniper wetly chuckled while rubbing a hand over his head. “I’ve heard it all Xeno, that’s what always happens to my comrates and I was dumb enought to think my lovely husband was always happily waiting for me.” 

He rolled over Xeno’s body so their eyes could meet, the black abyss into the deep blue sea that was now clouded with an intense and wild storm. “But of course you were happy here, while that stupid brat was fucking you, right?” 

“No…” Xeno shook his head and tried to cup the blonde’s face with one hand but Stanley slapped it away. 

“Don’t you dare touch me…” It’s easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend or a lover and Stanley now knew it pretty well, how his husband’s treason was burning him alive. Stanley lifted the albino’s chin to admire his sad and scared face, both hands clasping at the puffy cheeks that slowly slid down to Xeno’s throat. The sniper felt his heart ache, thinking he had forgotten that dreadful feeling since so long ago; hands slightly squeezing the skin between his fingers as he wanted to punish him, to make the albino feel as bad as he was. 

Stanley screamed as he couldn’t do it, he wasn’t that kind of monster and Xeno took a deep breath, for once fearing what was happening between them. “Did he fuck you?” The sniper coldly asked. 

“No…” 

“Then what did you two do together?” The sniper clasped tightly on the American’s cheeks. “Don’t tell me that nothing, Xeno. That fucking kiss didn’t seem like nothing.” 

A horrible silence invaded their bedroom as Xeno didn’t want to talk and just pathetically sobbed into his husband’s grip, not really knowing how to come clean about all the dreadful things that he did behind his back. 

Stanley couldn’t take it any longer. “What did you do?” He started stripping Xeno out of his clothes, hating that his husband wasn’t opposing any resistance, just painfully crying as he did what he thought was right. He needed to know. 

Xeno was bare naked on their bed. A bed now the sniper felt corrupted and he lifted the albino’s legs to glare at his hole. “Are you going to tell me?” 

Silence again as no words could escape the albino’s lips, just crystal tears that kept dirtying his face. If Xeno wasn’t crying like that, then Stanley could think it was just a stupid kiss, but his partner’s tears and heart breaking sobs were meaning of something bigger and horrible for him to hear. 

He pushed two fingers inside. Dry and without any proper preparation, causing Xeno to cry in pain, but Stanley didn’t care. He needed to know. 

A sigh of relief left the blonde’s lips and he brushed away the hair away from his face; the albino was still tight right there, no cock had wandered into his pink void, just Stanley, but he still couldn’t calmed his inner anger as he noticed Xeno continue weeping. 

“He didn’t fuck you…” Stanley whispered. 

Xeno shook his head, covering his shameful face with both palms as his chest was rising and falling, not really knowing what to do. The blonde leaned a bit closer, lips softly brushing his husband’s ear; his heart was aching hard and painful as he gained the courage to ask another question. “Did you fuck him?” 

Whatever can silence be for? The quietness of the bedroom was growing deeper and the blonde could hear his own steady rhythm from within. The sniper patiently waited for his husband’s answer, not moving his body a slight bit and Xeno pursed his lips to finally express a single word. 

“Yes…” Xeno was crying so hard that it was hurting his throat; it was out of frustration by knowing that there was nothing he could do or attempt to change the situation, their situation. 

Stanley felt broken now, shattered really, robbed early of the tape and glue necessary to put his soul back together. His heart, poorly stapled shut, was beating hard but without purpose and his skin was stretching across his aching muscles like a worn canvas as he couldn’t believe Xeno had finally confessed. 

The blonde’s mind was now lost like a man at sea, desperate and startving for some reason to continue and his thoughts were clouded with wild storms and thunders. In a desperate attempt he removed the fingers for the hole and quickly unbuckled his belt, taking out his cock and stroking it hard as he felt no a single spark of arousal but a burning fire that wanted to completely comsume the body beneath him. 

He wanted to punish him, to show him how hurt he was and how he had become a ravish monster because of him. Stanley didn’t use lube and didn’t use spit. He just pushed his cock inside the rim of muscles and admired how his love’s body completely arched in an unbelievable pain. 

“Stan…” Xeno sobbed. “Stan, it hurts…”

Stanley shook his head. “No dear, you’re the one that hurt me.” 

The blonde was desperate for a memory, something good, warm, welcoming, one that he could smile to, but right now it was difficult to focus on every beautiful moment between them as Stanley could only picture Senku on their bed, being kissed and touched by his lovely husband. He was getting sick to his stomach and still kept pounding against the traitor; hands gripping tightly into Xeno’s waist, leaving red bruises as the slapping of their skins wasn't doing any good. 

“I’m sorry…” Xeno was trying to talk, removing the hands from his face and swollen eyes trying to look at his husband’s angry glare. “I’m sorry, it was a mistake…” 

Stanley was groaning and he didn’t want to, looking how Xeno’s cock was pathetically bouncing up and down, already hard and leaking precum despite the rough treatment. He shook his head as fat tears streamed down his cheeks. “The cruel thing here…” He sighed. “Is that the mistake was mine, for trusting you...I don’t know you anymore Xeno.” 

The sniper cultivated his love for Xeno since high school and he thought the both of them had allowed their most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known within each other; they had a spiritual connection that grew with their constant trust, respect, kindness and affection, but Xeno had betrayed everything. All their years and moments together, even their sacred marriage; everything. 

Love wasn’t something Stanley gave so easily to anybody; he carefully nurtured and grew his love for Xeno. 

Now the thoughts of shame, blame, disrespect and betrayel were running wild inside his head as the roots of their love were already damaged, even severed. 

“Who the fuck are you, Xeno?” Stanley sobbed, lips quivering and stopping his harsh thrusts. “You’re even horny for me treating you this badly…” 

“Stan…” The black orbs were swollen beyond recognition. “Stan, do as you please...just forgive me. I’m so sorry. It didn’t mean a thing.” 

The blonde tightly gripped the albino’s neck and forced their eyes to meet once more. “How long?” 

“Wh-What?” 

“For how long you made fun of me?”

“It doesn’t matter.” 

“IT FUCKING MATTERS.” The slap was as loud as a clap and it stung his face. It had been an open-handed smack and it had left a red welt behind. 

Xeno caressed his own bruised cheek and a wail escaped from his trembling lips. Eyes watering as he also didn’t recognize the man that was on top of him; they sweared eternal love and devotion on their wedding day, to always see for the good of their marriage and be there for each other in spite of everything. 

“Since…” Xeno swallowed hard. “Since the schoolyear started.”

“He was living here...right?”

The albino shyly nodded, avoiding the deep blue sea as he felt like drowning into the cold water. His chest was continuing to fill with an intense and powerful sadness. Xeno was quiet, defeated and ashamed of himself and he thought that no one could possibly understand how bad he was feeling inside. 

Stanley pulled out of the abused red hole. He couldn’t reach his own orgasm and the thrusts were getting slowler. “You lie about everything…”

“I’m sorry…” Xeno suddenly lost his extense and elegant vocabulary and gasped when the cock left him empty; he was damaged and it stung with a great intensity as it felt almost like being burned alive. 

“I was sure I didn’t make you that hickey and you still try to blame me for it…” Stanley was in shock, pure and painful shock. 

Xenos scrambled on the bed and tried to sit on his knees. He hugged himself, body bare naked and even bruised, but he felt like deserving every punishment Stanley saw right. “I was scared…”

“Of me finding out?”

The albino nodded quietly as large sobs left his throat. It was a hurting tune, resigned, a cry of his intense heartache as he was seeing his world crumbling apart. Xeno looked up and Stanley knew with that one glance, one look, one simple instant; the dark, haunted and deeply sad orbs. Most of all though, those eyes were familiar; it reminded Stanley how happy he was when they exchanged their first kiss, when he proposed, when they got married and when they started living together. 

“I’ve found more than just a betrayal…” Xeno’s actions were flooding Stanley’s senses, feeling even defenseless as his own murals were collapsing down. 

“What do you mean?”

“Our lives are a lie…” He cupped with one hand Xeno’s bruised cheek. “I thought you were happy with waiting for me to be back. We made love every single day I was home.” It was hard to talk; Stanley entered the marriage with hearts in his blue eyes and forever script on his lips and he cried harder, a glassy layer of tears preventing him from seeing his husband’s quivering figure. “And it wasn’t enough for you…”

Xeno held onto the blonde’s hand. “It was a mistake…”

Stanley shook his head. “One time is a mistake...I’m sure you fuck him like a rabbit in heat.” An anger escaped through the blonde’s mouth and he tossed Xeno back into the mattress as he stood up from their bed and locked himself in the bathroom. Back against the door and slowly sliding down. Stanley was sobbing the way he did everything, with passion and excess; long wails that echoed across the four walls and hiding his teary face between his hands. 

Xeno got desperate and as he could he crawled out of the bed and into the floor, kneeling down before the closed door and pounding hard for his husband to open it. “Stan...please come out.” 

“SHUT UP!” The blonde covered his ears, soaking into an emotional dew, thinking even that he was deep down into a horrible nightmare, not believing that they were both hurting each other so badly. “I thought you were mine, you said you were mine…”

The albino fell to the floor as if praying for a God; face contorted into a loud wail that if it wasn’t for the tears it coud be confused with laughter. Xeno’s wails were long and scalding ones, the kind that came again and again as he tried to keep knocking on the door and begging for his husband to come out. 

Nothing changed. Xeno had broken Stanley’s heart, torn it apart even and he now had to face how their love was burning to ashes before his eyes.

And they slept like that. Sobbing against a closed door until the dreadfu morning came. 

Xeno was curled right outside the door and he got startled when the blonde suddenly opened it; his dark orbs shine when seeing Stanley’s face as he thought they could continue talking about what happened, about them and about the future, but his husband completely ignored him, walking over him as if the American was just a street dog. 

Stanley placed a suitcase on the bed and started grabbing as many clothes as he could, just pushing them inside without a proper order. There’s always sadness about packing as one person always wnder if where you’re going is good as where you’ve been; the blonde just knew that he needed to get out of there, it wasn’t healthy and it only hurt him more. 

“Wh-What are you doing?” Xeno didn’t even bother to dress himself, showing the blonde in all possible ways his strong repent. 

“What do I seem to do?” He scoffed. 

The albino shivered by the anger voice as it was the first time that Stanley talked to him that way. “Please don’t go…” He whimpered. 

“I won’t discuss it…” There wasn’t enough space for every single fabric, but the blonde didn’t care. “I’ll get out of the way so you and Senku can be happy together.”

“I-I don’t want him…” 

Stanley closed his suitcase and heavily sighed, eyes still reddish from all the crying but he didn’t want to be near his husband, if he could still call Xeno that. It hurt, so deeply and intense. “You teach me how cruel you’ve been, cruel and false.” The blonde shook his head while the suitcase wheels touched the ground. “I don’t know why you betray our love and the worst part is that I still don’t understand what I did wrong…”

“You didn’t do anything wrong…” It was more than crying, it was the kind of desolate sobbing that comes from a person drained of all hope. “I was just stupid enough...you’re the love of my life and…” Xeno sank to his knees right in front of the bed, not caring in humiliating a little more of himself. “Senku was just a crush, a whim and something unimportant…”

“I know you liked it. Loved it even.” Stanley’s jaw was clenched and he couldn’t stand to see more at his husband’s figure. 

“It felt different...like being in control for the first time in my life.” His tears couldn’t stop falling and his hurtful gasping wails echoed around them. “And I got addicted...to the passion, to the adrenaline and to own another body, but…” The pain that was flowing from his body was as palpable as the frigid walls of their room. “But it wasn’t love…” Xeno looked up at his husband with watery skies and puffed red cheeks; needing some comfort, even if he didn’t deserve it. “And I know it’s too late, but I want you to know that I really love you…” He sobbed again. “And that I’m deeply sorry...please, Stan.” 

Stanley bit the inside of his cheek and quickly wiped away the tears that were ruining his face; his heartbreak was a constant gried that was coming in waves, gruelling and stealing bits of his soul. “I know you’re sorry.” The betrayal was choking the breath from his body and numbling his mind. “But I can’t forgive you, at least not right now.” The blonde grabbed the suitcase’s handle and started walkig out of their bedroom. “I need time to be alone Xeno…” What was once a whole pure love was now shattered, where was peace and trust was now emptiness; echoes of their love could be felt and heard as he left the room. “Don’t contact me, don’t look for me...as right now I don’t know you and I’m not interested in knowing you…”

“Stan…” 

“Farewell…” 

The blonde shut the door behind him and almost ran out of their home. Not really having a plan but to stay a few days inside a hotel room and talk to his supervisors to ask for an early return to the military base. It was better to be alone, he transformed into a beast the moment he was alone with his husband and it was better to clear his mind and think throughtfully at what he wanted to do...if he continued with their broken marriage or even file for a divorce as the man he left behind wasn’t Xeno. He was someone else. 

Xeno wailed harder the moment he was left alone; desperately climbing into their bed and hugging tightly at a pillow where he tried to muffled his screams. Fists closing so tight into the blankets that he could feel the sweat trapped inside them. The albino was crying like a small child who’s lost his mother, but there wasn’t a small child in the room, just him, a man that completely broke his husband’s heart. 

“Stanley…”

_ I wish I was a little boy again...because skinned knees are easier to fix than a broken heart _ .

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tysm for your comments and kudos. I'm so happy that you're trap with me in this story jiji. Love you all. 
> 
> You can follow me for every new story and update @Dainonico


	14. Even When You Heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Senku hugged his knees against his chest and started sobbing, he always knew fooling around with Xeno would bring horrible consequences and he got horribly scarred by Stanley’s face and forced; the fear of getting caught was always there but he never stopped to think how the sniper would react. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter 14!!! Thank you for continuing reading this story, I'm so happy by how it's developing...let's continue a little bit more with the angst.

The moment Senku got back inside Tsukasa’s hotel room, he stripped himself and took a long bath, trying to wash away every dirty feeling he felt lingering in his skin. The blonde was loving the magic of a hot bath, how time slowly paused and wanting for every grievance to melt away; the slap was harshly marked against his cheek, still burning red and making him feel more ashamed of himself than anything else. 

Senku hugged his knees against his chest and started sobbing, he always knew fooling around with Xeno would bring horrible consequences and he got horribly scarred by Stanley’s face and forced; the fear of getting caught was always there but he never stopped to think how the sniper would react. 

He really loved his time with Xeno, there was always the constant need of something more, of something deeper and even something real; perhaps being lovers was a plain mistake and Senku couldn’t believe how stupid he was since so many years ago. 

“And people say I got a bright mind, yeah, right.” He wetly chuckled while sliding deeper into the bathtub; time was still passing like a hand waving from a train he wanted to get on and escaped. 

The feelings that hurt most, the emotions that sting most are those that are absurd; the fucking longing for impossible things, precisely because they are impossible. And right now Senku was wishing for never having that stupid crush in the first place, to never seek a romance with his married teacher and to never fell in love as he had already hurt two people that had nothing to do with his messy love life. 

There was a nostalgia for what never was, a desire for what could have been and an immense regret over not being someone else; someone intelligent, mature and loyal. Fuck! Those things sounded so hard, impossible and even mundane. All those half-tones of his hurt soul’s consciousness were creating a painful landscape, an eternal sunset of who he really was: a homebreaker and a cheater. 

Senku heard the room’s door opening and he knew Tsukasa was back. He sighed deeply and got out of the tub, completely drying his body and hair and getting dressed on only a whiterobe. He exited the bathroom and the brunette immediately greeted him. 

“Hey! How did it go?” But Tsukasa’s happy demeanor quickly changed to a worried one when he noticed the red bruise on the blonde’s face. “What happened?” He got closer to Senku and tenderly held his shoulders. “Did…” He took a deep breath. “Did Xeno hurt you?”

The blonde was ashamed of glaring at Tsukasa’s hazel eyes, looking down at him sorrowfully, feeling like he was falling into a pool of deep warm chocolate; Xeno’s eyes were completely black and Senku always felt like falling into a dark abyss. It was dangerous since the first day, but the chocolate wasn’t feeling like a threat; pretty eyes that even shine in the fading sunset

“No, he didn’t.” 

“Then who?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Senku’s hand lifted of its own accord and caressed the brunette’s cheeks, sensing already how the tears were slowly covering his crimson eyes. 

“You have to tell me.” 

“Why?”

“Senku! Someone hit you. I can’t tolerate that.” Tsukasa was getting a bit desperate, not understanding at all what really happened and even thinking the worst, that perhaps Senku got assaulted on his way back from his lover’s house. “Did you get your IPad back?”

Tears started dripping down the blonde’s cheeks, silently and painfully while he shook his head, he didn’t even have time to retrieve it. He didn’t even go inside the house. Everything happened so quickly. 

“Senku, I won’t stop asking.” The fear thoughts were looping around the brunette’s mind until there was no room for anything else. He had to know. 

“Just...please.” 

“Please what?”

“Don’t get mad at me.” It was a pathetic request but right now he was scared of the brunette’s reaction, of having to deal with another angry person or worse, that Tsukasa may leave him alone inside the room and after committing so many mistakes, he really wanted to get out of that. 

Tsukasa slid his hand down to the blonde’s arm until he could interlock their fingers, leading him towards the bed and sitting them both right on the edge. “I promise you, so tell me. Who hit you?”

It was now or never. Tsukasa wanted to understand and Senku needed to start being honest for once since all the affair started. “Stanley…” He whispered. 

“And he is?”

“Xeno’s husband.” 

Tsukasa double blinked at the words. Things were starting to make sense. “Your lover’s husband…” He shook his head. “Your ex-lover’s husband, hit you.”

“Yes.”

“Why?” It was getting hard to ask. “Xeno is...your ex-lover, right?”

“Yes...but…” More tears ran down his already puffy cheeks, noticing how the brunette’s look was constantly changing, from worried to comprehensive and now to not understanding a thing. “When I got there to ask for my IPad back...Xeno kissed me and…” A knot was forming deep inside his throat, once again relieving the harsh scene inside his mind. “Stanley saw us...he just went mad, screamed at Xeno and slapped me. Ordering me to leave them alone, to get out of there and I ran like the coward that I am. 

Tsukasa brushed away the hair that was getting in his face, having trouble believing the blonde’s words. “Did you kiss him back?” Was there a purpose in wanting to know that question answer? But the fighter thought he had the right to know. He patiently waited for Senku to be ready to be with him and just when he thought they could be together after an intense and passionate week, Xeno was getting right back into the picture. 

Senku didn’t want to continue lying. “Yes.” 

“Why?”

“I don’t really know why...it just happened.” Senku tried to wipe away some of the constant tears that were blurring his vision. “I swear I didn’t want to...I just wanted to retrieve what was mine and...he kissed me and I didn’t have the strength to pull back.” It sounded so stupid as he was fearing that eventually something he love was going to be taken away. And Senku was sure that if Tsukasa left him, he would fall to the floor crying, because he was slowly seeing how his world was crumbling down. 

“I thought you…” He chuckled a bit, nervousness getting the better of himself. “You wanted to start dating me.” 

“I want to.” The blonde placed his hand on top of Tsukasa’s but his heart shattered when the brunette removed it. “I’m so sorry…”

“Perhaps you’re still a bit confused and…” It hurt to say the words out loud. “And it even looks like I pressure you to be with me.” 

“No, I really enjoyed our time together.” He cried, knowing pretty well that Tsukasa was indeed hurt by his actions. “It didn’t mean a thing, it was just a memory reflex, a stupid decision, a mad choice.” The blonde kept trying to find a logical explanation to his horrible actions. 

“I don’t know, Senku…”

“Tsukasa…” He whimpered as he was hugging himself. “Please give me another opportunity...I know I can show you how much I…” Love him?” Was Senku really feeling love for the fighter or it was just a desperate cry for help?

“How much what?” 

“I’ve fallen in love with you…” He said at last. There was no reason to hold back his words. 

Tsukasa got closer and cupped both hands on the blonde’s cheeks, thumbs removing all the tears he could. “Is that true?” He sighed. “‘Cause I’ve fallen in love with you since so long ago, since we started dating…”

“And I break your heart?” Senku cried a bit more. 

Tsukasa sadly nodded but his lips pressed against his with passion, love and affection as his warm hands were removing the bathrobe, leaving a trail of sparks in their wake while caressing the blonde’s naked body. “But that was back then.” He forces Senku’s back to touch the mattress while their eyes keep glaring at each other. “Are you sure of those feelings? Are those feelings real right now?” 

“Yes. I’m ten billion percent sure.” Tsukasa’s lips gently brushed against his once again and Senku could smell his minty breath as their bodies were pressing together. 

“Then it is all forgotten.”

“For real?” 

Tsukasa kissed the bruised cheek. “Stanley shouldn’t have touched you.” 

“I feel like I deserved it after everything I did.” 

“You didn’t do it alone.” Tsukasa was slowly massaging the blonde’s chest, placing soft kisses on the neck and shoulders. “And if you say it’s over...I’ll believe you.” 

“You can hate me.”

“It’s impossible to hate the one I love.”

Senku’s eyes got covered in new crystal tears that slowly dripped down his blushed cheeks, feeling like he really didn’t deserve someone like the fighter, not after all his past and continuous mistakes, but he wrapped his arms around the brunette’s neck and shyly asked for a kiss; one that Tsukasa was pleased to give over and over again. 

Tsukasa smiled into the kiss as Senku’s fingers tug at his long brown hair and the other hand softly scratched at his back, but the shirt’s fabric was impending to truly touch him. “I know there was another person that was taking care of your heart, or so I thought...but I lost my mind the day you picked me up at the airport...I got lost in your crimson eyes a long time ago.” 

“Tsukasa…” 

“I promise you, my love,that our love will grow.” He kissed him once more, wanting to show the blonde all his true feelings and that if Senku was sure in his decision, then Tsukasa could take the chance and forget about what happened today. “After every winter, flowers will come. So don’t worry about the things of the past.”

“I’m sorry.” Senku’s chest was rising and falling dramatically under the brunette’s influence. 

“You have apologized enough.”

In his life, Senku has only ever fallen in love twice. Once with an opposite, with a forbidden love and for what he thought could be stronger than a mere crush and once with what could be his true soulmate; it would have been so neat for the blonde to follow the second one, but like many things in life they came close together and he took a bad decision back then. Senku now knew he could only ever be with one, give one special person his heart, body and soul. So though both were precious gifts, one brought joy and the other a lot of pain; he even helped to cause pain. 

With perfect love comes perfect trust and Senku wanted to fully trust Tsukasa and for the brunette to do the same with him. 

“I love you.” He dared to say and Tsukasa was happier after hearing those words. 

“You don’t have to force yourself to say it.” The brunette whispers on Senku’s ear, still placing unending kisses on the soft skin beneath him. 

“It isn’t forced.” He bit his lip, feeling the nervousness invade his whole body, but wanting the fighter to admire his whole body and soul as it was right now. “I always knew there were hard feelings for you...I was just stupid enough.”

“Ishigami Senku is never stupid enough.” Tsukasa laugh.

In that moment, the blonde felt his bare body flush warm; right on top of him was a person that had waited for him, that was comprehensive and that was ready to give him a true and long lasting love. Senku would not commit the same mistake twice. 

Perhaps the crush was over. Or that’s what he really hoped. 

Senku helped Tsukasa remove his shirt so that he could feel their skins brushing against each other. “Please erase the traces of  _ that _ kiss.”

“Do you really want to forget?”

“I want to move on.” Senku wasn’t exactly sure when it happened. Or even when it started back in Japan. All he knew for sure was that right here and now, he was loving Tsukasa so painfully hard and he could only hope to not make the same mistake again. 

* * *

The room was pitch black. And when Xeno finally opened his eyes he thought everything was a cruel nightmare, but the moment he turned his body in the bed a horrible pain coursed through his spine and he remembered the assault and how his husband was angrily on top of him. 

He was relieving everything. The screams, the tears and the soulless eyes.

The albino looked for his phone between the covers and the moment he found it, there was no question in what were his fingers doing; dialing up his husband’s number but it never rang, just a cruel operator’s voice answered him.

_ We’re sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. _

Xeno couldn’t believe it. Well, he didn’t want to believe it. 

He dialled again and he listened to the same invoice. Agan and again. 

Tears were wildly running down the albino’s cheeks. Pain is a pesky part of being human as he had learned it feels like a stab wound directly to the heart; pain was also a sudden hurt that couldn’t be escaped. His crying was also one of the worst kind; his soul was horribly weeping and no matter what he did, there was not a single way to comfort him.

“Stan…” He whimpered still in the bed. Their room seemed even bigger and darker than before, almost as if a black abyss had swallowed his own home. Xeno didn’t know what to do, his husband had left him and he still didn’t want to accept it. 

After what felt like some eternal minutes Xeno decided to crawl out of bed, legs shaking for the bruises the blonde left on his skin and he turned on the bathroom’s light, seeing himself in the mirror and he hated the image that was glaring back at him. 

Xeno was even wondering how ugly a person could get. His eyes looked darker than before, like two bottomless pits, dry tear trails on both puffed cheeks and his lips were so dry that it hurts to move his mouth. His eyes looked down at his hips where Stanley’s red bruises proudly shine, remembering him of the worst day of his life. 

Then Xeno could almost hear how his heart broke into even tinier pieces, right on the sink was a shiny object, one he took between his shaky fingers and a loud gasp left his mouth. The albino was hoping that Stanley had left for a few hours or days, to let his head cool off and that perhaps they could talk things, but right now everything seemed lost. 

He was holding Stanley’s wedding ring. And Xeno felt his heart hurting so much that he could also feel the blood slowly dripping. It was intense, horrible and mind breaking. 

_ “I’ll never take it off.”  _ Those were Stanley’s words on their wedding night. 

Xeno held the ring dearly right against his throbbing chest. How could Xeno keep thinking? For him their love was supposed to be everything and Stanley was supposed to be his true love and whole life, but he decided to cheat on the blonde, to ruin their marriage and to damage his trust. It was not pleasant to realize those things just now, right when it was too late. 

He left his body to fall down on the cold mattress, room still dark with only the dim light that was coming from the open bathroom door. And he left more tears to wet the blankets and pillows around him, dialing again and again the blonde’s phone number and when he screamed in pain after hearing the same cruel message, Xeno checked their past voice notes and clicked on one. 

_ “Love, my love, my dearest love. I’m tired of all the fucking new soldiers.” He chuckled. “I shouldn’t be the one to train the airheads, but I guess someone needs to do it. Fucking luck, right?” He laughed even harder. “You know I miss you and that I’m not great at words, so I’m just ranting my stupid thoughts, but I least I know you’re on the other end hearing me. I’ll call you at night…” He sighed. “I’m counting the days to come back to you. I don’t accept teasing, that’s the cheesiest I can get. Talk to you later.”  _

Xeno silently sobbed while hearing Stanley’s voice. How he could be so stupid and ruined that man’s dreams and hopes of what was supposed to be their lovely marriage life? He was regretting every single decision he took during the affair, for deciding to even start an affair. 

“Please forgive me.” He whispered to no one and clicked once again the voice note. 

_ “Love, my love, my dearest love.” _

  
  


_ Hearts are breakable...and even when you heal, you’re never what you were before. _

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can follow me on twitter for any new fic and updates: @Dainonico


	15. The Future is Ours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xeno still felt like breathing was impossible, but at least he knew his husband was with someone they both trust and he was glad that Luna was giving him the attention and care he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we're near the end. Tysm for reading it.

Senku felt refreshed that morning. He sat up and couldn’t stop smiling when doing so, his crimson eyes greeted the dayshine that was peeking through the window, his heart and lungs expanded as he raised his arms above his head, letting out a soft yawn and looking over at Tsukasa. 

The fighter’s body looked precious between the tangled sheets, his long brown locks were scattered over his face and the pillow and he was breathing evenly, so relaxed and calmed. This one was of those times where Senku felt that he was so lucky to be with someone so kind and gentle after all the stupid mistakes that he committed in the last months. 

There were some soft dreams inside his mind, the sense of welcoming the bright new day and the anticipation of whatever may come for their future. 

The blonde couldn’t resist it any longer and burrowed himself into the warm of the brunette’s back, the sheets felt extra soft and he rubbed the remainders of sleep from his eyes and gazed out at the window; there was a vivid light that was extending across the blue sky. 

“Tsukasa…” He sang. “Wake up.” 

“For what?” The fighter mumbled; he woke up a few seconds ago, when feeling how the blonde’s body was constantly moving in their bed. 

“Isn’t today your match?” 

“But late at night.” 

“And then what?” 

“About what?” Senku was asking too many questions and Tsukasa had to force himself to open his eyes; he was still tired about the activities he endured last night. Kissing every inch of the blonde’s body, drinking every incoming moan and worshipping his body until sunrise. “We didn’t sleep but…” He looked over at the clock on the nightstand. “Three hours?” 

“I’m not sleepy.” 

“Too bad Mister, you’re sleeping a bit more.” Tsukasa wrapped his arms around the small frame and deeply inhaled the sweet aroma; Senku always smelled like fresh grounded coffee and it was mouth watering. “I need to sleep some more, to be ready for the fight.” 

“I understand.” He whispered, placing a kiss on the brunette’s forehead and snuggling between the warm embrace and closing his eyes. Senku was excited for what was to come in their life, the words weren’t explicitly said, but he hoped that perhaps their relationship can be somehow formal as he was tired of the hiding and the constant secrets. 

He thought about Xeno and how he was also to blame for Stanley’s angry outburst; it wasn’t something easy to forget, the screams, the slap and the angry eyes. The sniper didn’t deserve that and even if the American continuously agreed and wanted to pursue their affair, Senku didn’t care about anyone else’s feelings but his own and the great pleasure he felt during that time together with Xeno. And he was suddenly afraid of ruining everything with Tsukasa, perhaps that’s why the brunette hadn’t asked him to formally date, but also Senku knew he was overthinking everything again. 

* * *

Xeno had trouble sleeping. He finally managed to bathe himself and to wear clothes; some baggy black pants and a white t-shirt as he decided to get out of bed and sat at the kitchen counter, pouring himself mug after mug of warm black coffee, which he drank in almost one long gulp. 

He continued hearing Stanley’s voice message and literally hearing how his heart was breaking into a million pieces. He was getting it now, but it was quite late for that. Only a lover can wound so deep and cut their partner’s heart to the core; that level of trauma has to be an inside job. Xeno had broken his husband so deeply and watched him bleed that day. 

The albino wanted to forget that face, how Stanley’s loving eyes suddenly turned into a sadden mess and a hating glare. Xeno kept constantly on the pressure with his multiple lies and manipulations, increasing the level of cruelty as the affair kept going. 

Every time he thought too deeply about the events of that sinful day, more crystal tears ran down his still puffy cheeks as he silently sobbed. 

Xeno lit up a cigarette. He found them on the floor near the table, Stanley surely had tossed them on his way out or perhaps they fell after his husband stormed out of the house; the albino wasn’t a smoker but he needed it right now. He inhaled the grey stench, the odor that foretold of tar-infested lungs and what the love of his life always smelled like; there was something rotten in his dark glare as he took each drag, as if he perversely lured on that needy memory and seek to punish himself after everything he done. 

The wrinkled toxic stick had a slow creeping stench and Xeno was deeply inhaling it; within moments the smoke invaded the whole kitchen as the pack was almost finished. The cigarette smoke had this entitlement, to make him feel closer to the love that was gone and to force more tears out of his reddish and swollen eyes. 

It was funny how Xeno was still calling Stanley his husband, perhaps their marriage was about to get dissolved and he couldn’t really blame him; it was the least he deserved. 

After thinking it thoroughly, the albino got a hold of his phone and dialed a number he had thought forgotten, one that he didn’t think he needed, but right now perhaps it was his only option. 

It didn’t take too much, just a few seconds of the dialed tone before someone answered the call. 

“Hello?”

“Miss Luna?” Xeno was surprised to notice his voice sounded so rough and dry, but he knew it was for the constant crying. 

“Why are you calling?” 

A wetly chuckled escaped the albino’s lips, so she knew. Of course she knew. “I just want to know if he’s alright.” It took some long silent seconds for the girl to finally answer back. 

“Of course he’s not alright...but I shouldn’t be talking with you about that.”

“Then why haven’t you hung up on me?” It was a snarky remark, but Luna was also too cute to be true, she had always been a great friend to them and even more to Stanley. 

“‘Cause I still love you, even if you suddenly turned stupid.” 

“Believe I know how stupid I am...not something I want to brag about.” 

“You want to know where he is, right?” 

“I’ll love to know...I need to...to apologize again…” Xeno couldn’t control it and he started crying again. 

“I think he needs to be alone for a little while.” 

“Luna please…” Perhaps the blonde girl was the first person ever to hear Xeno begging, but dignity wasn’t something he wanted to keep bragging about. “I know perhaps it’s too late for anything, but I just need to see him.” 

“He’s staying with me...but please don’t come here…” Luna locked herself in the bathroom of her small one bedroom apartment, Stanley was deep asleep on the couch after an intense night of constant crying and she didn’t want to get him more upset by knowing she answered Xeno’s call. “I want to believe that you’re sorry about everything, but he needs some space.” 

“Is he staying more nights with you?” 

“No, he’s returning tomorrow to the military base.” 

“Which one?” 

“Are you following him?”

“I have to…”

Luna sighed deeply and bit her bottom lip; Stanley surely will hate her for sharing that information, but Xeno was still her friend and she wanted them to get back together, even if that seemed like something impossible for the time being. “She’s going to the Illinois base...I wished you the best of luck.” She said before hanging up. 

Xeno still felt like breathing was impossible, but at least he knew his husband was with someone they both trust and he was glad that Luna was giving him the attention and care he needed. The albino needed to work fast in some stuff before buying a plane ticket to Illinois...perhaps it was pointless in going there, but he at least wanted to see Stanley’s face...even if he was suddenly served with divorce papers. 

* * *

  
  


It was the first time Senku would be watching a fighting match live. He was nervous and felt a bit embarrassed when Tsukasa’s manager showed him his front row seat, right in front of the ring; this was the entire reason for which the brunette had arrived into United States, the reason for them to meet again and the reason for Senku to finally decide on starting a relationship with him, even if the fighter hadn’t ask him yet. 

His heart skip a bit when Tsukasa appeared in the ring and softly removed his red robe; the blonde couldn’t stop thinking in how handsome he truly looked; a tall and muscular man with wild brown hair tied in a tight ponytail, with intense hazel eyes and a face that could stopped anyone on their tracks. He truly was breathtaking, even more when proudly showing his defined abs. 

The match started. Tsukasa tested his opponent with jabs and blocks, landing a good blow on the other guy’s ribs and follow-up with a hook to his jaw; blood was smeared across the ring and the audience was losing it. Tsukasa was unstoppable.

During the third-round bell Tsukasa received a hit directly to the face and Senku screamed, noticing how a string of blood was dripping down the brunette’s swollen lips; a cut could also be seen on his cheek and the fighter’s glare turned mad. Both fighters were intensely sweating as steam condensed quickly into the cold air and the blonde noticed that blood was trickling down the opponent's face from the cut that Tsukasa made on his left eye. 

The brunette was jumping side-by-side with an excited smile; it was pretty obvious that he was owning the match and just in a few more seconds, Tsukasa white-knuckled fists pumped back and forth his opponent’s body, forcing the head to snap back under his fist. 

The audience screamed and feverishly cheered, almost everyone stood up to continue with the applause and whistling, but Senku remained in his seat, carefully looking at the brunette, who was now struggling to breath because of the adrenaline hit. 

The whole thing of ring fighting was hurting somebody else, deliberately, and particularly when it was not necessary; two men had nothing against each other in a ring and still tried to hurt each other. Senku’s guts twisted, he did dust that to Stanley, he hurt him deeply and without caring about his feelings; at least Tsukasa could cover it up by calling it a sport, but Senku? He just felt like a total bitch. 

Tsukasa was smiling when the referee raised his hand and proclaimed him the winner and he shook his head to get rid of those constant thoughts, looking up to meet glares with the guy he was loving. 

After the match Senku got inside backstage, Tsuksa had given him a VIP pass before they left the hotel room; he knocked on the door and he couldn’t stop smiling when hearing the brunette said. “Come in.” 

“Tsu…” He said, closing the door behind his back.

“How was it? What do you think?”

“It was awesome, but I got a bit nervous…” 

The brunette patted his lap and Senku took the few steps to approach him and sat right there, feeling how the strong and sweaty arms were engulfing his small frame. “You don’t have to worry about me, I can take that and even more.” He chuckled. 

“I’m glad, you’re really so strong.” 

“Well, I trained for so many months to get this body.” Tsukasa was happy to share his victory with the blonde, but he sensed Senku sounded a bit worried. “Something’s wrong?”

“I was wondering something…”

“Tell me.”

It was better to come straight forward, if Senku remembered correctly, Tsukasa was leaving on Saturday night, a bit less than twenty-four hours and the clock was now tickling in order to make a decision or at least to know they were in the same channel. “What are we?”

Tsukasa chuckled and embraced the blonde even tighter, placing a soft kiss on his right cheek. “Well, that you’re free from other relationships…” And Tsukasa didn’t mean it in a wrong way, just stating some facts. “We can start formally dating.”

“Do you really want to date me?”

“I’ll love to date you.” 

Senku had already thought about that, about leaving the United States and returning to Japan by Tsukasa’s side; he made a big mistake by coming here in the first place and even if he was doing great with his classes, it was best to start over back at home. “Then take me with you…”

“To Japan?”

“Yes…” Senku turned a bit his face and met Tsukasa in a sweet and loving kiss, closing his eyes to feel every single touch; in the fighter’s embrace the world stopped still on its axis. There was no time, no wind and no rain; Senku’s mind was finally at peace. How could it be that he hadn’t seen Tsukasa’s love for what it was before? Pure, unselfish, undemanding and free from four walls. 

The blonde let the fighter’s body press in, soft and warm; this was the love he’d wanted with Xeno, but it was wrong for him to look for it in an already established relationship. “Tomorrow morning I’ll drop out of college.” 

“Really?” Tsukasa was at a loss of words, too surprised by the blonde’s sudden decision. 

Senku just nodded and nuzzled his face on the brunette’s chest. “I can start over with you back at home.” 

“Then let’s do just that.”

* * *

Senku felt extremely sad when glaring at his drop out paper between both hands; he had just gotten out of the Dean's office, and he didn’t feel like explaining himself, just that it was better for his future to start his career back at home. 

He sighed deeply and took a last glance at the university’s halls, feeling extremely stupid for winning his place there just to follow a forbidden love; it was good and he had fun while it lasted, but now his mind was full of regret. 

Just when he was nearing the entrance, he instantly recognized the sad black stare that was directed at him; Senku also noticed that the albino was holding a paper in one hand and a bag with the other. The place was almost dead, not many people had classes on Saturday morning. 

Senku took a few steps to approach him; he tried to have a last goodbye before hell broke loose and it was obvious everything turned out for the worst, but this time it was real. 

“I’m leaving…” He said, showing his ex-lover the piece of paper that signaled it was a final decision. 

“Me too…” Xeno showed him his. “I’m resigning as a teacher here...as I have some things to do.” 

The blonde couldn’t help but feel worried about the other man; he looked so sad and broken on the outside that he surely was hurting on the inside. “Why? Where are you going?”

“Nosy…” Xeno tried to chuckle, opening his bag and taking out the blonde’s IPad.“You didn’t take it last time we saw each other.” And how could he? Stanley just slapped his lover and forced him to run away. “Here…”

Senku accepted it and pressed it against his chest. “Thank you.”

“I’m sorry things had to end this way, now we can barely look at each other.”

“They had to end at one point or another.” 

“That’s true.” Xeno let out a loud whistle, already feeling his eyes get crystal clear, but he didn’t want to cry in front of the blonde. “Perhaps you don’t need to know this, but…” What was the point in keeping secrets? It was best to say everything in this last meeting. “If I had not been married, I would have liked to formalize a relationship with you...you really are special.” 

Senku couldn’t avoid feeling a soft pink blush painting his cheeks by the sudden confession. “That was what I wanted since the beginning.” He sighed. “But now…”

“You’re with the tall brunette, right?” The blonde just silently nodded. “He’s so lucky.” Xeno gently gripped Senku’s shoulder. “Enjoy your relationship and don’t commit the same mistakes that I do...not that you were a mistake...you showed me realize my true self…” The albino felt like only talking gibberish, too emotional to really continue. “Just, love him deeply and never look at another man, not when the right one is beside you or you could lose him like me.” And with that he left and lost himself into the endless halls. 

Some small tears dripped down the blonde’s cheeks, deep down he was expecting one last kiss, one last touch...but things were better this way. It was finally over and his new bright future was awaiting him.

Senku finally got out of the university campus, deeply sighing by leaving everything behind, but his gaze focused on the tall brunette that was waiting for him right beside the gate. Tsukasa reached his hand and Senku eagerly hold it, interlacing their fingers and letting their palms kiss. 

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

  
  


_ “The future is ours...and I love thinking about that.” _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can join us in the discord server TheKingdomofShipping.  
> https://discord.gg/v9WF3Nck


	16. With All His Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two ex-lovers were at the same airport at the same time on the same day, but each of them were there for completely different reasons. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for following this story; I'm sorry for the late update but I had to finish some things first. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the angsty ride!!!

  
  


_ Two ex-lovers were at the same airport at the same time on the same day, but each of them were there for completely different reasons.  _

Senku was starting his new life along Tsukasa, he had barely time to say goodbye to Chrome, thanking him for all his help during the turmoil of the relationship he got himself into. The fighter even helped him pack all his stuff and was by the blonde’s side during the whole process; it was hard to say goodbye but it was for the best to take the next step in his life. He had already caused a lot of damage...to him and to those around him. 

Being right there in the airport felt extremely different; he was waiting behind Tsukasa, tightly holding his suitcase while his boyfriend received their plane tickets. It was all set and done, Senku was coming back home; he couldn’t wait to see Taiju and Yuzuriha again...to hug Byakuya.

“Is something wrong?” Tsukasa asked with the tickets on hand, taking both their luggage and checking it in. 

Senku sighed and tried his best in not shedding some tears, but deep down inside his heart, he was still having a turmoil of emotions. “Am I running away?” 

The brunette shook his head. “You’re doing what’s best for you.”

“It’s hard to think that when I literally came here to be a homewrecker.” 

“That’s true.” Tsukasa chuckled, even more when the blonde arched an eyebrow. “I have to agree with you on this.” He took Senku’s hand and started walking towards their terminal. “Xeno was in the wrong for accepting you as his lover, but you also committed some mistakes.” He sighed. “You’re not a saint in these, you knew you were doing something wrong, something behind someone’s back...and honestly, your ex-lover’s husband’s deserves an apology from you.” 

“I know.” Senku squeezed hard the fighter’s hand, they were already in line to pass through the airport security. “It was just hard to say those words…” Especially after receiving a hard slap on the cheek, but he wasn’t going to talk more about that dreadful event. 

Senku had not only helped destroy a relationship, he had also suffered from a recent breakup and perhaps this was the only way that he will rediscover who he was; the him that’s purely himself. The blonde had some dreams, even amazing technicolor dreams that he needed to make into some kind of reality...thinking that Xeno was the love of his life without even knowing him and falling so suddenly and hardly in love, making those first dreams completely different and so, while they were together everything became muted and confused. 

He was glad to have Tsukasa by his side; even more that the brunette wanted to formalize some kind of relationship with him. Deep down Senku felt like he didn’t deserve this happy ending. 

Just when they crossed the security check and they were standing on the other side of the airport, Senku noticed how real everything was becoming. He stopped dead on his tracks and turned on his heels, holding the fighter’s hands with his own while looking up at the hazel eyes and he just said. “Thank you for coming back for me…” 

The brunette smiled and leaned down to kiss the blonde’s lips. “You needed some alone time to know what you truly wanted...and I didn’t mind waiting.” 

“You’re amazing.” Senku sighed, opening his eyes after the sweet kiss. “I really think I don’t deserve you, you could have anyone…”

Tsukasa laughed and whispered. “The love of my life isn’t perfect and I’m not either, but I know we are perfect for one another.” He placed a kiss on the blonde’s forehead. “Let go of those thoughts as my feelings won’t change...let’s enjoy this new life back at home.” He interlaced his fingers into Senku’s, allowing their palms to kiss. “You still need to set things right, but that can wait a little bit more.”

* * *

For Xeno the airport was a cocoon of steel with the walls so elegantly curved and wrapping around to create this inner space; the beams were supporting so many windows and letting in so much light, that in the daytime it was as bright as any summer day. 

He was sitting in his seat near his gate, watching how the people moved as chaotic rainbows with so brilliant colors; everyone was flowing from the check-in desks to the cafe’s and through the gates, each one of them heading for a destination of their own making. And here he was, holding a cup of warm coffee with both hands, lost in watching how others were enjoying their lives and feeling more stressed out then ever. 

Xeno didn’t know if it was worth it, if there was a slight opportunity for him, but after being a horrible human being, he at least needed to try. 

They announced that people were allowed to board the 853 Illinois flight and the albino took a last long sip of his coffee, tossing the empty cup into a nearby trashcan and sighting loudly while forming in line in order to get inside the plane. All the reasons not to do this came flooding in, as if his body’s chemistry just sent him a blanket invitation. Xeno felt a soft panic that was growing as he took each step; he was breathing real slow, trying his best to let his thoughts leak into ether and at least find some minutes of relaxation, even if that felt incredibly impossible. 

The stewardess explained the ritualistic plane safety, one that Xeno already knew by memory; his eyes were lost in his phone’s screen, holding it tightly and wanting to just send a text message to Stanley. An action that was so simple and normal some weeks ago, was now something impossible as he was blocked from every possible site. His heart throbbed by remembering that the blonde’s phone line didn’t even ring, it got straight up to voicemail; Xeno had fucked up big time and even if he was flying to another city...he was scared of not being able to reach his husband. 

Was Stanley still his husband? It really hurt to think about that; he was even glad when they asked for everyone on board to set their phones into flight mode. It was just a two hours flight, so the albino leaned against his seat and stared at the open window as the engine roared and the wind buffeted as the plane took flight. 

Even as the engines turned, Xeno’s brain relaxed into dreaming mode, there were some miles to go and all he had to do was let this technological bird fly him there. 

* * *

Xeno sighed deeply when he arrived at the Rock Island Arsenal Army Base; it was between the cities of Rock Island, Illinois and Davenport. Beautifully surrounded by the Mississippi River

He couldn’t believe he was right there, just a few meters afar from his spouse and Xeno’s heart was beating hard against his chest; Xeno had not problem accessing the military base, once he said he was visiting Stanley Snyder and that the sniper was his rightful husband, the gates were immediately opened for him. 

The albino just hoped that those officers didn’t alert the blonde about his sudden visit; Luna had only told him that Stanley was returning to work in the base, but deep down he was afraid of the sniper already knowing and asking to be relocated to another base.

Xeno walked into the housing zone, pulling his suitcase and looking for Stanley’s home; it was a big neighborhood for active service members, most of them were brand new with three-four bedrooms. He had only visited there once, right after their honeymoon, but Xeno already had his job at JAXA and at the college, so his best option was for him to return to Houston while the blonde shifted between the two homes. 

It didn’t take long for him to find it. The house was his husband’s second home, one that he shared with other military men, where the laughter happened and where he was able to rest at the end of a long working day. From the street it0s bricks and mortar topped with tile, the same as any other, yet inside was supposed to feel warm and cozy; a place where the lungs choose to fill a little deeper and the heart beat a little steadier. 

The albino took a deep breath. 

For the first time in his life he wasn’t sure of anything, but he was right there, thousand miles away from his home and with a broken heart. 

It was late in the afternoon when he knocked; just standing right there was enough to make his breathing rapid and shallow. Xeno could feel his pulse pounding in his temples; he even wished to have a chair nearby, because between the front steps and his legs shaking, he was afraid of tripping. 

After a few minutes the door opened and his black orbs shone brightly, already filled with tears; Xeno wanted to take some steps forwards, to even hugged him, but he remained still. 

“Hi.” He whispered.

“What are you doing here?” 

Xeno took a deep breath, that wasn’t how he imagined their first exchange of words after spending some time apart, but the blonde was in the right to continue upset. 

“I couldn’t reach you...so…”

“So you thought that by flying here I’ll be excited to see you?” Stanley’s eyes were like fire in the water, if someone could imagine such a thing; seriously blue, almost sickeningly blue.

Xeno gulped hard. “I just want to apologize…”

“You have apologized already.” A snicker left the blonde’s lips. “But why? Are you only feeling sorry because I caught your sickening game? Are you sad because your lover left you?”

“No…” The albino’s eyes were already covered by a crystal layer of tears and just a blink was enough for the tears to start running down. 

“Xeno…” And it sounded cold and harsh. “Please go.” 

“I can’t go…”

Stanley pinched his nose’s bridge, letting out a loud sigh. “Yes, you can go. You have two feet and legs to start moving out of here.” The blonde leaned against the door frame, just blocking the entrance; Xeno could hear some whispers and laughter, obviously from the sniper’s roommates. 

“I have nowhere to go.”

The blonde’s eyes had a deep pain untold; his customary warmth was gone faster than summer rain on the tarmac. “I’m surprised you didn’t think of a Plan B before coming here.” He sighed. “What do you think? That by showing at my entrance I would let you in? That everything would be forgotten?.” He shook his head. “No, Xeno. No one has hurt me like you did.” 

The albino couldn’t see his face, the tears were blocking his whole view. “I’m sorry…” 

“I know you’re sorry.” Xeno had never seen Stanley look that way, his eyes had a deadness, a stillness. “But it isn’t enough. Would you be apologizing if I hadn’t found you two together? Or would you keep lying to me?” 

“I was…” The albino felt a knot right inside his throat, making it difficult for the words to come out. “Breaking up with him.” 

“With your tongue shoved deep inside that brat’s mouth, right?”

“It’s the truth!” 

Stanley slammed his hand against the door, causing a big echo to rumble inside his house. “The problem wasn’t that you were breaking up with him.” He started screaming. “THE FUCKING PROBLEM IS THAT YOU HAD ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP BEHIND MY BACK.” 

Xeno’s soul was weeping and no matter what he did, there was no way to comfort it; a section was whitering and became a scar on the part of his soul that was broken enough. “Stan...please...I.”

“Leave me alone.” He said with gritted teeth. “Just leave me the fuck alone.” 

“What is happening to us?”

Stanley bit his bottom lip, doing his best in not shedding a single tear as he thought Xeno didn’t deserve to see him that way. “I don’t think there’s an us anymore…” And with that he stepped inside his home, turning his back to the albino and closing the door, sliding down until his butt was touching the ground and his face could be hide between his knees; that’s were his own waterworks started functioning, while hearing how his husband was also sobbing on the other side. 

* * *

Xeno didn’t know what to do. 

He had always been so self-conscious when he cried, but now Xeno just gave way to the enormity of his grief. The albino sobbed into his hands and tears dripped between his fingers, raining down while he sat on the door’s steps. His breathing was ragged, gasping and the strength left his entire body; he obviously had money to stay in a hotel room for a couple of nights, but the fear of thinking that Stanley could move to another base was heartbreaking. 

Xeno stood there until the night fell and cried until no more tears came, but still the emptiness and sorrow remained; he had committed the worst mistake of his life and there was no way to make it right. 

His eyes were reddish from the constant crying and his cheeks were puffed from all the dripped tears; he had to move at some point, but for him there was no reason to do so as there was nothing left inside of him, nobody left. 

Being with Senku was a great experience, he loved every second of it...he even wanted more and now Xeno was seeing how stupid and selfish he had been during that time. 

He checked his phone and sighed. He had stayed right there for a little more than four hours and now his stomach was growling and his head hurting. 

Suddenly the door opened and a ray of light illuminated his sad silhouette. Xeno was excited at first, thinking that the blonde took pity on his pathetic form, but when he turned his glare towards the entrance he saw two guys that quickly sat next to him on the steps. 

“Stanley is...really hurt.” Carlos said; Xeno had known them from before and even if they hadn’t talked too much, Stanley used to tell him stories about their time working together, so it wasn’t a surprise that they were roommates when the blonde returned to the base. 

“You have to give him some time.” Max added, gently patting the albino’s back. 

“I know…” He wiped away some new found tears. “I made a mistake coming here.” 

“You clearly regret what happened. Don’t worry about filling any details, Stanley already told us.” 

Max nodded and stood up, offering his hand to the albino. “Let’s get inside.” 

“Stanley doesn’t want me there.” 

Carlos shrugged his shoulders. “Is our home too, and we can’t leave you here all alone.” 

“Stan will sure get mad at us.”

“But that’s something on a daily basis.” Both guys laughed, still offering Xeno their hand. 

He thought about it for a moment, knowing that by accepting his husband would be even more mad at him, but he didn’t want to leave yet and the night was getting cold. “Thank you.” Xeno accepted Max’s hand and stood up, still feeling his shaky legs and giving short steps towards the house’s entrance. “I’m so sorry for bringing this horrible drama...it’s just that…”

“You love him.” Carlos closed the door and locked it, watching as his friend was guiding the albino towards the kitchen. 

“Of course I do.” He paid special attention to the house’s interior; the floor was an old-fashioned parquet with a blend of deep homely browns and the walls were the greens of summer gardens meeting a bold white baseboard. It looked warm and cozy, just as he remembered that time he visited so long ago. Xeno sat on a stool right in front of the kitchen counter, resting his arms on it and holding his chin. “I was just stupid enough to lose him…”

Carlos ran a hand through his curly dark hair while opening the fridge and taking out some ingredients to make a simple sandwich to the albino. “Just give him some time.” He sighed while spreading some mayo on a bread. “He’s too hurt and perhaps he won’t admit it to you, but he hasn’t stopped crying since the day he returned here.” 

“We’re not on your side, don’t get us wrong.” Max poured some cold lemonade on a glass and offered it to Xeno. “But we can’t just leave you outside; we heard your fight and saw your suitcase.” He scratched the back of his neck. “You were hoping to stay here, right?”

Xeno nodded, thanking them for the food and taking a sip of the lemonade. “I want Stanley to forgive me...I know I did something horrible, but…” He took a deep breath as his lips were quivering. “I still love him, he’s the love of my life...I just didn’t value what I had in life until I lost it.”

“Don’t feel sorry for him.” Stanley said while standing right in the door’s frame, with a cigarette resting on his lips and one hand tucked inside his pocket. “He’s an expert in lying and making a fool out of you.” If one could look closer at the blonde’s eyes, they would have noticed how swollen and red they were from the constant crying. 

The words hurt him deeply and suddenly the albino lost all his appetite, but everything was true; he used to have fun behind his back and broke all their wedding vows. 

“Didn’t I tell you to leave? You can hear, right?” He chuckled while furrowing his brows. “You used to be so intelligent…”

Xeno was about to answer him, but Carlos won the albino on that. “He’s our guest.” 

“So now you are on his side…”

“We’re on no one’s side.” Max said, placing the finished sandwich in front of Xeno. “But he can’t be alone at night, Stan. You know that.” 

The sniper’s anger was burning him up inside; his fists were clenching and unclenching hard. “Do whatever you want then, I see you two don’t respect me.” His blue glare set right into the black orbs. “Don’t fucking go near me, understood? Or I’ll kick you out when these bastards aren’t in the house.” 

“Stan...I…” Xeno stood up and tried to take a step near the blonde, but Stanley showed him his palm in a clear sign to stop. 

“First warning. Don’t get near me.” 

And Xeno stood right there, watching how his husband turned on his heels and climbed the stairs, losing his image right when he reached the second floor and wiping away the fat tears that were dirtying his face. 

Xeno knew Stanley since childhood, being forever sweethearts and this was the first time in his life that the blonde had talked to him with that great and intense anger, but he couldn’t blame him. At least he could start his sabbatical year right there, inside the blonde’s second house, he would try to show his husband how sorry he truly was. 

The albino could pull himself to standing, even if years would come in such generous streams as he longed for his husband’s hand to reach. 

“We have an extra room for you to stay.” Carlos said while gripping Xeno’s shoulder, trying to show him some support. “He needs to be alone, give him some time and then you’ll be able to talk to him.” 

“Thank you so much…” His dark eyes shifted to the side and became glazed with a glassy layer of tears and as Xeno blinked, they dripped from his eyelids and slid down his cheeks. He bit his lip tightly in an attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from his mouth, but in truly his heart sank. 

Xeno will take the room and do his best to win his husband’s heart again…

  
  
  


_ Sorry doesn’t prove anything, unless you truly mean it. And Xeno meant it with all his heart. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	17. Something Bad, Something Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first morning that Xeno woke up inside that house, he felt strange. He was feeling a horrible melancholy that was giving away the exit even if the albino wanted to pretend that it wasn’t there, softly calling him away from all that brough real joy.

The first morning that Xeno woke up inside that house, he felt strange. He was feeling a horrible melancholy that was giving away the exit even if the albino wanted to pretend that it wasn’t there, softly calling him away from all that brough real joy. It was telling him that he couldn’t ask for a hug, even less for a kiss; reashing for the sunshine was impossible and taking a walk among the soft hymns of trees was now a past memory. 

He didn’t want to get out of bed, somehow feeling even more lonely than when he was back at home. Stanley was right next door and it was impossible to approach him; Xeno wanted to cry as he knew he was more vulnerable now, with not a friend by his side, but his possible ex-husband. 

It was hard but he did manage. This melancholy was like a cloak that he couldn’t simply let fall to the floor and though he held it so tightly, the albino couldn’t find the warmth that he so desperately needed, yet it clung the anchor to his feed and it was the sole reason why it was impossible to find the surface of the sunshine. That horrible feeling of soft joy that lived in his most wonderful memories that he couldn’t forget, even less when taking a bath in a strange and different bathroom; one without Stanley’s towel or toothbrush, but one that was completely empty inside. 

He was finally clean and ready and after dressing himself with some black jeans and a big and loose red hoodie he walked down the stairs, poking his head inside the kitchen and not knowing what to feel when he found it completely empty. On one side he could somehow breathe, knowing that he didn’t have to glare at Stanley’s angry eyes, but on the other...he was really looking forward to asking for forgiveness once more. 

Xeno really didn’t feel like cooking, but his stomach was growling. He just spread avocado over the toast and sprinkled tomate on top as if it were cake decorations. There was a joy in how he did it, as if for a moment he was happily absorbed by a feeling of love that played in his subtle smile and soft gaze, but then he sat on the kitchen counter and decided not to glare on the phone, just grabbing the newspaper that some men leave all wrinkled by his side. 

It was just another day. Horrible, lonely and terrifying, unsure of the near future. 

He took a deep breath and cleaned the kitchen and once he felt a little better with himself, Xeno took his things and sat on the couch with the laptop right on his lap and for an instant he remained there. Sitting with the fingertips right on the keyboard, unsure of what to do or what to write. 

The albino had decided to take a sabatical year to try and solve things with his husband and on the same note to work on some pending scientific articles. But what was work? Because right now his work, his job felt like bullshit. The work that he used to love so deeply was now feeling empty and dull before his eyes. “I can’t concentrate…” He muttered to himself and how could he? When a million thoughts were running wild inside his mind. 

The hours passed and Xeno instantly glared at the front door when he heard a noise; his black orbs focused on the door knob and his heart was pounding hard against his chest, but in just a blink of an eye, he felt even more sad than before when noticing that Carlos and Max were the ones who arrived home. 

“How was your day?” He shyly asked as it was crsytal clear he was hopelessly waiting for  _ him. _

“Long and tedious.” Carlos answered while the other guy greeted him. 

“Is that so?” 

“Yeah, we have to train the new reclutes and they’re always afraid of doing everything.” The military man got inside the kitchen and cracked his back before opening the fridge’s door. “I’m starving.”

“Do you want me to prepare something for you two?”

Carlos turned around and arched an eyebrow. “Are you sure?” 

“That would be great!”

“Well, you two look tired and I’m just here writing while also invading your home.” Xeno closed his laptop and stood up to get near them, gently pushing them aside as he leaned forward to inspect what was inside the fridge. “It’s the least I could do.” It was almost dinner time; he had only eaten the toast from breakfast and drinking his weight on coffee; an idea crossed his mind and perhaps it was stupid to attempt doing it, but it was better to try something than doing nothing. 

Xeno rolled up his sleeves and tied an apron around his waist. “How does breakfast for dinner sound?” He chuckled as he started to work. 

Breakfast for dinner was a cute tradition that he shared with Stanley; every once in a while they would cook together and present a wide variety of dishes just for the two of them. 

The albino was sad while preparing everything, some perfectly round pancakes, eggs sunny side up, fried bacon and even cutting fruit to make a fresh salad with strawberry, melon and pineapple. It didn’t take him too much to finish, wiping away the sweat with a kitchen towel and calling to the both guys that were quietly napping on the couch. 

“Come have some dinner.” He said while pouring some orange juice for the three of them and sitting on the kitchen stool. 

“Woah Xeno! This looks amazing.” Carlos immediately filled his plate and started shoving everything inside his mouth. 

“Yeah, you’re so thoughtful. Thank you so much.” Max was less expressive than his friend, but his kind words surely meant a lot to the albino. 

They sat there, enjoying dinner and talking. It seemed as if Xeno was the only interested in keeping the conversation going-heaven forbid there be a pause or he would cry in front of them. 

The albino said something and it was instantly followed by Carlos and Max pretendedly interested response, they also said something and he politely laughs; neither of them talking about the things that really matter...to Xeno at least. 

Xeno sighed deeply, he was dying to ask, but was afraid of the answer or that the two guys were even mad at him, but he couldn’t keep waiting, having the same doubt swirling endlessly inside his mind. “Where’s Stanley?” He asked. Taking a huge weight off his chest. 

Both guys remained a bit quiet and, playing with their food before finally Carlos was brave enough to say something. “He went to a pub right after finishing work.” 

“Oh…” 

“Yeah.” The black-haired guy nerviously scratched the back of his neck. “He said he needed some time for himself, to relax...and think things through.” 

“I see…”

“You made this dinner for him, right?”

“Yeah, stupid, isn’t it?”

“It isn’t stupid.” Max softly squeezed the albino’s hand. “It’s your own way to try and fix things.” 

“He just doesn’t want anything to do with me...not anymore.” 

“Just give him more time.” 

“Yeah, man. He really needs some time.” Carlos shrugged his shoulders and tried to keep eating, but even if the meal tasted great, the mood was sour and he felt slightly bad by not knowing how to make the albino feel better. It was just an awkward moment for everybody. 

Xeno felt a knot inside his throat, one that even hurt him to pass down some water and his eyes were covered with a crystal layer of tears, so he just stood up and apologized to both guys. “I’ll be inside my room, please continue eating.” He didn’t look back, just quickly grabbed his laptop from the living room and almost sprinted up the stairs to lock himself inside his room. 

Some people said that crying is a cleaning of the soul, a rebonding with the vulnerable self and even a chance to realise what suffering and true pain are...but Xeno clearly knew it all and was sick of it. He kept sobbing after throwing his body against the mattress and nuzzling his face on the pillow, seeking for some air biting his bottom lip in order to avoid the wails to come out. 

He simply felt vulnerable and hopeless. 

* * *

“Thank you for joining me.” Stanley said while resting his hand on the rough paintwork that was coating the door and pushing it open; the hinges squeal as though they are a warning, but their plea is silenced by a wall of noise. 

“No problem. I was also in the mood for a drink.” Ryusui laughed while running a hand through his goldilocks. He always had a look of experience that perfectly suited him, especially because somewhere deep in those golden eyes was still lurking a dangerous invitation to play. He had a quality of masculine confidence that was a thousand times more potent than mere handsomeness; perfect goodlooks could leave everyone cold, but his kind of sexy charisma could go to anyones knees. 

“You don’t know how dry my throat feels.” And it was a painful truth. 

The laughter was overpowering the music and the conversations were swirling in a dirty cloud of smoke, the stagnant stench of cigarettes was helping to hide the collaboration of mephitic odors. Stanley really needed this and he sat on a boot with his friend, offering a cigarette to him and smiling when the other accepted. 

“Two dark beers, please.” Ryusui ordered before leaning close to the other blonde and allowing for his cigarette to be lit. He inhaled some of the smoke and quickly blew it out. “So, what’s wrong? Spill.” 

Stanley’s leg was trembling and he hated himself for that. Why did he have to become so vulnerable after Xeno? He was tired and sick of everything already and after a long day of work he wanted to relax and be alone at home, but that was impossible; those black puppy eyes were waiting for him and would plead him to talk things through. It was just that the sniper didn’t have anything to say...not now. 

“Xeno and myself are taking a break.” 

Ryusui whistled at the news and his golden eyes opened widely. “For real?”

Stanley nodded. “Yeah, I’m not joking. You know what happened and I can’t simply forgive him after everything he has done.” 

“Shall I mark today as  _ the day that love died _ ?” 

The sniper covered his eyes with one hand, trying his best in taking his friend’s comment as a stupid joke, but his teeth gritted and he breathe deeply. It was still too hard to process. “You’re not funny, dumbass.”

“I know.” Ryusui thanked the waitress once they received their cold drinks, winking an eye at her and once again paying attention to his friend. “It was just to lift the mood.” 

“It didn’t work.”

“Yikes!” He took a huge gulp. “And what are you going to do?” The marine arched an eyebrow and just patiently waited for the other’s answer. “Are you planning on asking for a divorce?” 

“I had thought about it.” Stanley’s fingers were sliding on the glass’s condensation before he regained the tight grip around it. He took a big sip, closing his eyes and feeling the chill running down his esophagus as his head made an involuntary shake. “This is strong.”

“Just to help you forget.” 

“One can’t forget four years of marriage plus all those years dating and being childhood sweethearts.” 

“Was Xeno your first?” 

Stanley could have felt offended if any other person had asked him that, but with Ryusui there existed a different confidence. If the sniper used to tell everything to Xeno, he told all his marriage problems with the marine, why? He didn’t even know, perhaps the golden blonde was just too nosy and Stanley got tired of avoiding his questions that he started to spill some secrets. 

“No.” He didn’t intented to said it so coldly, but his heart was throbbing and he drink a bit more. “I had some one night stands back at boot camp, but of course you know about that.” 

“Did you cheat on him?”

Stanley just shook his head and pinched his nose’s bridge. “No, we were obviously in love, but we weren’t dating. He didn’t mind, though.” He sighed. “He asked about all my previous experiences.” 

“Perhaps that’s why he did it.” 

The sniper set his empty glass on the table and was glad when Ryusui ordered a second round. “What do you mean?”

The marine lit another cigarette and after blowing some smoke circles he continued talking. “Xeno didn’t have another kind of sexual experience than with you, so when that other brat banged on his door, your husband let him in.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m not saying it’s an excuse, just that it’s a reason. Stupid or not, I don’t think Xeno did it because he loved that guy, but because he was curious.” 

All those words weren’t conmforting him, but horribly painful to hear. Stanley was constantly thinking about it, wasn’t he good enough? He did give him everything; his time, love and devotion and Xeno just...threw everything away for some vain passionate nights. “I’m not really sure about continuing this talk.”

“I understand.” Ryusui flicked the remains of his cigarette and squeezed the other’s hand to try and give him some comfort. “What are you going to do, then?” 

“I don’t know…” 

“Want my advice?”

“I’m not quite sure if I really want it.”

“But perhaps you need it.” 

“How so?” Stanley chuckled and finished yet another drink, already asking for the third one. 

“You know we’re friends and all, right?” Ryusui received the new drink and kept sipping on it. 

“Don’t you say?” A numbness was creeping into the sniper’s brain the way it did when he was a kid drinking too much slurpee too fast. “If you didn’t tell me, I would never have guessed.” He laughed. A good laugh is what he needed, right?

Ryusui leaned closer. “I can help you.” He said while smiling widely, showing all his pearls. 

Stanley narrowed his eyes and set the cold glass on the table. “How? Are you going to kiss me? He blabbered stupidly.

“I’m working up the nerve.” 

“Then what are you waiting for?”

And with that he opened a pandora box, but the reasons were because he was sad, lonely and even mad. Was this revenge? Yes. Did he care? No. 

Stanley savoured it, the lingering alcohol and strong smoke that lived inside the marine’s mouth, but he knew his taste was almost the same; they were kissing inside the bar right at the booth and the patrons weren’t even looking at them. 

Ryusui kissed him with the sharp sleek, a golden kiss, so swift and true and razor sharp, and his warmth was flowing right into him. Holding his face with one hand as the other was holding the burning cigarette and Stanley was fine with that, it was something he really needed. 

After some intense minutes of moans, tongue and saliva; Ryusui paid the tab and held the sniper’s hand. They didn’t need words, their eyes were saying everything and if one sound would come out of their mouths, then that sudden ilussion could be broken. 

Stanley didn’t want to get back home and eagerly accepted the marine’s invitation to his apartment. A place not too far away from the pub; a vehicle wasn’t needed, just two strong legs that were willing to run under the moonlight until they reached the door as it was only four blocks away.

The key got inside the bolt and Ryusui turned it around, quickly closing it behind his back before the sniper could back out of this new deal. Both needed it, one to scratch an itch and the other to get back at someone. The marine just laughed between kisses and caresses as he guided his friend into his room. 

Stanley’s breath was intensifying as he couldn’t believe he’s going to do that, but his mind was still foozy and he thought this was for the best; to ease the pain a little. To feel alive and to stop crying at night. This wasn’t his first time with Ryusui, but sure many years had passed in between, never daring to look back, but certainly his friend was liking to take advantage of the idea. 

The kisses are wetter and clumsier when they reach the bed and Ryusui eagerly turned his body in all fours while lifting his butt and spreading his cheeks open with one hand. “I’m ready…” He laughed. 

“Fucking bastard, you already knew?” The sniper wanted to laugh and teased him a bit, but when he pushed one digit inside the cavern, he noticed it was already wet and stretched. 

“There was no harm in preparing myself beforehand, right?” 

“You’re unbelievable.” 

“I’m horny for you.” Ryusui wiggled his butt. “Come on, Stan. Take it out on me.” 

Stanley brushed his hand while heavily sighing. The view was incredible and that night, for the first time in so many years, he felt like a free man; taking his already hard cock with one hand and carefully aligning it against the winking hole. 

The marine moaned loudly with the feeling of his friend’s bare cock pushing inside his slippery ass; both hands were on his hips and he threw his head backwards, for an instant locking eyes with the deep blue sea and nodding for him to continue. They were right there and there was no one stopping them; of course Ryusui didn’t want anything, just a fun night one stand for old time’s sake. 

Ryusui felt the other’s cock twitch inside him as the invasion was spectacular and he relished into the sensation of his hole being stretched even more; Stanley’s cock was one of the biggers he had inside and it was truly hard to forget him. “Please move.” 

The sniper did it. Rocking his hips hard and glaring down at how his cock disappeared between the two pinkish mountains; his friend felt so tight and so good, but it was different...of course he was going to keep thinking about  _ him _ . Stanley’s body was stronger, more muscular and more desperate while his dear husband was petite, cute and whiny. 

“Fuck! You’re so thick.” 

And Stanley tried to smile while keeping the movements; pounding into the golden blonde and letting one hand wrap around the hard length. Also bigger and veiny, not tiny; with Xeno he only needed two fingers and with this guy his whole hand. The differences were killing him but still some pleasure coursed through his body, even if he felt sick to his stomach; this was pure and raw revenge and perhaps it wasn’t worthy. 

The sniper pulled out and turned Ryusui’s body over, spreading his legs and kneeling inbetween, just to get inside the pink void once again, but he needed to look at his face. He fucked him right; hammering him with hard steady thrusts while he moaned and touched the other’s strong chest and well defined abs. It turned into pounding and inside the room the savage moans and slapping of the blonde’s balls against the marine’s ass were echoing in all four corners. 

“Yes! Harder!” 

Stanley reached down to stroke the bouncing cock that was already leaking precum and making a mess on his friend’s stomach and he could totally sensed that the marine’s breaths were coming faster and deeper; a fine sheen of sweat was glistening on his skin and the constant and lewd moans that were coming from his throat with the way that his body was quivering was showing an evident near orgasm. 

“You sure are a slut.” He teased and Ryusui tangled his fingers on the sniper’s goldilocks, pulling him closer to force their lips together and what was with his husband a chaste and wonderful kiss, with the marine it turned into something fierce and fast-burning, full of inquiry and shared pleasure. 

“Few men know that I’m a slut.” Ryusui teased and kissed him deeply, biting his bottom lip and delving his tongue inside. 

“Lucky me, then.” 

Stanley sure enjoyed looking at the marine’s face, all blushed up and half-lidded eyes that were completely lost the moment he entered into paraside; his orgasms were always so expressive, so strong and so vivid. Splattering his pearly seed against both of their stomachs as his legs wrapped tightly around Stanley’s waist, pulling him closer as he wanted to feel him deeper inside. 

The sniper broke off the kiss, a loud moan escaped from his lips. It was almost unbearable how the wet cavern so feverishly clamped around his length, forcing him to pour his cum inside. 

Stanley was still drunk and he didn’t care when he leaned his face down to lovinly kiss Ryusui’s glowing face. “Thank you.” He whispered while pulling out his almost flaccid cock and admiring how the cum was dripping down his lover’s thighs, because that was what they were, at least for that night. 

The marine shook his head and smiled fondly while nuzzling his face against the pillows. “No, thanks to you.” He chuckled. “If you hadn’t been with me tonight, I would have had to convince a stranger from the bar.” He wanted to wrap his arms around the other’s body, but Stanley just sat there, continously brushing his messy hair out of his blue eyes; it was better to give him some more space. “Are you feeling good?”

“Yeah, don’t worry.” But a knot was hardening inside his throat; this wasn’t him and even if he find it pleasurable and that Ryusui was a great fuck, he still missed his husband. “But I don’t think I can do this anymore...one time was good, though.” 

“Glad to help.” He sighed. “So I guess you won’t be staying the night.” 

“I’m afraid not.” Stanley leaned down to steal a kiss from his friend’s lips. “This time was more than enough; let’s meet next time in a coffee house or a restaurant.” 

“That’s fine by me.” 

Ryusui just laid there in the bed, naked and with a blanket barely covering his body, just glaring and talking with his friend while Stanley was getting ready to leave. It was an awkward goodbye, but at least he was going to be able to sleep calmly that night; if just Xeno knew how lucky he was to have a guy like Stanley by his side. Someone that couldn’t even look at another man as his eyes were so hurt and full with love for the man of his life. 

He was even jealous. 

“Hmm, if I hadn’t been a slut during boot camp.” He whispered to himself once the sniper left his apartment. “Stanley would have been mine...don’t let him go Xeno.” He placed an arm over his eyes while trying to rest. “Don’t be as stupid as I was.” 

  
  


* * *

The blonde returned home and he felt like breathing again. That one night stand shouldn’t remain a secret and he had every right to do it, but he still felt horrible inside. Even more when he opened the door and saw the dinner’s leftovers; pancakes, eggs, bacon and fruit. 

“Breakfast for dinner…” He said while sitting on a stool and grabbing a fork to poke on the cold plates. It tasted wonderful and it brough so many fond memories. 

The negative memories come with a cost, as addictive as they feel, once lessons are learnt there is nothing in them of value...and Stanley really wanted to forget about them, but the positive memories come as a friend with a picnic basket, they are good and nourishing, supportive and kind. 

And he stood there. Eating and drinking what he was sure Xeno cooked. They hadn’t shared a breakfast for dinner since August and the sniper wanted to cry right then and there; it tasted so good and he felt so bad with himself and with everything that was happening inside his life. 

It was so easy to go upstairs and knock on Xeno’s door, but he still pictured him with Senku and those memories were hard to forget and even less to ignore. 

He didn’t even know what they were...husbands, lovers, friends or...exes.

Stanley didn’t like any option. Not while drunk. 

* * *

“Senku, what are you doing back home?” Byakuya was surprised to open the door and see his son right there with Tsukasa by his side. “The school year isn’t over.” He then gasped. “Did something happen?” 

“Dad…” Byakuya’s eyes opened wide, Senku never called him that. “I did something bad.”

  
  


_ If something bad happens, something good will come of it...or at least that’s what they say. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	18. A Cold Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xeno didn’t say a word. Not wanting to ruin that special moment, but he surely wanted to cry and beg for forgiveness once more. This wasn’t the time, not when he could enjoy every single second of that lovely closeness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for this late chapter!!! Christmas and New Year was wild!! But now I'm back!!

Byakuya prepared some tea. Of course he was happy to see his son, but it was a wild surprise; Senku had barely answered his text messages and calls as he claimed to be extremely busy with his college classes. 

He returned to the small living room and sat on his knees, placing the tray on top of the kotatsu and pouring some tea for his son and friend. “Are you telling me what happened?” Byakuya didn’t want to constantly ask, to keep poking the blonde to get some answers, but the words were constantly ringing in his ears:  _ I did something bad.  _

Byakuya didn’t want to think of the worst possible scenario, but it surely was worrisome that Senku had left his college back in the USA to be right there with him. 

“Yeah…” The blonde grabbed one cup of tea; he loved the feeling of the heavy blanket on his legs and even more to have Tsukasa by his side. He looked up and the brunette gave him a reassuring look, he just needed to start talking. “I...couldn’t be there, not anymore.”

“Why not?” The father arched an eyebrow and blew on the steamy tea to try and make it a little less hotter. 

“Because…” It was extremely hard and his eyes started instantly filling with tears; Tsukasa squeezed his right hand and that allowed Senku to take a deep breath. “I got involved in an affair…” 

“An affair?” This whole chat was turning weird for Byakuya; Senku was never the one who had trouble talking about his stuff. 

Senku pinched his nose and sighed deeply. “Please don’t judge me that hard...I don’t need it right now...but I got in a relationship with Dr. Xeno.” There was it, he finally said it. 

“In a...relationship?” Suddenly the warm tea made his throat dry. “Like...a couple thing?”

Senku couldn’t take it anymore, it was so embarrasing to talk about it so freely, even more in front of his father. It was completely different when he vented to Chrome and to Tsukasa as they both understood him from the very beginning. “Yes…” He hid his face between both hands.

“But Xeno is...married.”

“I know! I freaking knew, but didn’t care.” 

“Since when?” It almost felt as if he didn’t know his son; Byakuya never expected Senku to be meddling into someone’s established relationship. 

“Since…” He swallowd hard. “Since August, right after starting college; we reconnected and one thing led to another.” Senku looked up to see the shocked expression of his father. “I have had a crush on him since forever and I couldn’t stop thinking about him...so when I finally was in front of Xeno I just…” He was crying already. “I just let myself go and he accepted me.” 

“Xeno?” It was hard to believe. “And...Stanley?” Of course Byakuya perfectly knew about Xeno’s husband; they were even dating when the American came to study abroad and stayed inside their home so many years ago.

“He…” It was hard to keep talking. 

“Take a sip of tea, please.” Tsukasa’s hand was softly caressing his back, up and down with steady movements. 

Senku nodded and shakily took his cup, feeling the warm liquid dripping down his throat and finding some words to continue his stupid story. “He...found out.” He sighed even more. “Stanley screamed at us, slapped me...and I ran away as the coward that I am…” He finally looked into his father’s eyes, fearing the horrible deception that he was causing him. “Tsukasa helped me, to get over him, to know I was in the wrong and even to start loving myself.” 

The fighter kissed the blonde’s top of the head, still trying to show some support. 

“I dropped out of college. I couldn’t stay there and face him, not after ruining his life…” 

“You didn’t ruin it…” Tsukasa whispered, leaning closer and placing an arm arount the blonde’s shoulders, pulling him closer. “You just...committed a mistake, but you’re now accepting it.” 

“Senku…” They both turned their glares to meet Byakuya’s, who was now softly sobbing and getting closer to his son; Tsukasa let him go and the father embraced him tightly, hiding Senku’s face on his chest. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know anything of this.” 

The blonde couldn’t believe it; he even expected for his father to yell at him or felt sick by his horrible doings. He started crying, right between Byakuya’s arms and inhaling the strong rainy scent that lingered on his clothes; crying felt like a cleaning of his sould, a rebounding with his vulnerable self, an opportunity to realise he had the right to suffer and he was glad to be right there with his family. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t even say it…”

“I feel like the worst son…”

“You aren’t.” He sighed. “Just like Tsukasa said, you committed a mistake, but you got out of there.” Byakuya really didn’t know what to say, it was hard, but he was going to support his son no matter what and to be honest he felt somehow happy to be there in Senku’s first mistake. The boy needed his father and he was gladly there. “Are you staying here?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind.” 

“Of course I don’t! This is your home.” 

“Thank you…” 

And here he was, right inside the home he grew up in; the one filled with tea scent and with tons of love. He was loving to be there with him; Senku liked simple things and after all, what’s more simple than love? Byakuya was also quite the hugger, never serious and loving him so dearly. 

There were billions of reasons and he felt like unable to rest but Senku now knew he shouldn’t worry anymore as everything will be alright. 

“Can Tsukasa also stay here?”

Byakuya laughed and stretched out his hand for the brunette to take it. “Yeah, if he wants.” He looked up at the hazel eyes. “Do you want to stay here with us?”

“I would love to…”He chuckled and also hugged them. “We just started dating, but I can say I love your son dearly.” 

“Thank you for being there with him...on his ups and downs.” 

They all broke the hug and Senku got closer with Tsukasa, not really believing how the brunette could love him after all the things he did and even after breaking his heart once, but he wanted everything to be in the past as he needed to move forward. 

“I’ll always be there to protect Senku.” He kissed his cheek. “But there’s still something else to do.”

The blonde double blinked, he had told everything to his father, he only avoided to mention all the sexual details as that was something he didn’t have the guts to spill; it was too much, too intimate and he even felt embarrassed by it all. 

“What thing?”

“You have to apologize to Stanley.”

“What?!” He was surprised to say the least. “He hates me, I can’t really talk to him...and about what? Sorry for…” Screwing your husband behind your back?”

“Exactly that. That you’re sorry for having an affair with Xeno.” The brunette heavily sighed while pouring some more tea on their almost empty cups. “It’s the least you can do; he deserves it…” 

“Yeah, but…”

“He’s right, Senku.” Byakuya crossed his arm and tried to portray a serious look on his face. “You need to apologize to Stanley, perhaps it won’t fix things between him and Xeno, but it’s important that you awknowledge your wrong doings.”

“Let me think about it.”

“Just for a short while.” Tsukasa teased. “I can let you rest these days and then I’ll bother you again for you to talk to him.”

“Yeah, you also need to enroll in some college. Have you thought about the Tokyo University of Science?” 

“Yes, it’s one of my plans.” He sighed and drank more of the tea, finally feeling how it was slowly warming his trembling body. “I don’t intend to go back to Usa, I want to stay right here with you two…”

“Senku! I’m so happy!” Byakuya screamed while hugging his son again. “I missed you so much!” 

And it was good to be back home. Even if he was there for other circumstances, he was glad to be with Tsukasa and his father; Senku also needed to pay a visit to Taiju and Yuzuriha, but that could wait for later. 

  
  


* * *

Stanley opened his eyes to the dimly lit room, though it was daytime he didn’t feel like opening the thick drapes. He feels horrible and squinted, feeling a dry mouth sticky with thick saliva and letting out a soft moan before pulling up the covers to hide his face underneath it. 

He couldn’t believe the stupid thing he did yesterday. Stanley was vividly remembering everything, how he kissed and made out with Ryusui, fucking him passionately and running away once his afterglow vanished. 

It felt good, Stanley wasn’t going to lie, but it also felt wrong in every single way. Ryusui wasn’t Xeno and he couldn’t stop picturing his husband’s body. 

Why did his life have to change that way? The sniper was hating every bit of it as he missed him dearly, but he couldn’t forgive him so easily. 

He didn’t trust the albino, but he sure loved him; more than dear life and that was also killing him. 

The next days inside his home were still a weird routine. 

Xeno was living right there with him, but Stanley did his best to avoid talking with him. In his mind there was nothing to talk about, no after picturing him with Senku; fuck! He hated that brat with all his guts as for the sniper, Senku was the guy that tore his marriage apart. 

Stanley would walk down the stairs to find Xeno making breakfast, every single morning. Of course Carlos and Max were more than happy to eat that delicious meal that his still-husband cooked for them, but the sniper had a bigger pride; he just walked inside the kitchen and prepared some toast with butter, quickly eating it and gulping down a glass of milk before running out of the house. 

Xeno always tried to talk to him. 

“Don’t you want some scrambled eggs?” 

“Want me to refill the glass for you?” 

“Stan, we’re watching a movie, wanna join us?”

But the sniper didn’t even answer. It wasn’t worthy, although his heart throbbed every single time he blatlantly ignored the albino. 

It was hard, but every emotion he felt was okay, helpful in the right situation. Stanley’s dark emotions were like salt, just a pinch that was adding some flavor, yet too much was surely ruining the entire dish. The best thing he could do to try and move on, was to keep seeing Ryusui two times a week; it was sickening, despiseful and the sniper felt bad every single time during the aftermath, but it was the best he could do to try and forget a tiny bit about Xeno. 

After one month living together like that, Stanley didn’t notice when he finally answered him back. 

“Stan, I made some lemonada, do you want some?”

“Yes, darling.” 

The words echoed inside the kitchen and the sniper bit his lip when noticing it was too late; he turned his face to meet the dark orbs, orbs that were as surprised as him. He felt extremely stupid for saying it out loud; it was some muscle memory from his tongue and just hoped that the albino didn’t think something out of that. 

Xeno felt his chest hurting as his heart wanted to jump out of it, but he gasped loudly and poured the cold liquid in a glass. “Here.” His lips were trembling, he surely had missed his husband’s voice and more the soft pet name; it was almost like a dream come true. 

“Thank you.”

Stanley sat on the kitchen stool, holding the glass between his fingers and letting the small droplets wet his skin. It was a bit awkward as he didn’t know what to say or do; there was something deep inside him of not wantint to be rude to the albino. 

“How was your day?” Xeno gathered some strength and muttered some words. 

“Fine...I’m just a bit tired.” 

“You should rest, then.” Perfect! A conversation had started and he was squealing on the inside, taking a seat in front of the blonde. 

“Once I finish this glass.”

“Do you want me to prepare a bath for you?”

Stanley’s mouth twisted; that surely sounded nice. Almost like the good old days. “Yeah, I mean…” He shrugged his shoulders. “If you don’t mind…”

“None at all.”

There was that horrible silence again. Out of the corner of his eye, Xeno thought he saw Stanley shoot him a look of rage; he was already getting used to those damn stares, but then he glanced again at him and he smiled as his husband looked as he always did: easy, confident and slightly bored. 

“Hey…” Stanley’s blue eyes fixated on him once more. “Can we do something after your bath?” It was a long shot, but they were now talking...at least something. Xeno clearly remembered how easy it was to talk with the blonde for hours on end. 

“Like what?” 

“Dunno…” He was playing with the glass, outlining over and over again the surface. “Perhaps watch a movie right here in the living room, go take a small walk outside or...have dinner together.”

“I’m not so sure about that.”

Yeah, it was a stupid question. It sure looked like Stanley was never going to forgive him. “I’ll go prepare the bath, then.” He took a last sip of his cold beverage and stood up, slowly walking and vainly hoping for the sniper to say some more words, but Stanley remained silent as a tomb. It really hurt. 

Once Xeno got upstairs, he went directly to the bathroom; he had promised to prepare everything and it gave him a feeling of their old life, as lame as that sounded. Bath time was important for them; a heady combination of bliss with the memories of their marriage combined with the mature joys that relaxation brought. 

He sighed and turned over the knob, letting the warm water fill every inch of the tub while he started adding some bubbles, essential oils and flowery scent salts. If Stanley could let him join him, that would be the dream, but that was too much to ask...too intimate for now. 

“Stan…” Xeno softly called from the top of the stairs. “Your bath is ready.” He heard the blonde’s footsteps and his heart skipt a beat the moment the deep blue sea was glaring at him. 

Stanley softly rubbed his silvery locks and muttered a: “Thanks.” Before getting inside the bathroom and closing the door with a loud thud. 

That was it. 

Another door was between their way. 

Xeno leaned his left palm and forehead on the wood, inhaling deeply and doing his best in avoiding to cry some more. At least they somewhat talked, but it was far from their old chatting habits and it was slowly killing him. 

He didn’t know how much he could take, but Stanley surely was punishing him and Xeno knew he deserved it. 

* * *

Some more days passed. 

Xeno heard one afternoon that Stanley was sleeping around with some old friend of his. 

He didn’t get out of his room that night, just heavily crying on his bed and hiding his face between the pillows. 

So that’s what Stanley felt when he knew about his affair with Senku. 

It was an undescriptable pain. 

Xeno had selfishly decided on this life and he hated every second of it. No matter what, he couldn’t stop picturing Stanley with another man. Was his husband loving another? Was it mere revenge? What was it? 

He used to be Stanley’s priority and now Xeno didn’t even know if he was still an option. 

The albino was afraid of the divorce papers coming his way, but at least the sniper wasn’t mad for his overstaying inside the military home. They were talking a bit more, day by day, little by little. 

Then one Friday night, Xeno was working on his laptop right at the dining table. The three men who he lived with were gone for the whole day, leaving him entirely alone and he only cooked for one. It was sad, but at least his work distracted him from his terrible life. 

Stanley got home almost at 8 o’clock and greeted him. 

Xeno immediately blushed; he felt like a highschool girl that was barely noticed by the handsome senior. He shyly noticed how the blonde opened the fridge’s door and stared at it; the albino giggled, he used to tease Stan to close the damn door as he would make all the food turn bad. 

The sniper remained there, softly groaning and scratching the back of his hair while angrily closing the door. There was nothing that he wanted or like inside the fridge. He thought for a moment, turning on his heels and rolling his eyes a bit when noticing the black orbs were staring at him; Xeno was so damn obvious. 

“Want to go grab some pizza?” 

Xeno was lost at words. He even felt stupid, was he talking to him? But to who else? There was no one else. 

“Yes or no?” The sniper sounded annoyed. 

“YES!” Gosh! How pathetic, but his dignity was way lost at that point. 

“Cool, grab your coat. There’s a pizza place on a walking distance from here.” 

Xeno did as told. It felt weird, but right at the same time. Were they making paces? He wanted that so badly, even if Stan walked near him and he could smell some unknown cologne on his clothes. Was he with him? He shook his head, there was no time to think about that, he even deserved it. 

That was Xeno’s constant mantra... _ I deserved it.  _

“I’m ready…” 

“I can see that.” The sniper chuckled and opened the house’s door, allowing for his husband...because Xeno still was, to get outside first. 

“Thank you for inviting me.” 

“No problem.” Stanley tucked both hands on his leather jacket, watching the albino out of the corner of his eye. Xeno surely looked cute, with both hands over his mouth as he tried to blow on them some hot air; he was always so chilly. 

Stanley didn’t think about it. A memory reflex. He passed his arm over Xeno’s shoulders and pulled him closer to his body as they continued walking under the cold night. 

It was a lame reason to draw that drew them closer to one another, to feel that natural warmth they were born to give. 

Xeno didn’t say a word. Not wanting to ruin that special moment, but he surely wanted to cry and beg for forgiveness once more. This wasn’t the time, not when he could enjoy every single second of that lovely closeness. 

It was a cold moonless night. The sky was dark and low, the air so chilled it hurt to breate, but they were walking to get some pizza and Xeno couldn’t be happier. 

  
  


_ Cold nights often have warm memories to hold with. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	19. Pizza with Black Olives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I ordered our pizza with black olives.” Stanley coughed while returning to sit on the small table right inside the restaurant. “I know you love them.” He also gave the albino a can of Diet Coke while he opened a Sprite one; the blonde wasn’t in the mood to drink some alcohol, a good small talk and a nice warm meal sounded more than enough. 

“I ordered our pizza with black olives.” Stanley coughed while returning to sit on the small table right inside the restaurant. “I know you love them.” He also gave the albino a can of Diet Coke while he opened a Sprite one; the blonde wasn’t in the mood to drink some alcohol, a good small talk and a nice warm meal sounded more than enough. 

“Thank you.” The can felt extremely cold between his fingers but he didn’t care; Xeno was doing his best in keeping his heart beating steady as it was almost begging to rip his ribcage and run away from the restaurant. “Yeah, they’re my favorite pizza topping.” 

The small place reminded him about their first dates while in college, of course they also used to go and eat during high school, but both of them were still in denial about their true feelings. 

The pizzas they used to share had a base that was an inch thick and as white as Stanley’s unfinished term papers; the sauce tasted like it came straight out of a cheap can and the topping was generous but extremely greasy. The overly thick slices of pepperoni sat in pools of grease from the cheese, the only color came from the shards of black olives on top. And even if those pizzas tasted weird, Xeno truly loved them...more as he used to spend so much time with the sniper. 

He sighed deeply before taking a long sip of his beverage; luckily for him their meal came fast and the steam was helping him relax a bit. 

Xeno had never been that nervous around the blonde. It was almost natural how their conversation used to flow. Stanley was his best friend since their early childhood; he was that special sunshine that always lighted his world and now in this perfect velvety night, there’s an inky and perfect black, but the sniper was still his light...a light that was somehow growing inside his soul and shining through his dark eyes. 

“Aren’t you going to eat?” 

That question surely took him out of his own mind. It was better that way. “Sure, I’m starving.” 

“Don’t worry, if one pizza isn’t enough, we can always order a second one.” 

Xeno laughed. “Well, that only happened because you always ate everything before I got a chance to grab a second slice.”

“That’s your own damn fault for being a slow eater.”

“Well, excuse me for wanting to enjoy my food.” And with that he took a big bite, truly missing the greasy mess they used to experience back at home, but a good pizza was always a great meal for an empty stomach. 

It seemed that things were slowly changing as both of them were continously talking. It was the giggles that were the lighting up the place, the laughter, the smiles. They were seeing the funny in everything and that was their special bond; of course they were also capable of being serious, but now wasn’t the time for that, even if Xeno was dying to ask for forgiveness once more...wanting to be back to their old lives and regretting every single second what he did to their perfect relationship.

True to be told, the first pizza dissappeared in the blink of an eye and Stanley ordered a second one with ham and green peppers. It was amazing that they were able to keep a funny chatter even after their month of silence. 

It was pretty obvious that both of them still loved each other, or at least that was what Xeno wanted to think, so he guessed the humor that they were now sharing was letting out the tension that kind of love could bring. In that silly moment they were perfect and they were the sweetness that Xeno needed in these tough times. 

“Did they really do that?” He wanted to continue the chatter. 

“Yeah! I hate the noobs, they don’t even know how to hold a gun.”

“Well, that’s why it’s so great that they have you as their teacher.”

“I don’t have time to teach them how to shoot.” 

“But you’re the expert.” Xeno giggled, already feeling full but sipping on his coke. “That’s why they want you here at the base.” He sighed. “There’s no better sniper than you.”

“Yeah! But they’re a bunch of stupid assholes.”

He chuckled a bit more. “Well, it isn’t their fault that they didn’t know how to shoot at blanks since elementary school.” 

“It surely was fun to shoot at those glass bottles.” 

“And even more to watch you do it.” Stanley’s hand was so close to his on the table, Xeno only needed to reach it and their skins would be able to touch again, but he resisted from doing it. Not wanting to get on the blonde’s bad side, not after everything they were enjoying that night. 

Xeno offered to cover half of the bill, but his cheeks blushed deep the moment the sniper denied it, taking out his wallet and placing a bill on the table. Not taking no for an answer and it almost felt like a date...almost. 

They walked back home...or at least that’s how Xeno referred to the house where he lived in separate rooms with his husband. 

It was a complicated situation. They were still legally married, but...was Stanley still loving him? After everything he had done, he wasn’t sure anymore and the albino totally deserved it….he just didn’t want to accept it. 

Xeno sadly sighed the moment they reached the house, even more when the blonde closed the door behind their backs; it was almost pitch dark inside. It looked like Carlos and Max hadn’t returned home, perhaps also having some fun of their own in one of the nearby bars. 

“Thank you for the dinner.” The albino said, slowly walking towards the stairs, he was glad that Stanley was right by his side, it was already late and after having all those sudden mixed emotions, he wanted to rest for a bit and think things through...even think of a new approach to continue with this great closeness with the blonde. 

“Don’t thank me.”

“Well, I just did.” Xeno stopped dead on his tracks when he reached his room. Had it come to an end? The perfect night? He sighed once more, not wanting to cross that door, but there was no other option; he looked up, meeting with the deep blue sea that he so intensely loved. “Good night, Stan…” 

“Good night, Xeno.” 

But the blonde didn’t walk away. 

The albino was shocked, not really knowing what to do when he felt some soft and pink painted lips brushing against his own. Was it finally happening? Oh God, he could cry right then and there. 

Stanley was kissing him so suddenly and Xeno only had the strength left to wrap his arms around the blonde’s neck to deepen the kiss. 

People gave up too soon on dreams and hope, but both of them were right then and there; Xeno slowly opened his eyes, with the truth in mind and returning to the world only to find his own eyes were filled with tears; he almost felt like drowning. 

“Stan...I…” He said against the blonde’s lips.

“Don’t say anything.”

And he gasped right when the blonde lifted him from the ground, just like during their wedding night and just like every single night that they shared together...before his mistakes. He really did mess everything up.

Xeno heard the lock on his bedroom door and he couldn’t stop kissing his husband’s lips; he truly had missed every single bit of Stanley...how his soft goldilocks felt between his fingers, how his velvet tongue delved inside his mouth, how the smokey scent was overtaking his senses and how beautiful he truly was. 

“Stan...please.” 

“Shh…” He muttered again, kissing him more insistently while laying the smaller body on the bed. 

Xeno gladly obeyed, soon raising more his head to keep kissing the blonde on the lips; he was enjoying it all as it was soft and gentle, opened mouth and feverishly. It lasted long enough for them to feel its effects and even to want more. 

Stanley was moving quick and gently, already getting rid of their clothes and the albino wasn’t opposing any ressitance, not after waiting so long for that mere moment to be beneath his love. His white skin was flushing red and his wild hands were desperately roaming the blonde’s back, wanting to touch every single inch of that warm skin. 

His husband raped him during their last time together. 

Xeno shut his eyes for a second, trying to shake that memory away; it was the worst day of his life and this wasn’t the moment to relieve it.

Stanley was admiring the albino, running his hand up and down the slim chest, touching his pink nipple and then tracing a line to the fatty hip, carefully brushing the cute cock that was already coming to life. 

They looked at each other, the blue sea at the black abyss...Stanley leaned closer and stoling another kiss, smiling into his eyes and ending the brushing of their lips with a little mutual “hmm” of pleasure. 

It sure felt wonderful and Xeno wanted to cry tears of joy, but he was forcing himself to think that this wasn’t the moment for that. 

Neither of them had so far spoken a word since Stanley asked for a bit of silence; their communication so far was all by means of movement, one leading them towards the next step and the other following it happily. It made them unite their bodies in tight embraces, affectionate kisses and soft moans. 

Stanley’s hand was still tracing gentle lines across the white skin of the albino’s back, but he suddenly changed the area, fingers softly brushing on both nipples and the swell of his bottom as far as he could reach. Xeno was melting into his husband’s touches, wanting once more to scream and moan for forgiveness, moving himself slightly to allow the sniper to fondle every inch of his body. He loved Stanley’s hands. 

The sniper couldn’t stop kissing him, rubbing one perky nipple with the pad of his thumb and bringing it to life, before reaching as far down as he could to gripped on the soft thighs and hear soft mewls from the albino’s mouth. God! How he missed to teased Xeno in that kinky way.

Xeno wriggled a little further up to increase the blonde’s reach, carefully forcing his own small cock to brush against his husband’s arm or fingers, just feeling more desperate for him to stroke it. There was a moment when Xeno moaned intensely right when his thigh momentarily rested on the blonde’s hard length. 

He sure wanted it all inside him. 

He needed Stanley inside him.

“Stan...please...just…”

“Yeah.” But the blonde shut him up with his tongue and Xeno rested his head on the pillows, glaring at his husband with half-lidded eyes as he slowly traced a trail of kisses on his body, teasingly sucking his cock’s tip before going further down.

Stanley spread Xeno’s ass cheeks, admiring the pink hole that was desperately twitching for his attention and also noticing how the albino was completely exposed 

There was no lube. Just spit. 

The blonde poked his tongue out, slowly letting it trail downwards, flickering teasingly at his perineum and immediately sending jolts of pleasure that were coursing through his own body. Xeno held his breath, but he couldn’t take his dark glare away from his husband. 

“You like that?” Stanley finally asked him something.

“I love it…” Stanley just smiled while his pink tongue was smoothly gliding up and down the cute bouncy balls. Xeno threw his head back in ecstasy as he felt the warm wet touch of the blonde’s tongue, sliding in small circles around his pink void. “Please keep going.” 

The sniper was glad by the albino’s body movements; he swabbed the hole with long, sensual swipes before deciding it was wet enough. This was it. 

He had only had sex with Ryusui for the last month, feeling it more like a constant battle and trying his best to forget all about the cheating, the betrayel, the bad feelings, but of course it wasn’t enough. He just felt emptier every time he touched his friend as there wasn’t love, but just some lustful passion between the sheets. 

Stanley was massaging Xeno’s round melons, massaging and caressing them...they were much softer and pinkish than Ryusui’s. He didn’t want to compare, it wasn’t fair, but a strong body wasn’t a match to his cute husband’s frail figure; he really loved him. Even if Xeno broke his heart into a million pieces. 

“You’re...ready…”

“Yes…”

Stanley just nodded, getting a hold of his hard length and giving it a few hard strokes. He outlined the throbbing hole and with one quick movement, the sniper pushed it inside, groaning loudly when feeling the tight walls that were swallowing him completely. He surely missed it. 

Xeno moaned, reaching a hand out to him as Stanley rooted his cock deep inside; he was staring down into the black orbs that were so love and lust-filled. The albino’s fingernails grazed down his back, sending a ticklish shiver through the sniper’s torso. 

“Fuck me…”

“That’s what I’m doing.” 

“I’m glad.” Xeno’s free hand quickly moved to caress the blonde’s cheek and he loved that Stanley was so close to him, feeling him inside and exchanging a series of unending kisses. Everything was suddenly turning alright. 

The blonde withdrew for a second before plunging back in; letting a series of soft gasps as his hips rose and fell repeatedly; Xeno wrapped his legs tightly around his ass. Stanley kept gliding in and out of the pink void with an increasing speed, suddenly lifting the albino’s legs up onto his shoulders in order to achieve deeper thrusts and to admire Xeno’s parted mouth, lustful eyes and shivering chest. 

“I love…” Xeno moaned a bit more. “I love when you fuck me like this.”

“I know…” Stanley chuckled. His balls were striking the albino’s ass with every single thrust and with every touch of their skins, Xeno’s dark eyes flashed with heated intensity as he reached out to grab hold of the blonde’s wrist. 

It was an intense dance, one that Xeno didn’t want to end. He had dreamt of this moment during so many nights, crying himself to sleep and even thinking that he had lost his bigger love and all for a stupid mistake. 

He regretted having developed an affair with Senku, now that he was fully enjoying his husband, the albino noticed how unworthy everything was. 

“Stan, I love you.” He said over and over again, coursing a bit inside when a bubbling sensation invaded his whole body; his small cock was leaking precum and his stomach was perfectly filled with his husband. Just as how it was supposedto be. 

Xeno’s pink void clenched hard around the sniper’s length. A string of shiny stars dirtied their stomachs and the albino was glad that his husband kept kissing him, even drinking every single moan and love word that his lips were giving out. 

Stanley kept rocking his hips, groaning loudly with the clamping of the thight walls; the pink tunnel was constantly pulsating and he couldn’t keep it any longer, reaching his peak and pouring his milky seed right inside Xeno’s body. He loved to mark him as his own.

Xeno was his...and no one else’s...right?

The blonde was gasping right on top, hovering the still trembling body and even exchanging some lazy kisses before pulling out. It felt great, just as how he remembered. 

But now he didn’t know what to do.

He itched an intense scratch and beneath him was Xeno, looking up at him with so much love and devotion. 

Stanley’s heart ached at the image. He couldn’t be so cruel to him, but Xeno...Xeno ruined everything...right?

“Stan…” 

Hearing his name made him come back from dreamland and to face the dark abyss that were still hopelessly glaring at him. 

“Stan…”

“Yeah?”

“Are we…” Xeno gulped. “Are we good?”

“No…”

Those words felt as if someone had thrown a bucket of cold ice at him. “What do you mean?” The albino quickly sat on the bed and grabbed a pillow to hug while facing the blonde. “What do you mean with no? We...we just…” 

“I just wanted to fuck.”

“Yeah, but…”

“But that’s it.” Stanley was regretting saying those words, he hated to make Xeno suffer, but he was thinking about the affair...that fault wasn’t letting him alone and he let his guard down. Stanley enjoyed their little date, to chat with his husband and even to make love to him, because that was what they did just now...but he couldn’t find himself to forgive him...at least not yet. “I need to go.” He said while standing up and grabbing his clothes.

“Wait!” Xeno got a hold of his wrist in a last desperate attempt. “I’m so sorry…” He cried. “Please forgive me; every single day I regret what I did...Stan, please…”

“I can’t.”

“But we just…” Xeno was sobbing now, fearing the blonde’s glare. He swore it was filled with so much love a moment before, but now…

“We fucked, like you fucked Senku, got it?” Stanley needed out. “I need to go, Xeno. Don’t stop me, please.” He just put on his underwear and black jeans before unlocking the door. “Of course you can keep staying here, it was nice to have this day with you, but for now is everything that I can give you.” Stanley turned his face, feeling how his heart was shattering with every single tear that his husband shed. “Please accept it.”

Xeno covered his mouth with his right hand as he slowly nodded. There was no other option and once his husband left him alone inside the room, he kept crying a river all over the sheets, hugging them tightly as they still had the blonde’s scent. 

He really was a silly man. How could he think that Stanley was going to forgive him so easily? Not after everything that he did. 

Xeno wanted to stay inside that house. To keep fighting for his marriage, to keep begging for forgiveness and to keep loving his husband, but a smaller part was screaming at him to please stop...that everything was pointless now.

And perhaps that voice was right. 

* * *

Stanley took a quick bath, not every drying his body as he put on some clean clothes and ran away from the house. He felt horrible, like a sick-revengeful monster and he couldn’t stay to hear the albino’s constant sobs, not now that it was his fault. 

“What are you doing here so late at night?” Ryusui yawned when he opened his apartment’s door, pinching his nose and sighing loudly as he let his friend inside. “I’m tired.” He stretched both arms above his head and cracked his neck to the side. “I don’t feel like fucking right now.”

Stanley just shook his head and threw his body against the couch. “I didn’t come here for that, dumbass.”

“So?”

“I need to talk.” Stanley glared at his friend, meeting the golden eyes and appreciating that Ryusui was sitting on the couch in front of him. “I need to let everything out before making an important decision.”

“Fuck! It sounds like a long night.” The marine rolled his eyes and immediately got up, walking towards the kitchen and setting two glasses on the counter; glasses he filled with some whisky as he needed a clearer head to think. “And I won’t even get a happy ending.” He gulped the golden liquid down his throat. “But that’s fine, shoot.” Ryusui said as he poured himself a second glass and offered the other one to his friend. 

  
  
  
  


The trouble with love is fear...and indifference just looks the same on the outside.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing reading this story!!


	20. All This Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Then what are you planning to do?” 
> 
> “I don’t know…”
> 
> “Do you love him?”

“Then what are you planning to do?” 

“I don’t know…”

“Do you love him?”

Stanley poured some more whisky on his glass, sighing deeply before taking a huge sip. The warm liquid was helping him or at least he felt that way. “It’s complicated.”

“True love doesn’t vanish in just a few weeks, right?”

“No, but it can sure be tainted by a big mistake.”

Ryusui sighed deeply. He moved from the kitchen to the living room as it felt like a long night; at least he didn’t want his back to ache for keeping an umcomfortable position. “You still accepted for him to live inside your house.” 

“I didn’t have a choice. I left him outside on the street and fucking Carlos and Max brought him in.”

“Well, surely Xeno isn’t a dog that you can kick out to the curve.”

“No, but I feel I deserved some time apart, without his puppy sad face and his black orbs begging for forgiveness.”

“You’re right about that.” Ryusui gently gripped the sniper’s shoulder. “But he knows he did wrong, is crystal clear that he wants you back.”

“I know! I tried to ignore him for so long…” Stanley was feeling a huge knot forming right inside his throat. “To get inside the house and avoid his eyes, act as if he wasn’t talking to me or even walk right through him. I was finally doing it, but…”

“But?”

“We started talking, it almost felt too normal, too nice. Just as we used to be.” He sighed deeply. “And tonight I invited him to have some pizza. We talked a lot, even laughed, but I don’t know what happened once we were back at home...Xeno was getting inside his own room and I couldn’t control myself…”

“What do you mean?” Ryusui kept drinking, the amber liquid was calming his nerves as it was hard to hear all the distress and sadness from his friend. 

“I had sex with him.”

“So you cheated on me?” The golden blonde tried to joke about it, but bad timing as his friend just gave him a dark blue glare. “Sorry...don’t think it would offend you.” He took another sip. “Please, continue.”

Stanley sighed harder. Almost feeling how his lips were quivering. “Well, it’s mostly that. We had sex and I almost forgive him right on the spot, but each time we kissed and each time I saw into his black orbs…” The sniper turned to see his friend. “And I can still picture him with Senku...it’s even hard to recognize him…”

“Hey…” Ryusui sat closer, softly placing his hand on his friend’s knee. “It’s okay. Vent it all out, now it’s your chance.” 

There were always some things inside Stanley’s life that he wanted to give up, but Xeno was never one of them. His husband was never on the list, but right now he was glaring at his feet as his breath became a bit ragged and his heart kept beating hard against his chest. 

Suddenly it started raining. Stanley looked up, quickly remembering that he was inside Ryusui’s apartment. How silly he could be? He wiped away the endless tears that were running down his cheeks. Stanley couldn’t stop loving his husband.

Xeno betrayed his ever-lasting affection and left his heart shattered in a million pieces. And right when the albino stood in front of his door, asking for forgiveness, Stanley felt how he was still stealing a big part of him, making it impossible for the blonde to put himself together and yet, he came around; inviting Xeno for dinner and making love at night.

Why? Because he so desperately wanted the life that Xeno stole from them, but he was also afraid to return to that. He, a sniper, a man who had killed others during service was now afraid of a broken heart. 

Ryusui embraced him tightly, allowing Stanley to hide his face right on his chest. “Shh…” He sang. “Everything’s going to be alright…”

“I don’t know how…”

“As cold as it sounds, you only have two choices…” 

“Which ones?”

“To forgive or to forget.”

Stanley just sighed a bit more. He didn’t like any of those options. It was hard, a tough choice. 

“You love him?”

“More than life…”

“Then I think you have made up your mind.”

“Don’t be so sure about that.” 

Ryusui hummed softly, curling his lips between the goldilocks. “I guess you’re staying the night.” 

“Yeah, but I won’t be sleeping with you.”

The marine laughed fondly, at least his friend was feeling slightly better. “Don’t worry, I can get my sugar from someone else, but for now.” He kissed his cheek softly, almost in a platonic way before standing up and offering his hand to the sniper. “Let’s get to bed. You can think about this tomorrow morning.”

“I don’t want to keep thinking about this.”

“I know. But Xeno won’t leave your home until you decide on something.”

Stanley stood up and ignored the marine’s hand, just walking towards the bedroom with both hands inside his jeans. “Shut up already. I really need to try and get some rest.” He sighed and stopped death on his tracks, looking behind his shoulder and noticing that Ryusui was following him. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” 

* * *

  
  


Senku didn’t want to. It felt wrong. He was scared and it surely wasn’t his cup of tea. 

“Maybe tomorrow.”

“Call him.” Tsukasa was sitting right beside him on the bed. The blonde had tried to get away from that since so many days ago, but his boyfriend was tired of all his lame excuses. “You need to do it.”

“I don’t need to.”

“It's the right thing to do.”

“He’s going to hate me!”

“He hates you already.” Tsukasa placed the phone right on Senku’s right hand. “Call him. I’ll be here by your side, don’t worry about it.” 

The blonde took a deep breath. He didn’t even know how Tsukasa got a hold of Stanley’s personal phone number, but it was a relief that the brunette had helped him with that. The fighter was surely a big rock to cling on; Senku was loving him so much. “Fine!” He dial and patted his legs as the ringtone kept echoing. It even felt eternal. 

He gasped when he heard a vague. 

“Hello?”

“I…” Senku was lost at words and he quickly glared at Tsukasa’s face. The brunette softly kissed him and whispered. 

“Everything’s fine. Talk…”

Senku gulped hard. “Stanley?”

“Yeah? Who is it?”

“I’m Senk…” The blonde turned to glare at Tsukasa’s hazel eyes. “He hunged up.”

Tsukasa ran a hand through his long brown locks of hair and softly laughed. “Call him again.”

“Are you nuts!?”

“Senku, please. It’s important.” 

The blonde took another deep breath and with his pouty lips he called once more. It rang two times before someone answered the call. 

“Hi!”

“Don’t fucking call me again! You fucking homewrecker!”

“Wa-Wait!” But Stanley hunged up a third time. The blonde gave his phone to his boyfriend and sadly looked up at him. “He doesn’t want to talk with me, Tsu. And I totally get it.” 

The fighter kissed Senku’s forehead and called the number from his own phone. It did rang, which was good as the sniper hadn’t turned it off. “Hey! Hey, don’t hang up.”

“What the fuck do you want?” It wasn’t Senku’s voice, but the words made him think it was the tall guy. 

“I know this isn’t the best way to arrange things, but I think you’ll feel a bit better after letting Senku talk to you.”

“You don’t know anything about me or how I feel.”

Tsukasa took a deep breath. This guy was a bit hard. “Well, at least spill everything out. Curse at him or wish for his death…” Tsukasa noticed Stanley remained quiet for some seconds, so he was really thinking about it. That was a good sign. “I’m gonna give him my phone. Don’t hang up, okay?” The brunette did as told and placed the phone on Senku’s shaky hand; he kissed his boyfriend’s forehead. “You got this.” 

“Hey…”

“Listen you piece of shit. You got ten seconds to say whatever bullshit you want to say. I know this is for you to feel better with yourself, but that’s something impossible.” Stanley groaned on his end. “Shoot.” 

Senku took it as a challenge. He had to think his words straight as it seemed he didn’t have another opportunity to talk with Stanley. “I’m so sorry. I know I’m no one to express these words and I don’t expect your forgiveness. I deserved all these insults and more, don’t hold them back, but I couldn’t stay away and not say a thing to you.” His lips were quivering but he fought against the will to cry. “Even though Xeno and myself did something horrible, I was the one who pursued everything. The one who begged, who had a stupid crush since five years ago and the moment I saw Xeno after all that time, I pushed him to have sex with me…” Senku took another deep breath. “I know we both did wrong, I know we hurted you, but please forgive him. I cried and begged for him to be with me, but you were always the one inside his heart; I was just a toy, a good hobby, something to scratch an itch, but you? You’re the love of his life and I’m so regretful for hurting you...you didn’t deserve this so call bullshit.”

“FUCK YOU!”

Senku didn’t expect forgiveness, but at least it felt great to take it ouf of his chest. “I would do it if I could...I know I really deserved it.”

“That’s all?”

“Yes. Just please forgive him. I know we’re both at fault, but it all started because I traveled to America when I was supposed to stay in Japan.” 

“I just…”

“Yeah?” Senku double blinked. He didn’t think Stanley would continue the chat, as much as it hurted, it was better for the sniper to have all the information. 

“Nevermind. Don’t call me ever again or I’m going there to break your goddman face. That slap wasn’t enough.” And with that he hunged up. 

Senku dropped the phone on the mattress and almost crawled until Tsukasa hugged him tighter. “You did good.” 

“I did something horrible.” 

“But you have awknowledge that. That’s a huge step.” Tsukasa curled his fingers between the green-tipped goldilocks and softly hummed to try and make his boyfriend feel better. “You made a mistake, Senku, but you’re a great guy. It was important for Stanley to know the whole story. To know how much involvement you had in all that.”

“So why don’t I feel good about it?”

Tsukasa rested his chin on the blonde’s head. “It’s something difficut. It’ll take some time, but in some years you won’t even think about that event.”   
  


“I really hope so.”

Tsukasa pulled back a bit and softly lifted Senku’s face; he loved those shiny crimson eyes with all his heart. “I’ll be right here with you. We’ll work on this together; you’re not alone.”

Senku felt like crying, but before some tears could escape down his cheeks, he closed his eyes and kissed his boyfriend. Soft and swift, quick and sweet. “Thank you…” He whispered and cupped Tsukasa’s face witth both hands. “For everything.”

“Not even mention it…”

* * *

“Who was it?” 

“No one that you care…” Stanley was grunting. Fucking Senku just woke him up and that called really put him in such a bad mode. “I’ll be going home.” 

Ryusui sat on the bed and wiped away the sleep from his golden eyes, yawning loudly and glaring at the angry sniper that was dressing himself with his last night clothes; they slept in the nude but to the marine’s disappointment, they didn’t do anything. Oh well, it seemed things were once again changing between them, not that he had a crush or love interest in his friend; Ryusui was just loving to have some fun nights in the week. 

“As you wish, but you do seem pretty angry.”

“I just hate to be woken up.”

“I can see that.” Ryusui sighed and threw his body against the mattress, if Stanley was in a bad mode then there was no point in talking with him. He knew better than no one how his friend's mood changes were. “See you soon?”

“Yeah. I’ll call you.”

And with that, Stanley left. There was an anger coursing through his blood and he wanted to forget about Senku’s stupid voice; the things that kid said made sense in a way, but he was getting mad by the second, really disliking for having to start his day in that way. 

He sighed deeply. It didn’t take him too long to reach his house. Stanley took a deep breath before turning the knob to the righ and opening the door; there he was…

Xeno was sitting on the kitchen counter, enjoying his breakfast with Carlos and Max. The three eyes set on Stanley and in that mere moment another rage wave invaded the blonde’s body; his husband was right there as happy as always, almost as if the albino hadn’t done anything wrong; as if he hadn’t destroyed everything that Stanley loved. 

He didn’t want to keep thinking. How his life had turned into that? Stanley pinched his nose’s bridge and before Xeno was able to say anything, he grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him out of the stool, forcing him to stand up to follow him up the stairs. 

“Stan...where are you taking me?”

“Are you dumb? Can’t you see?”

Xeno’s cheeks were blushing and his heart was beating hard against his chest. It was pretty obvious where they were going, he just didn’t understand why the blonde was acting so rough with him. Not after the night they spent together; Xeno thought his husband needed some time to cool off, but seeing the sniper’s rage face wasn’t what he was expecting. 

Stanley opened his room’s door and locked it right after they were both inside. He wasn’t talking and just threw Xeno’s body against the mattress. 

“Stan...what’s…”

“Shut up…”

“But…” Xeno gasped loudly right when his husband tore away his blue shirt. “Wait! Why are you doing this!?” 

The sniper bit his lip as he didn’t want to answer, he just harshly pulled down the albino’s pants and underwear, leaving his bare body right beneath him on the bed. “I’m just so tired of your bullshit…”

“What bullshit? Stan…” Xeno was glaring at him; his eyes were already allowing some tears to run down his cheeks as he saw how the blonde spread open his legs.

Stanley spat on his hand and roughly prepared the albino’s hole. Xeno squirmed and tilted his head to both sides as his hands were roughly gripping the bed sheet. “It hurts…” There were two fingers deep inside him, curling and scissoring him, but he wasn’t lube enough; Xeno looked up while some tears began dirtying his face as he didn’t know what he did wrong this time. 

Last night Stanley was so soft and now he wasn’t liking the sudden roughness. “Please...It hurts so much…” He was trying to move his hips, but the blonde was holding him down. 

The sniper looked down and allowed for saliva to drip down his mouth, falling right between Xeno’s ass crack and using it as much as he could; noticing how his husband was feeling a little bit more at ease, but it wasn’t for him. Stanley removed his fingers and quickly unbuckled his belt, taking out his already hard cock and sadly glaring at it while he pushed it right through the rim of muscles. 

Xeno screamed more. Eyes completely open and crying intensely as he was glaring at the one he loved with all his heart. Stanley’s cock was piercing him open, almost breaking him in two; his hands moved up, desperately touching the strong abs and wrapping them around the sniper’s neck. “Please...why are you doing...this?” He sobbed. “I- thought we...we were good.”

“I told you we weren’t good…” Stanley was panting, rocking his hips and tightly grabbing the fatty hips until the white skin was slowly turning reddish. 

“But...why did you...change?” 

Stanley withdrew and slammed back with a stronger, hard thrust, causing Xeno to lurch forward before driving his body back against him. “Your fucking lover called me…” The blonde was repeating the thrusts with an increasing speed. 

“Senku?”

“Don’t fucking say his name!!” 

“Ah!” 

Stanley pulled out and quickly turned the albino’s body over, lifting his ass and spating right in between. “Your dry!”

“Isn’t that obvious? I told you this hurts…”

“Fuck…” The sniper felt slightly bad, Xeno’s void was red and swollen, a small string of blood was leaking out. He sighed and grabbed the lube bottle from the nightstand, he overturned it and let the clear liquid drizzle right inside the hole. 

“Cold…”

“Is this or nothing. You choose.” 

“Fine…” Xeno was silently crying against the pillow, nuzzling his head and not understanding a thing. He couldn’t avoid moaning when the blonde pushed the cock back inside; it still felt painful but at least the length was easily sliding all the way to brush against his prostate. He gasped loudly when Stanley’s hand crashed against his pink mountains with a loud reverberating slap. “What...what did he say to you?”

“Oh?” Stanley leaned his body closer, allowing his chest to rest against Xeno’s back; it was easier to whisper in his ear like that. “So you cared about that brat?”

“No…” The albino sobbed. “I care about you. I want to know what happened, why are you like this? What did I do this time?” 

Stanley pulled back, pushing the albino’s round cheeks wide as he gazed down, just to witness how his own cock was disappearing through the pink mountains; loving the embrace that his quivering hole was giving him. He was panting with lust, even feeling himself like a rage monster, but he continued jamming his cock inside; hearing the moans and listening to the sobs. “He...wanted to apologize...say it was more his fault than yours.” Stanley chuckled without stopping. “Guess you were dumb enough to fall to his charms, right?” 

“I said...I said I was sorry…” Xeno turned his head slightly, just bitterly crying as the sniper made whatever he wanted with his body. “I don’t know what else to do...I’m sorry…”

“Are you really sorry?” 

“Terribly sorry…” Xeno buried his face between the sheets and lifted his hips. “If this is what you want...fuck me until your rage is over…”

Stanley nodded and he pushed harder, gripping his hips and forcing himself further into the pink void. With his cock firmly embedded deep within the walls warmth, Xeno did his best to push back against him, swallowing up the remainder of his husband’s length and butting his cute cheeks against him. 

With the albino’s hips now motionless, Stanley resumed with his hard thrusts, sliding one hand down to grab Xeno’s small cock as he continued to slide in and out. Both were moaning, but no more words were exchanged; it was impossible for Xeno not to stop crying and he felt worse when his milk seed splashed right against the mattress. 

Stanley continued a bit more, not leaving him alone and even caressing his balls, urging him to clamp his length hard with his void. Xeno’s eyes closed shut when his husband’s load of cum painted his insides; it was a weird sensation. Warm and cold at the same time; he loved it so much, but now it didn’t taste as it was suppossed to. 

His legs were shaking and when Stanley finally removed his length, the albino wailed. “I’m sorry...is this what’s gonna take for you to forgive me? Are you happy with this revenge?” 

Stanley was lost at words. He just sat on his knees and glared at how his husband’s body was curling in the mattress, he couldn’t see his face as it was hidden between the fabrics. “I-I…”Words were hard. His heart was aching; Stanley was mad, but it hurted him to know he was capable of acting that way. “I don’t know…”

“I still love you, isn’t that sick?” 

The blonde got closer and laid down right beside his husband, wrapping both arms around the shivering body. “I don’t know what I am anymore. Even less what I want...perhaps we can get something in-between.”

“Like what?” Xeno was trying in vain to wipe away the constant tears. 

“I don’t know. Fuck buddies perhaps?”

“From husband’s to fuck buddies? Is that what you really want?”

“I don’t know what I want…”

Xeno sobbed a bit more. He even got some hycups as it felt unbearable. “Please, can you leave me alone for a moment?” 

Stanley sighed, but he completely understood. He stood up and tucked his flacid cock right inside his jeans. “Yeah.” The blonde stood up and covered with a blanket the albino’s body. “I’m sorry for this...outburst…”

But Xeno didn’t answer and the sniper didn’t blame him. 

They were completely broken. 

Stanley sighed deeply and exited the room. Now he was roomless, but he totally deserved it. 

* * *

Some hours passed and Stanley woke up in the living room. It was dark outside; he cursed at himself for napping during the whole afternoon. He looked around but Carlos and Max weren’t there; he hid his face between both palms and repressed his urge to cry or scream. 

It was too much. 

There was no movement inside the house and the sniper got up. He didn’t know what to do, but his body was moving on its own when he started cooking a warm chicken soup. He wasn’t the best at that, but Stanley had surely learned some tricks from Xeno; when to add the chicken, how to cut the vegetables and even which spices to add inside the boiling water. 

It was perfect. Stanley was even surprised at how tasty it was. 

He prepared a tray and slowly climbed up the stairs. There was no need to knock on the door, so he just opened it; hearing his heartbreak when he saw Xeno was asleep with swollen eyes from the constant crying. 

The sniper placed the tray on the nightstand and softly brushed the abino’s hair, removing the locks from his eyes and even leaning down to press a kiss on the puffy cheek. “I brought you dinner…”

Xeno had a hard time opening his eyes, but he still smiled when his dark orbs looked up and noticed Stanley was right there with him. “Really?” 

“Yeah...I don’t know what’s happening to me, but…I’m sorry…”

  
  


_ I’m sorry to have caused all this mess. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	21. Sweet, Colorful, Steady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stanley didn’t know what to do. He wanted to give Xeno some space but at the same time he didn’t want to leave him alone, although he surely felt like a monster...right after abusing him again. 

Stanley didn’t know what to do. He wanted to give Xeno some space but at the same time he didn’t want to leave him alone, although he surely felt like a monster...right after abusing him again. 

The albino sat on the bed, blankets covering his bare body and he even giggled softly when his husband placed the tray on his lap. The soup smelt amazing, a bit strong with some good spices and he even hummed when the warm liquid traveled down his throat, somehow calming a bit his broken heart. 

“Didn’t know you were a good cook.” 

“I learned from the best…” Stanley softly laughed. “And I used to cook some pasta for us.”

“But only that.”

“You never complained.”

“Because I knew you cooked it with love.”

“Yeah...although, that sounds cheesy as fuck.”

“I’m sorry.” Xeno kept eating. It was weird in all the senses. How they could easily talk about anything, but suddenly a great silence would invade the room; he really wanted to get things back to normal, but now it all seemed impossible. And all thanks to him and his stupid mistakes. 

Stanley shook his head. “Don’t apologize. I’m the one who came to do that.”

“Why?” Xeno was munching on a piece of the breast chicken, it was perfectly tender and juicy. 

“I don’t think it’s important to say it...right?”

The albino shrugged his bare shoulders and continued eating. It was true that it was hard for Stanley to apologize, although their usual fights always consisted of leaving the lights on, didn’t buying a new carton of milk or even smoking inside the house, but nothing resembled what they both had experienced these past few weeks. 

“It’s alright...don’t worry about it.”

Stanley sighed in relief and he got a bit closer, softly brushing his nose against Xeno’s neck without saying anything. He just wanted to be there. For a little while the albino allowed it; he continued eating, enjoying his husband’s company and sometimes even biting the inside of his cheek to avoid crying. 

The sniper didn’t need any more of his tears. Not after all the trouble that he had caused to their whole relationship. 

Regret was sure a learning tool. Xeno was tired of letting his past mistakes educate him once more so he could try and move on into a better future, although he still wondered if Stanley was going to be right there with him. It even seemed like something impossible. 

In that moment, a flash of sudden sadness came and coursed right through his whole body; it felt horrible, forcing Xeno to relieve everything as he tried to summon more inner strength to overcome it. Strangely, Stanley’s soft touch was calming him as he knew he failed them both. 

Xeno always understood that Stanley was never the problem, but him. He wanted to be better, for them both, but he was afraid to walk alone, even if that meant knowing who he really was; the person that the blonde needed by his side. 

“Can I sleep here?” Stanley asked once the albino finished with his late dinner. 

“Sure. It 's your bed.” Xeno slowly moved to the side, patting the mattress and inviting the blonde to join him. 

Stanley removed his clothes and quickly got inside the covers, although he didn’t hug Xeno. He lay on his side, blue eyes fixated on the small body right next to him; hating that it felt impossible to embrace him tightly, but after hurting him so much, the sniper preferred to give him some space. 

“Good night.” 

“Good night.” 

And both closed their eyes, allowing the black tranquility to help them find a sweet dream; it was a strange softness that was calling their body and brain to rest and let their hearts go to their steady rhythm. Both knowing the other was there, breathing the same warm air and softly smilling while their soul was slowly getting calm. 

* * *

In the morning Stanley wasn’t there and Xeno understood. It was good while it lasted. 

He wiped away the sleep from his eyes and yawned, not really wanting to get out of bed, but knowing it was better sooner than later. His dark orbs fixated on the phone that he left resting on the nightstand; the albino didn’t really think about it as it felt like a muscle reflex. 

Xeno grabbed his phone and inmediately called that number, not really knowing what he was going to say, but he couldn’t keep quiet after what happened the night before. 

It rang once...twice before someone picked up.

“Hello?”

“WHY THE HELL DID YOU CALL STANLEY?” Xeno didn’t really want to scream, but he couldn’t control himself. 

On the other side of the world Senku was perpexled; it was almost midnight and Tsukasa hadn’t returned home to help him talk with his ex-lover. He gulped hard. “I wanted to apologize.”

“I already did that and it didn’t go well on my side...but when you called him...he…” Xeno didn’t want to say it. To admit that Stanley raped him after hearing Senku’s voice. 

“Did he do something?”

“Not that you care.” Some tears started running down Xeno’s cheeks and he hated that the sadness was reflecting on his frail voice. 

“I care!” Senku sat on the bed, tightly gripping his shirt. “I really care! That’s why I called him.”

“You didn’t have any right!”

“I…” Senku pinched his nose’s bridge. “We did something bad. And I needed to apologize for that, that’s all. Did something happen?” 

“He got mad…” Xeno really hated to confide some personal information with Senku, but he could still be vague about it, not sharing any gruesome details. “We fight. Again.” He sighed. “I don’t know if I can do it anymore…”

“Are you two on a break?”

“Nosy.”

“It sounds like a yes.”

“Smart, aren’t you?” Xeno wetly chuckled. “It’s just that...I’ve been trying to apologize and recover what I broke.”

“I’m sorry.” Senku sighed and hugged his legs, resting his chin on his knees. “I should apologize to you too. I told Stanley that I was the one that insisted on our...well, that.”

“I’m also sorry. I took your cherry, didn’t treat you well.” Xeno was feeling too many emotions at the same time. “And made you think things that were unreal…”

“You didn’t want anything with me, right?”

“You want the cold truth?”

“Yeah. Shoot.”

Xeno didn’t see it fit to keep hiding secrets or inner thoughts, not when he had the opportunity to fully talk. “I never wanted anything but your body. Stanley was my first in everything...I had never experienced it before and don’t get me wrong, you’re sweet, cute, attractive...but it was impossible for me to fall in love with you.” Xeno heavily sighed. “Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it, but…”

“It was wrong.” Senku felt a knot forming on his throat. Deep down he always knew it; Xeno was cold, distant and overly lustful. It was rare for them to talk and when Stanley got back, the albino almost vanished from his life. 

“It was good while it lasted.”

Senku chuckled. “Yeah, I don’t regret that part. You did teach me a lot of myself and what I like.”

“So I guess Tsukasa’s been treating you well.”

“He is.”

There was an awkward silence, but it seemed like there was nothing else to be discussed. “I’ll hang up, then. Just please, don’t talk with Stanley.” Xeno finally laughed a bit. “He still despises you.”

“I don’t blame him, though.”

They said their goodbyes one last time and the albino ended the call, not really knowing if it was worthy to have made it in the first place, but at least now all the cards were displayed on the table. 

He stood up and got inside the bathroom; Xeno really needed a nice warm bath after enduring that weird and rough night with Stanley, but his mind was a bit lost. He was thinking of another option, one that was becoming clearer as the time passed and he cried right then and there, hiding his eyes with his left hand and silently sobbing once the water covered his bruised body. 

Xeno knew he had done something pretty awful as he constantly needed to look for things to say to justify his actions or even to ask for forgiveness on countless ocassions. 

* * *

The rest of the day he didn’t talk with Stanley. The Sniper wasn’t even home. 

Xeno didn’t really know what to think, even less what to do as he felt all his options were slowly closing right in front of his face. 

Stanley returned late at night, a bit drunk as he noticed the droozy eyes, the blushed cheeks and the constant hiccups that escaped through his lips.

The blonde didn’t even look at him. He just climbed up the stairs and slammed shut his room’s door. The silence was almost unbearable, but Xeno wanted to wait for a little bit longer, hoping to find an opportunity for them to finally talk things through; right after the special homemade dinner and sincere apology...Xeno thought there was a small gap for them to solve their stuff.

One day turned into two and then three. Suddenly a whole week passed without them speaking again, but the albino had already made his decision. 

He asked Carlos and Max for some privacy as he didn’t know how things could play out. 

“Please don’t ask me why.” 

Both guys knew the pain behind Xeno’s eyes and they nodded their heads, saying that they could spend the whole day outside. Carlos softly squeezed Xeno’s shoulder. “Good luck.”

“Thank you.” 

Once the guys left, the waiting hours felt eternal. He was sitting in the living room’s couch, with a bouncing leg and desperately fidgeting with his fingers; the albino’s throat felt dry and a cold sweat was dripping down his forehead as he tried to bite his lips in order to gather some inner strength and avoid crying. 

Xeno’s heart skipped a bit the moment he heard the front door opening. Finally. 

Stanley closed it behind his back and arched an eyebrow, glaring at the small guy that looked at him with sad puppy eyes; it was true that he had been a bitch the whole week. The truth was that he was so ashamed of himself, of his thoughts and even more of his past actions. It was hard to look Xeno in the eyes and admit all the wrongdoings he had committed. 

“Hi.”

Xeno chuckled and his eyes quickly became teary; he didn’t know how much he had missed his husband’s voice in those past few days. “Hi…”

“Is something wrong?”

“Why don’t you take a seat?” 

Stanley arched an eyebrow and tilted his head. The environment felt strange and somehow heavy but he complied, slowly walking towards the albino and sitting on the couch right in front of him. “Well?” 

Xeno sighed deeply and softly smiled. He grabbed an envelope that was set on the coffee table and silently gave it to the blonde. 

Stanley accepted it, but his blue gaze couldn’t look down. No. There was a fear bubbling up inside his chest and heart, his throat felt dry and his eyes got wide open as he tried to find some words. Could it be? 

Inside that relationship; the one Xeno broke and the one Stanley stepped on, his love still remained. Inside that big heart of his there was an infinite love and though they were vaguely moving in new spheres, he didn’t want to challenge their future together. 

“Hey, this is…”

Xeno nodded. The tears were already dripping down his cheeks and he tried to wipe them off, but it was impossible. 

“But…”

“You haven’t even looked inside.” 

Stanley stood up, right hand still gripping tightly on the white envelope. “I don’t want to look inside.”

“Why?”

Why? A thousand questions invaded Stanley’s mind and he hated how his lips were also quivering as he took some steps to be near the albino. Why? He kept asking himself while sitting on his knees and holding Xeno’s hand between his own. “Because my love...my love is still yours.”

“Stan...I don’t deserve this. Not after…”

“Isn’t this what you want? I’m…” Stanley was looking up at those shiny black orbs that were telling him a million words. “I’m here. I love the time we had, the love we shared, and you’re still in my heart…” 

Xeno was lost at words, he was so sure about his decision, even if it was killing him slowly. “I’m so sorry...this is all my fault...I…”

But Stanley shut him up. The sniper kissed him, soft and tender, sweet and swift, letting go of the envelope and curling his fingers through the silvery locks that felt like silck between his skin. 

Stanley pulled against Xeno, pressing his mouth to his, possessing and owning him in a way he thought he had forgotten about. His lips were soft and firm, tempting the albino until a cute mewl opened those puffy lips, gasping for air and allowing his velvet tongue to get inside. 

The blonde was capturing every incoming sound inside his mouth, running his tongue along the albino’s lips and allowing their tongues to get to know each other once more. Xeno kept crying and wrapping his arms around Stanley’s neck, deepening the kiss and shivering with every single touch. 

It lasted some minutes, but it sure felt eternal. 

He was sure. 

Both were sure. 

“Stan...I’m so…”

Stanley pressed a finger against the albino’s mouth. “Forget it.” 

“But…”

“I can’t think about a future without you.” His strong hands wrapped on the tiny waist and pulled Xeno off the couch, forcing him to sit on his lap right on the floor. “The envelope...tear it into a million pieces. You were a dumbass and I was a monster, so...no.” Stanley felt stupid for allowing some tears to fall down on the albino’s cheeks. “You’re stuck here with me, you made some vows to me...you have to keep them Xeno…”

The albino wasn’t believing Stanley’s words. It was almost as if a horrible mist had lifted from his mind and heart; the pieces were already getting back together and he couldn’t stop crying. “I won’t break them again…”

Stanley disliked how love and hate were on the same train, making him commit his own mistakes and regrets, but if Xeno was willing and if he was able to let everything go...then it was possible. Being that open and emotionally vulnerable with the albino was hard enough, but at least he was happy that Xeno was the only guy on Earth that had seen every single facet of his life. 

“You’re my husband Xeno...for better or worse…” Stanley chuckled. “I will stay as long as you promised to love me...and not a day more.” 

“I love you!” Xeno shouted, embracing his husband tighter. “More than the air that I need to breathe, more than my brain can think of and more than my life.” 

“Good…” Stanley lifted the albino’s chin and kept kissing those lips that were soon forgetting about all the constant fear and doubts, but that were now willingly moving under his touch and allowing for their future to shine once more. “It’s a fresh start.”

A book closed and a new one opened, appearing one word after the other, yet slowly; allowing them to take in a new ryhtmn. 

They lock eyes; Xeno’s new smile was a mirror of his. 

And Stanley felt like everything was right, taking its course and allowing for his heart to beat hard against his chest. 

Their love was sweet, colorful, steady...and now forgiving. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I'll try to update once a week. 
> 
> You can follow me on twitter for every fic update notice @Dainonico.


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